Alfie's hand somehow found the back of Julien's neck and he tried to pull him back into the kiss, maybe clinging a little desperately as he tried, when Julien pulled away. It had just felt so damn good, and everything else right now was horrible and terrifying and that had just felt like ... like summer, or light, or laughing. There in the middle of all of it.
But then Julien was talking, stammering over his words, and Alfie didn't hear all of it over how hard his heart was suddenly pounding but he heard 'taking advantage' and he heard that they shouldn't, and he heard that he was thinking right - and it was like ice water. Like Julien had slapped him. And he let go of him suddenly and jumped up, shaking, from the sofa like he'd been stabbed.