"Right," Merton agreed. "Gideon doesn't shag as many people as he says he does, though," he added sagely, grinning. And Merton hadn't had anyone back for a while either, actually. But that was mostly because he'd been eating pudding with Linda.
He wrinkled his nose, shuddering. "I would put up garlic and crosses." Which might not work. Maybe he should get silver bullets and stakes and big windows with lots of light. "I didn't burn it down. It was just sort of blackened," Merton protested. "And because they've got extra babies in China so they drown them. Or something like that. I saw something on the telly once." Or maybe they'd been talking about puppies in Australia. It was hard to remember. "It was sad though. It was a charity advert. I sent them money." Or he'd told Leigh to, anyway.