WHO: Arendelle's Princess and her flambouyant gothic maiden WHERE: Around the middle of town WHEN: TODAY~ WHAT: Makeshift slip-n-slides make formerly murderous princesses smile. WARNINGS: Cuteness, innuendo, wedgies, chest puppies. STATUS: Complete!
Technically a house wasn’t procured yet, but it didn’t stop Kenzi from collecting the necessary supplies - the elongated tarp, the duct tape to hold it down, a hose connected to a waterline, and copious, copious amounts of dish soap to make it a sudsy and slippery ride down.
And yes, doing this in the middle of town was an appropriate thing to do. Anna needed a smile on her face and she’d do the most ridiculous things to make those princessy lips curl upward and maybe even yield a royal giggle from her Ginger Highness, who knew. “Okay, so--it’s not windy, so we shouldn’t have much of a problem taping it down…” Somehow she managed to find purple leopard printed duct tape (Marrowood had some strange shit) and had plenty of rolls to spare, and grabbed the first one to tear off a long piece of adhesive with her teeth. “We tape it all down to make sure it doesn’t come up. Let’s hope Lady Sheriff Pants doesn’t come and say we’re disrupting public peace, or something.”
Never before had Anna made a slip n’slide! Actually, she didn’t even really know what one was, and was just basing her visual images off of what Kenzi told her (and Isaac seemed all for the idea too), but she was eager to get started. She’d taken some time to hide out in her room, under the blankets, as if they could shield her from the pain and torment - but that wouldn’t work forever, and she began to get her strength back. Loki not being angry with her helped, though she worried about him - worried that her sister retreating into her usual shell had affected him more than he let on. Killing someone still had a profound effect on the ginger royal, and maybe one day Anna would forgive herself - she knew it wasn’t her fault, knew that her actions weren’t even really her own, but it was difficult for her heart and head to reconcile and there was a sense of dread in knowing that the town had irrevocably changed her. Spite and fury about that too, but she would hold the regal point of her chin high and carry on like a true princess would.
Her friends here truly were the best. She loved them all, and all of their quirks, including using leopard-print duct tape. The tears still threatened to spill but being around those friends helped keep them at bay.
“It’s not too cold though, you think?” she giggled, one slipping free already as she too ripped off a piece of tape, beginning to drag the roll down the other side of the tarp. While attempting to smush it down so it didn’t bubble up or anything - they wanted a smooth slide, right? “We’ve never really seen the sun here. Well. Barely ever. But I don’t care, I think it’s good enough for a slide and so there.” So there, gloomy Marrowood!
“It needs to be bikini season at some point in this stupid place,” mumbled the token gothic princess, with her pitchblack hair straightened into utter perfection, a streak of purple bright and visible. Kenzi had not sacrificed her integrity with fashion, not even once, after stepping foot into this hellhole - or as Hookman so affectionately called it, Satan’s Asshole. Really, it was a damn accurate description.
With Anna’s help it didn’t take long to tape down the tarp, their lovely designed duct tape adding the perfect flair to their makeshift thing. Luckily they had enough too, and accomplished, Kenzi straightened and dusted her hands off with a wry grin. “Done on my end, princess. The way we do this is we hose it down - keep it going too, we’ll set it at the end we start at - and lather all the soap up with it. If you don’t earn bruises from this, then you’re not doing it right.”
Her ensemble today wasn’t too complicated to peel off, anyway, and she didn’t really know if Marrowood had swimsuits (she hadn’t looked) but that’s what bras and panties practically were, right? Not much of a difference aside from the material, and Kenzi just made sure she wasn’t wearing anything blingy - no bedazzled underoos for this thing, she’ll have you know/
“Hose it down? Okay, well, I guess we let ‘er rip, then?” Anna asked, also shimmying out of her chosen outfit. The jeans she just loved, and couldn’t ever see herself parting with, but they weren’t good for slip n’slide adventures. Nor was the sweater she’d worn over her cute bra to match her underthings. She had never owned a swimsuit in her life either, but this was as good as anything else - sort of a sky blue bra and panty set, why not? Even if they were probably giving all the spooks and goblins a thrill by frolicking in the soapy water in their underwear.
She grabbed the hose and walked backward to the veeeeeeeery back of the designated slide, where the tarp ended. “Turn it on? Then we let it get all wet? Otherwise it’ll probably sting, right?” It would cause...slide burn! Ouch!
Off came Kenzi’s too, after she untied the faux-corset (it wasn’t a real, bone-tight one, but obvious she loved the look) and everything else came off easily. Though she made extra sure her shoes were a little bit away to avoid them getting wet, anyway - those babies were not getting touched, thank you.
Her little set was as dark as her clothes were, simple yet with the added push-up padding that most of hers carried because cleavage was important, she’d have to give Anna a lesson in that. And her cleavage would still be impeccable during their little project as long as anything important didn’t happen to accidentally ‘pop out.’
“It’ll sting like a bitch,” smirked Kenzi, twisting on the water, testing it to make sure the right amount of pressure was coming out right. Once satisfied, she grabbed it and started spraying the water. “Start opening the soaps, Anna, and start squirting!” In a non-euphemistic way was what Kenzi wanted to add, but Anna’s sweet little mind couldn’t have been so corrupted that she took it the dirty way, did she?
If she did, she was very proud and also would apologize very profusely that she’d ever take the word ‘squirting’ in a perverted fashion because gross.
Of course Anna’s mind went there - because she was officially a woman of loose morals, after giving up her virginity to Isaac, a decision she didn’t regret because she made it of her own free will and with her own mind. When she was herself. So. Pretty perfect, actually, but now that she’d actually done it, she was sort of attuned to all things dirty.
“That’s such a weird word!” she shrieked, twisting open the soap bottles and she managed to do what was asked of her - yep, that was a squirting, alright, and it made her laugh even more. “How am I doing With the squirting?” The noise it made though. This was probably considered obscene by most standards - the bras and panties probably didn’t help either.
Oh sweet baby jesus, it did register to Anna in a dirty way! Those piercing ice blues of Kenzi’s went wide, her mouth forming a perfect ohmygod kind of ‘oh,’ a hand dramatically held to her lips. “Anna! You kiss Isaac with that dirty mouth?”
A thumb went over the opening of the hose and she blatantly sprayed Anna, the look of shock taken over by diabolical mischief.
“And, yeah sweetness, you sure are a pro at squirting!” Kenzi yelled, reeling the hose back to stop soaking her cutesy majesty. “Holy gnomeballs, Anna, your sister hears you talk like that and she’s going to be shitting icecubes. For realz.”
She was laughing, though. Score 1 for Kenzi, 4948943 for Marrowood.
“Heeeeeey!” Another shriek, when she was sprayed, and the water was freezing. This wasn’t exactly summer lovin’ weather either, and she felt goose bumps break out all on ivory skin, a shiver rippling through her. “What are...gnomeballs? And why would she shit icecubes?” Because really, Elsa didn’t have much room to talk.
Though it must have been kind of traumatizing to do things when you weren’t really yourself and had no say in what you were doing.
Now a suds-covered ginger cookie crisp, she tried to shake off the bubbles but it didn’t work and she just looked like a wet mess, really. “Who goes first? You want first dibs on the inaugural slide down our tarp?” It was looking amazing, and like a lot of fun. Or like they’d break something, but oh well, that was a necessary risk for fun.
Another strip of duct tape was ripped by Kenzi’s teeth, so she could keep the house on the ground and in one spot - right in front of where they’d fall and slide, just to keep it nice and wet. That’s what she said. “Gnomeballs are the testicles of gnomes, honeyboo. And your sister, well...I’ve seen her around, and she seems wound up tight. Real tight. A bottle ready to pop, more like it. And I hear she’s a queen, so I’m sure the concept of squirting in royalty earns an insulted gasp! Or...something. I don’t know shit, okay, I’m a peasant.”
Now she finally got a chance to survey their man made contraption, and Kenzi ruled it as a success. Good thing her makeup was fucking waterproof because there was no way this dolled up face, with plump inky black lashes and eyeshadow carefully stroked around her eyes, was going to get smudged. Mmkay?
“You first, princess.” A dramatic bow. “You’ve never done this, yeah? First slide’s on you. And when you go back to Arandelle, you can tell all your people that a maiden named Kenzi taught you this epic sorcery.”
Maybe she’d be a legend, or something!
Badass.
“Squirting is definitely not discussed in the royal circles,” Anna laughed, her pert nose crinkling. “And you’re not a peasant! You’d be like, a lady-in-waiting or something. It’d be pretty fancy.” Or what did she know, she wasn’t the queen. Her princess duties mostly consisted of ‘learn pointless stuff like needlepoint and proper table manners,’ and that was the end of it. Not like she was running anything or making the big decisions. Oh well.
Slide time!
Now determined to make her first time at this really good, she started at the extra-wet end - well, she backed up quite a bit first. To get a running start. Then zoooooooooooom, flop, down onto the slide in a mess of uncoordinated limbs. And she hit the tarp a little hard because there was already a bruise blossoming on her side, yet she didn’t notice because she was indeed sliding. And slipping.
“Oh my gosh!” Tumbling some more, she was a soaking wet mess at the finale. “That was amazing!”
Okay, so Anna’s descent was a little messy with a touch of awkward, but she was having fun and Kenzi’s laugh sung with hers. So much that she doubled over some, an arm across her flat stomach as she blatantly cackled. “Awww, man - your face was priceless!” She’d have to see if Loki could conjure a camcorder or something, and her mouth opened to mention that, but…
Loki would bring up the murder. Would spiral Anna into a depressing blackhole and she wasn’t about to let it happen while they were out here.
Now, her turn! Kenzi made a point to adjust her lovely little lady lumps and patting those puppies in preparation. Boobs were her assets; she had no ass and her legs were chicken skinny, she had to accentuate those babies somehow. Then she flapped her arms like a bed out to stretch them, before making a dramatic dive into the tarp and slide down with a glass-shattering eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Probably made those odd Marrowood citizens wake up a little and turn their heads, but fuck ‘em.
It ended with Kenzi off the tarp and into the dead grass, bursting into a fit of giggles and kicking her feet into the air. “Amazeballs, Anna! The term is amazeballs! And help me up, I’m so old I probably broke a hip.”
Anna was still laughing, probably having pulled a stomach muscle or two, but after a long period of despair and solemnity, it just felt really good. Like shaking off the tendrils of doom that tried to choke her out - and they had almost succeeded. “Amazeballs are different from gnomeballs?” she snickered, extending a hand to help Kenzi to her feet.
“Thank you for this,” she added, breathless, a pleased pink flush to her cheeks. “I...needed it. Needed to remember that I don’t care what people think, I’m going to hang tightly to what makes me happy here.” She had to. That was how she coped, that was how she stayed strong.
Back up on her feet and covered in bubbles, Kenzi was, her hair a soaked mess now. As much work as she put in it this morning, she’d let the mop-disaster slide for today. “Makeshift slip-n’-slides - the key of happiness to your heart.” A finger went to bop Anna on the nose, and then her arms went to fully embrace her - bring Anna into her bosom or something for comfort.
“It’s okay to get your angst on and wear the same underwear a couple days in a row when you’re depressed - not like I’ll tell Isaac, girl secret, ‘kay? But the best weapon is to…” Her nose twitched in thought, glancing around at the dreariness that was Marrowood. The cloudy skies, the dead plant life that must have been green, once upon a time. “Get up and show this place that you can still laugh and smile and look freakin’ fabulous, no matter what kind of craycray shit it throws you.”
Now they were sopping wet and hugging in their underwear, but Anna wasn’t complaining. She was actually shedding relieved tears. The cathartic kind. “I’m trying,” she admitted, sniffling, and she thought she was doing an okay job at it. There were friends who would help, and friends who understood - that was all she could ask for, really. Maybe she didn’t have all the answers and she was useless in terms of heavy lifting, magic, superpowers, or whatever else around here - but she’d stay true to herself, and that probably took a lot of courage.
“I’m so glad I have you to help me look fabulous though!” She pulled back a little and held Kenzi’s shoulders, looking proud. “I mean, you taught me how to accentuate my chest puppies. That’s super important.”
Ohmygod was this water from the slide, or was she crying? Kenzi couldn’t tell but Anna didn’t look heartbroken - there was a smile in there, somewhere, enough for her to detect it anyway. And then there was that look she gave her about chest puppies and what is life, again?
“...chest puppies are important,” she agreed, after Anna’s verbal vomit, but a grin broke across her face impishly. “Here’s the thing, babe: even when you feel like shit every morning, even when you want to wear old clothes and let your hair get all greasy, you get up. You put on some clothes and makeup and make yourself pretty. Look good and you’ll feel good.”
Superficial almost, but it was true - working on making yourself free pretty in the reigns of your comfort zone helped with the mood. That’s how she trudged through it, after the torture chamber above the Sleepy Hollow - getting her eye cut out, the electrocution, being utterly terrified with someone she barely knew (and now they were total bros). She got up every day. Did her hair, did her make up, and it helped.
Anna didn’t see anything wrong with that. In fact, it could probably help a lot of people. There were many lost sheep here in Marrowood, people who didn’t know what to do with themselves, but having a goal - even one as small as ‘get up, look fabulous’ would help cement some purpose and just get things back on track. See, what a good life coach Kenzi was!
“I want to help too,” she sniffled again, wiping her eyes. Just kind of a wet spaghetti noodle mess in general, really. “Make people look and feel good, I mean. You’ll hire me for your salon?” It was nice too, that Kenzi was falling back on other things besides alcohol too. Even if both her and Hook were going through withdrawals.
Awwww, that little face. It was the epitome of pitiful and squishy, even - Kenzi felt the need to test the softness of those puffy cheeks with a squish of her hands. It almost give her the mommy-feels she had when she raised Tamsin through her final life (valkyries grew up way too fast - literally! sniffsniff).
“Babycakes, you’re hired. No questions asked. I’ll even forgo the application and interview process - and drug test too, I know you’re squeaky clean and not snorting crack,” she grinned, a pat-pat to Anna’s back. “You can help me mix dyes, bedazzle the shit out of some bras. We’ll totally make our own line of fashion, yeah?”
Anna was pretty sure she’d never had her cheeks squished before. It made her giggle. “No, uh...I don’t do drugs, of course not!” she insisted, because the wildest thing she’d ever done was probably drink that jungle juice Kenzi made, or whatever it was called. Getting drunk? Sex? Sure, both those things. But the first she didn’t really have any interest in, not anymore. Tried it once, and that was good enough for her.
“I can mix dyes,” she nodded enthusiastically. “And help you bedazzle anything. Me and you would make the best business partners.” Just give her a gun and she’d be good to go. That was one weapon she wasn’t afraid of handling.
Glancing at their masterpiece, the slide, she felt another rush of pride. And assurance that things were going to get better. “Well! Should we give it another try?”
Not like Kenzi had room for relapse alcoholism anyway, with Hookman and Mother Russia keeping watchful eyes from practically every corner. Even if she somehow snuck a shot behind their backs its as if they’d know, and Hookdaddy was a professional alcoholic - he’d smell it on her from a mile away, goddamnit gramps. And she didn’t think she could handle a look of disappointment from Nat. It was like having an older sister she wanted to impress and make happy, or something. Occupying herself with something else aside from a bottle of liquor seemed like the best thing - and there was no other business better than looking fabulous, was there?
For a shitty little town, this place sure has a knack of making you feel things, god.
“Tarp’s wide enough if we both wanted to dive in at the same time,” Kenzi pointed out, the perfectly tweezed brow of hers raised in a challenge. A hand was offered. “Shall we, princess? We’ll take advantage of this as much as we can - until our nips are so cold they’ll break off like icicles.”
Having body parts break off like icicles didn’t seem fun, but Anna was all for Kenzi’s enthusiasm anyway! “Let’s do it,” she agreed, taking her friends hand - in her own freezing cold one, shivering, but she still had a grin on her face that threatened the chill and was as warming as the sun’s rays. Actually, she hadn’t felt this good in awhile. It had been too long, and she wanted to continue to shake off those cobwebs of sadness.
Taking her place, she did as Kenzi would do and adjusted her chest puppies. Her own, that is. Kenzi could take care of her personal set however she wanted. The slippery slide awaited them, all in its slick and squirty glory.
“Ready?”
Well, on the bright side, their pasty-white asses wouldn’t get lobster-red from sun rays that would typically be associated with an outdoor activity such as this. Luckily Kenzi brought some fluffy towels to wrap themselves when they were ready to skedaddle to their cozy murder house abode! Because she could feel the Marrowood chill already, that haunting breeze that froze your very bones.
Pups adjusted properly to make sure those nips Kenzi so graciously mentioned weren’t sticking out, and a shift of her lacy gothic-y panties to make sure she wasn’t all wedgied up (wedgies happen, okay), and she was set. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” she quipped, teeth chattering a little bit, and she hopped on each leg for a second to shake off the brrrr. “After we’ve had our fun, we’re cuddling the shit out of some blankets.”
Anna’s hand grabbed again, and Kenzi held their hands up in a triumphant fist-bump, Jersey style, and then came the weeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Down the slide! Anna probably bruised herself again, but it was well worth it. She was a burst of confetti giggles as they slid, and she tumbled pretty much ass over feet (not exactly graceful, only when the gods of elegance decided to smile upon her) all the way home. Or to the end of the sudsy slide, and then she was breathless and her ribs hurt from either all the rolling around on the wet tarp or from laughing so hard.
“Blankets and hot chocolate,” she decided, and that was when the chill hit her again, full force, but the promise of warmth awaited! “That sounds perfect to me.” Hey, not too bad for a demonic helltown, right?
Bruises everywhere for the most part, that was to be expected. It wasn’t like they were sliding above a road of clouds either, and next time Kenzi had to remind herself to double-check for annoying rocks because boy, did she feel those.
“Ohjesusballs,” she wheezed, all in an attempt to spit out all the soap and bubbles that got into her mouth. “This soap tastes like wet puppies. Yuck.” Pfffffffffffffffffffft, another spitty motion and she tried to clean her tongue with her hands, all while gracefully laying on her back, soaking wet, feet in the air.
Surely by now the roaming citizens of Marrowood stopped by to at least cock their heads in stupendous wonder of their silly entertainment.
“Anna, my nips--they’re frozen. Why didn’t we do this with hot water instead?”
Wait a minute...
“You mean we could have done it with hot water?!” Anna gasped and oooooh, Kenzi! You were a crazy lady. But that was okay, the princess loved her anyway. Though she had a point about the soap. Blech. It tasted way more nasty than was necessary. “Okay, now we know for next time,” she decided, standing up, wobbling, adjusting both her chest puppies and the underwear that had decided to take a journey up her bum where she didn’t exactly want it to go.
Then she offered a hand.
“Come on, let’s go.” Fluffy towels procured, she unfolded one and tossed it at Kenzi. “I need something warm and cozy or I’m going to die.”
Kenzi was a little bonkers, wasn’t she? Anna’s reaction made her burst into a fit of giggles that erupted into laughter, and she gladly took her hand and caught the towel to wrap herself in. “Okay, let’s ignore that little fact and - see? You’re laughing, and smiling, and that’s the best way to give this stupid place the middle finger. I hope it fucking melts with your face of sunshine. You hear that, Marrowood?” A shout to the sky, not like it mattered, but it still needed to be said. “A face of SUNSHINE!”
There was silence, of course - did Marrowood have birds? If it did, it’d be the perfect time for one to shit on her for her insolence, of course.
Bundled up now, she shut off the water and surveyed their mess and realized she had absolutely no energy to clean it up. “You, uh...think Sheriff Blondie will arrest us if we clean this up later?”
And by later she meant ‘next week.’
“SUNSHINE!” Anna yelled too, just for added dramatic effect, and her own super scary voice was met with silence from the spooks as well. Fine then. “And I don’t think Sheriff Blond...er, Emma will mind. Because we’re providing a valuable service here. People can use this slip n’slide for their own squirty pleasure.”
Ew, that sounded wrong. But like she cared. Screw you, town.
Now somewhat toweled off, she looped an arm around her gothic blackcherry princess bestie’s. To survive another day, and look fabulous doing it!