|ginny weasley is cuter than a guinea pig (born_a_lion) wrote in wished,|
@ 2010-02-09 22:27:00
|Entry tags:||!1998: 02, !complete, ginny weasley, sam capper|
WHO: Ginny Weasley & Sam Capper
WHAT: a squabble and a revelation
WHERE: Gryffindor tower and the halls of Hogwarts
WHEN: 9 Feb Tues, just before curfew
WARNINGS/RATING/STATUS: Cursing and sadness, hug your mums, guys/PG/Finished
Sam strummed her guitar idly, shifting anxiously on her bed. Her journal was at one end, abandoned, and her transfiguration book was at the other end suffering an equal fate. Despite the many ways she'd tried to distract herself since dinner nothing had worked. It had been one month that morning since she'd received Mallory's owl telling her about Mum and she'd been on edge for days. More so than just that. She hadn't been herself since that owl and each day made it all a little bit worse. Every time she managed to distract herself something else happened to remind her and it was reaching a point where hope had turned into mere denial and she wasn't quite sure how to cope with it all.
Sighing heavily, Sam gave up playing and folded her arms across the top of the instrument, resting her chin on her forearms. She shut her eyes and ignored the voices of her roommates for a moment, trying to see if it was possible to just empty her mind of everything for a few moments, seeking some peace from her own mind.
Putting the final touch on her Transfiguration essay, Ginny hurried to shove all her books and parchment into her bag. Lately she felt the almost constant need to be close to Sam. Her girlfriend was hurting and there seemed to be nothing to do to help. Sam at least seemed a little better when she was near, but she wasn't sure if that was real or just her wishful thinking.
She crossed the room and tugged open Sam's curtains, bouncing onto the bed beside Sam. She pressed a quick kiss to Sam's forehead before yanking the curtains closed and moving closer to her. "Hey, baby." She murmured, stroking her fingers along Sam's arm.
"Hey, Gin." Sam slowly opened her eyes and turned towards Ginny, giving her a tired smile. She loved her girlfriend but she couldn't help but note her horrible timing, she'd only thought the words 'cigarette' and 'time' when the redhead had bounced onto her bed.
Ducking her head towards Sam's neck, Ginny missed the tired smile. "I missed you," she murmured, her lips humming against the other girl's skin. She missed the old Sam, a little voice in her head piped up, one that she shushed instantly. She loved Sam, regardless of the mood she was in, and just wanted her to be happy. "A lot," she continued, moving her hand to remove Sam's guitar from her lap.
"Missed you too," she assured her, wrapping her arms around Ginny's neck and kissing her firmly. Sam watched Ginny take her guitar way and pressed another kiss to her lips, moving to stand up before Ginny could get close and make leaving more difficult. "I need to go smoke," she explained, pushing back her curtains to grab her pack from the bedside. "I'll be quick."
Grabbing the front of Sam's shirt, Ginny tugged her back down onto the bed, on top of her. "You don't need to go smoke." She complained, lightly, running her fingers along the curve of Sam's hip. "Do you?" she continued, her voice full of promise.
"Yeah. I do." Despite her split feelings over wanting to stay in bed with Ginny and wanting to do as she planned, Sam bristled at Ginny's insistence anyway. "I'll just be fifteen, twenty minutes."
At Sam's tone, Ginny dropped her hands from the other girl's shirt, her words coming without bidding. "Maybe I won't be here," she shot back. There was a part of her telling her to just shut up, that Sam had a reason to be snitty, that Ginny would be much worse if her mum was missing, but she couldn't stop herself.
Sam shot Ginny a look but kept her remarks to herself. If her girlfriend wanted to pout and whatever she knew some comment from her wasn't going to change it. "I'll be back," she said instead, pulling on her cloak, shoving her cigarettes and lighter inside and headed for the stairs.
Ginny sat there for a moment, her arms crossed over her chest before she pushed out of bed. Grabbing her cloak, she headed down the stairs after Sam. What was going on with the other girl? Yesterday she'd been in some sort of mood, and Ginny had been concerned, but that mood had culminated in some spectacular shagging, so she hadn't minded as much. But if this was going to be a regular thing, Ginny wanted to know why. She hurried through the common room and out into the hall, catching a glimpse of Sam's cloak as she turned the corner. "Oi!" She called, following after the other girl. "Sam!"
Stopping after the second call, Sam stifled a frustrated moan and turned to face Ginny. She opened her mouth to respond but realised she had nothing and shut it. Instead she raised her eyebrows questioningly, waiting for the other girl to explain why she'd felt the need to chase after her.
"So..." Ginny came to a halt a few feet away from Sam and held her hands out at her sides, questioningly. "What the hell is going on?" She asked, foregoing any beating around the bush. She didn't have the patience for this, and that made her feel like a bad girlfriend and an even worse friend, which made her even more tetchy.
Disbelieving, Sam stared at Ginny. She understood if the other girl had difficulty coping with her emotional turmoil, she couldn't handle it herself so she couldn't expect others to, but acting so oblivious? It was ALL Sam could think about, all she'd thought about all day and it didn't even cross her mind?
"Merlin, Gin!" Sam threw her hands up in the air. "Just...nothing. Alright?" Not giving her a chance to respond, Sam turned and continued toward the grand staircase.
"Nothing?" Ginny echoed in disbelief. Chasing after Sam again, Ginny grabbed the edge of her cloak and tugged her closer. If Ginny really wanted to go after Sam, she could've easily lapped her, the other girl was no good at running, but she didn't. She just wanted to find out what new thing had happened and deal with it, then go snuggle... and perhaps have more of that very intriguing sex from the night before. "Yeah, pull the other one, it's got bells on."
"Fuck, Ginny!" Sam squinched her eyes shut and pressed her palms against them, taking in a deep breath. She tugged her cloak back and hurried on, trying to get ahead of Ginny before the tears burning behind her eyes fell. As much as she wanted to tell her to go away and leave her alone for even a few minutes Sam couldn't voice those words to Ginny. "Just stop."
Although Sam turned away from her, Ginny caught the movement and the expression on her face. "Sammy," she started, then hesitated. "Stop what?" Starting after Sam again, Ginny mentally scoffed at herself. What the hell was she doing chasing after the other girl? Clearly Sam didn't want her around. It was like Harry all over again. "Stop caring about you? Fucking fine. I'll be sure to get right on that."
"Fucking Merlin, Ginny!" Sam stomped her foot in frustration and yelled at the other girl, tossing her arms up angrily. "This isn't about you! Give me five fucking minutes! Why does that have to be so damn hard?!"
"Well, what is it about?" Ginny shot back, jamming her hands onto her hips. That was all she wanted to know, what it was that had put Sam into this mood again, so she could hopefully go out and deal with it.
"My mum is dead, Ginny!" Sam shouted, no longer worried about tears or smoking. "That's what this is fucking about!" With a sob, Sam's hand went to her mouth, realising what she'd said only after the words had come out, and looked at the other girl with an expression of panic.
Ginny's jaw dropped and she froze, half of her wanting to jump back. She knew this moment had been coming, but she hadn't expected it just then. It wasn't that she'd forgotten about Sam's mum, she just hadn't thought that that was what was behind this new shift in emotions. "Oh, Sammy," she managed, coming to her senses after a moment and moving towards Sam, taking the other girl into her arms. "Oh Sammy, baby, I'm so sorry."
Sam collapsed into Ginny's arms, wrapping her own around the redhead's neck for support and buried her face in her neck. She'd never voiced the thought before. It had drifted into her head on more than one occasion but guilt and forced hope had pushed it aside every time. But every day that had passed with no word just piled on top of the already depressing evidence until it wasn't hope she clung to but denial. But actually saying it.... It was simultaneously relieving and frightening and depressing. Unable to choke out words, Sam clung tightly to Ginny until her sobs eased.
Holding Sam tightly, Ginny inched them out of the middle of the hallway and onto a window ledge. She felt horrible, there weren't words to express the amount of guilt rushing through her body. She'd just thought Sam had maybe had an arguement with someone or ... anything but this. She let Sam cling to her, stroking her back and murmuring soothing sounds into her hair, her heart aching for the other girl.
She didn't know how long they stayed there; it was late enough that no one passed them, for which Ginny was eternally grateful. She would have quite happily killed anyone that gave Sam so much as a sideways glance. Noticing Sam's sobbing slowing, Ginny pulled back slightly, her voice still soft. "Do you want to go back to the dorm, Sammy baby?" She asked, then hastened to continue, lest Sam think she was hurrying along her grief. "Or the Room? Or anywhere? Or we can stay here, anything you want, baby. I promise I'll stay with you wherever you want to go, I love you."
The minutes blurred together for Sam. She was vaguely aware when Ginny pulled her aside and knew that they must have been sitting for some degree of time since she'd actually managed to cry herself out, but it had really only seemed like moments. "Yeah," she sniffed, nodding and looking at Ginny with puffy, red-eyes. "I...can we just go to bed?" She didn't want to talk or deal, her mind was still reeling from what'd she'd just said, in fact. And sleeping seemed the easiest and most inviting choice.
"Anything, baby." Ginny held Sam tightly for a few moments, ducking her head to press gentle kisses against both of her eyes, before standing and holding out her hands for the other girl. Once Sam was standing, Ginny's heart clenched again and she wrapped her arms around her. "I love you, Sammy." She said, her voice gentle. She gave Sam another, soft, lingering kiss, then wrapped her arm around the girl's waist, leading her back to the dorm.