His very, very first kiss and Alfie was just kissing back, trying to deepen it. Julien had no idea what he was doing, didn't know if Alfie did, only knew that his friend(?) had kissed a girl before and did he match up to it, was he worse, why was Alfie even kissing him, he couldn't be interested in him, surely, not, not Alfie and, not with how different they were, with how attractive and sweet and funny and kind Alfie was... Julien pulled back looking a little bit startled, his tongue immediately going to lick his lips where he could still taste Alfie against them.
"I-I'm sorry." he stammered, but didn't let go. "We shouldn't.. you, you're upset and I, I'm taking advantage of it and, and..." and something else, something other than how badly he wanted to kiss Alfie again, even if he was crap at it. "You can't be thinking right, it's just you're upset and I'm comforting you and that's all..." Right? Right... Alfie would never be attracted to him.