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Tweak says, "That's not love. That's hate."

A Cattermole (alfiecat) wrote in wished,
@ 2009-11-15 12:43:00

Entry tags:

!1997: 11, !complete, alfred cattermole, drew summers

Who: Alfie and Drew
What: Talking
Where: 6th Year Hufflepuff Boy's Dorm
When: Thursday night after this.
Warnings: TBA

Alfie tramped up the stairs to the dorm feeling a little bit like he was about to be hanged or something. He figured Drew would be angry with him for not telling him about it first, maybe. He also knew the other boy's moods, and how hyper and loud he could be, and he didn't know if he really could deal with that sort of reaction to what he wanted to talk about. But Drew was... like that. And Alfie didn't know anyone else who was, really. And Drew had been his mate since first year even if they were pretty different, and he knew that he could trust the other boy. Still, it wasn't something he really liked admitting to, even if he had to talk about it to figure it out.

When he came into the room, he looked around just to be sure the others were out, then he went and sat on the edge of Drew's bed, prodding him a little. "Hey."

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summers_here
2009-11-15 07:47 pm UTC (link)

Drew was sprawled out on his bed, looking up at the canopy above him, hands folded over his tummy. He was a little subdued for once, which wasn't really unusual considering the recent events, but still unusual for him. Apart from the fact that Dumbledore was gone was the feeling of insecurity... things were safe and normal with Dumbledore around, but with him gone... the security was gone.

He wanted someone to lose himself in, someone to sleep with, someone he could have fun with and forget that serious stuff was happening in the world.

He looked round and smiled when he saw Alfie though, sitting up and smiling. "Hey Alfieface, what's up?"

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alfiecat
2009-11-15 07:49 pm UTC (link)

"Hey," Alfie said again, and it wasn't the usual response from Drew he was used to, so he frowned at his friend, kicking off his shoes and then turning so that he was sitting with his back against the footboard of the bed.

"Everything okay?" It was easier for him to ask than to start in on what he'd wanted to talk about, anyway. With any luck Drew would go on for hours about something bothering him, and Alfie would never get to it at all.

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	summers_here 2009-11-15 08:01 pm UTC (link)
	Drew turned about and crawled up beside Alfie, grinning and flopping himself down beside his friend, although not lying against him. "It was with me, what's up with you?" he asked, aware that his friend had something heavy to divulge and more than ready to listen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alfiecat 2009-11-15 08:03 pm UTC (link)
	The look on Alfie's face was decidedly disappointed. He cleared his throat, then frowned. "You sure nothing's wrong?" Because it would be easier, so much easier, if his friend was having some problem he could talk to him about instead. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	summers_here 2009-11-15 08:11 pm UTC (link)
	Drew gave Alfie a look and then spiderwalked his fingers over to Alfie's hand, poking at it as he wasn't sure if a handhold would be welcome. "Nothing's wrong." he said, nodding. "But what's wrong with you? You can't squirm away from me y'know." he said, teasing gently. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alfiecat 2009-11-15 08:28 pm UTC (link)
	"I know," Alfie answered, and it sounded a little defeated. A moment later he was sitting up a little straighter against the bedpost as he shrugged. "Okay, so ... you can't talk to anyone about this, right? Not Austin or Cadwallader or anyone. Except Ellie, because she knows, but.... you know?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	summers_here 2009-11-16 12:27 pm UTC (link)
	Drew watched Alfie draw himself up with big eyes as he started to speak, wondering what sort of awful secret Alfie was about to tell him and if he'd be able to deal with it when he heard. He nodded. "I won't tell anyone, promise..." he said, hungry to know what the matter was and wanting so badly to help. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alfiecat 2009-11-17 02:27 am UTC (link)
	Alfie knew he could trust Drew. He just wasn't sure... He'd already talked to Ellie and to Aud about it, but talking to another bloke was different, somehow. Made it even more real. "Um." He pushed on, and really it was sort of brave of him. "You know Julien Dorny? From class?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	summers_here 2009-11-17 10:37 pm UTC (link)
	"Dorny? Dorny... oh, Jules? Ravenclaw, skinny, kinda cute but kinda dormousey?" he asked. He knew most of the guys in his classes just through playing 'hot or not' games when he got bored in class. "What about him?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alfiecat 2009-11-17 11:17 pm UTC (link)
	"Yeah, him...." Alfie was caught for a second, trying to think about it. "You think he's dormousey?" Alfie wasn't even really sure what that meant, but he was pretty sure somehow that he didn't like people calling Julien that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	summers_here 2009-11-17 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	Drew shrugged. "Well, he's quiet and bookish and he wouldn't say boo to a goose. He's one of those kids that you don't really notice cause they don't want you to notice them, y'know? But he's pretty if you get past the... socially awkward thing." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alfiecat 2009-11-17 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	"I guess..." Alfie noticed him. Every time he was within a hundred feet of the boy it was like he could feel him around... but he hadn't, before this year, so he supposed that Drew was right about it. "Um. Well. I - " And he stopped again, then said in a rush, "Isortofosnoggedhimandnowhehatesme." He didn't meet his friend's eyes when he said it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	summers_here 2009-11-17 11:38 pm UTC (link)
	"Woah!" Drew said, translating the rush of words easily as he was used to talking at that speed himself. "Sort of snogged him? How do you sort of snog someone? and why does he hate you now, he never came off as phobic... do I have to uhm... cut a bitch?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

alfiecat
2009-11-17 11:43 pm UTC (link)

Alfie didn't even know what that meant, but he was used to it with Drew - the other boy was full of pop culture things that he just never knew, or noticed. He did what he usually did, and just went on.

"It was that night we were all worried about the Ministry, when we didn't know what had happened and I didn't know if my mum and my dad were alright. He and I were talking and... it was an accident, I swear, but then I was kissing him and he was nice about it and all and let me for a little and ... I don't know, it was just nice. I mean, it wasn't like kissing Evie was at all, and .... " Alfie made a helpless sort of gesture with his hands, trailing off again.

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summers_here
2009-11-17 11:50 pm UTC (link)

He might have had a bit of a motor mouth and a reputation for being perma-hyper, but Drew was a good enough friend that he knew when to shut up and listen, and that's exactly what he did as Alfie stumbled through his explanation.

He flinched a little at being reminded of the Ministry - he couldn't pretend it wasn't happening if people spoke about it after all - but he listened on. "So you kissed him and he kissed you back?" Drew asked, making sure. "So... then what?" He should have been more surprised that Alfie had wanted to kiss another boy, but he'd made out with enough 'straight' guys to not be surprised by revelations like that. He didn't want Alfie to feel awkward either.

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alfiecat
2009-11-17 11:56 pm UTC (link)

Alfie tried to answer, but the question shook him a little. "I kissed him," He said again, then shook his head with a little groan and pressed his fists to his eyes for a second, frustrated. "No, he didn't kiss me back. Or he did... I don't know. He was all frozen, I guess, and then maybe I made him or something. I was doing most of the kissing, you know. It was... It was so..." Raw. Heartpounding. Good.

But not for Julien. "He pushed me off, after a minute. And he was talking about taking advantage and I know I was talking advantage...."

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summers_here
2009-11-18 12:01 am UTC (link)

Drew tried to make sense of this but he was looking increasingly confused about what had happened. In his experience, boys who didn't want to kiss you didn't usually kiss back while freezing.

"I don't think you MADE him kiss you Alfcakes, that's not really possible unless you had him under Imperius or something, and what did he say about taking advantage? I know you, and I know you wouldn't do something like that, so if he got it into your head that you did, well..." he might have been short but he was scrappy in a fight and used to fighting and it wasn't as if Dorny looked like he could put up a fight.

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alfiecat
2009-11-18 12:04 am UTC (link)

Alfie shrugged and dropped his hands to his lap again, "I don't know. He's my mate, and he was there, and ... " But hadn't Julien kissed him first? He was sure - except then he'd taken it over, and if it had been up to him he'd have pressed the boy down onto that sofa and snogged him for hours... Which was supposed to be disgusting. So why couldn't he stop thinking about it. And why did even thinking about it make his heart beat faster. Make him start to get hard...

"It doesn't matter." He said quickly, as if that would put the last word on it. "I'm dating Audrey now."

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	summers_here 2009-11-18 12:08 am UTC (link)
	"You don't remember what he said about it? Cause I'm gonna have words with him if he told you anything fucked up, I know you're a good guy, I'm not having anyone going around saying otherwise." And then his righteous anger burned off a little. "Alfiecakes..." he said softly. "If it doesn't matter then why did you need to talk about it so bad?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alfiecat 2009-11-18 12:10 am UTC (link)
	Alfie looked at him like that was supposed to be obvious. "I want to know how to make him be my mate again!" And how to not look at him and want to touch him, but he wasn't going to say that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	summers_here 2009-11-18 12:13 am UTC (link)
	Drew held up his hands to show he was harmless. "You didn't finish the story... you said he said something about taking advantage? And then what happened?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alfiecat 2009-11-18 12:24 am UTC (link)
	"Um..." Alfie made another helpless gesture, then sighed. "I ran off." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	summers_here 2009-11-18 12:25 am UTC (link)
	"Ah..." Drew said, looking puzzled. "So... when did he say he hates you?" he asked carefully, like coming up on a wounded cat. Or his own cat. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alfiecat 2009-11-18 12:33 am UTC (link)
	"He didn't..." Alfie shrugged again, letting his head fall back against the column of the bedpost. "He just hasn't talked to me since then, except to write and say he was sure I lied to Ellie when I told her about it, because she wanted to talk to him too." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	summers_here 2009-11-18 12:36 am UTC (link)
	"What? What made him think you lied to Ellie?" This was getting more and more confusing as the conversation went on, but Drew hung on gamely, wanting to get to the bottom of this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)