In a move which will no doubt shock many in the Wizarding world, Albus Dumbledore, a Hogwarts fixture for nearly sixty years, announced this morning his immediate retirement from the post of Hogwarts Headmaster. Effective immediately, Hogwarts Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall will be taking over the title of Headmistress. Dumbledore announced his plans to remain at Hogwarts throughout the year to ease the transition and offer his advice and aid to the new Headmistress.
Dumbledore also resigned his positions as Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, where his successor has yet to be named. He cites the return of He Who Must Not Be Named, and a desire to devote more time to knitting and Gobstones as his reason for choosing to retire. Sources close to Hogwarts, however, claim that Albus' health is in question. In fact, this morning's announcement comes amid a flurry of rumors that Dumbledore has been suffering from an as of yet unexplained illness which is leaving the Order of Merlin, First Class recipient and Grand Sorcerer unable to continue in his leadership role.
The Daily Prophet has long stood among the first to bring to light Dumbledore's increasingly erratic behavior and dubious mental state, and applaud him for taking what has long seemed to us to be a necessary step in the continued betterment of the educational standards at Hogwarts. Dumbledore is most famous for his defeat of the dark wizard, Grindelwald. Recent years have shown him championing Harry Potter, the infamous Boy Who Lived, who has shown equally disturbing signs of suspicious behavior and instability. Dumbledore is widely regarded as the most powerful wizard of our time, but his latter years have been surrounded by controversy and rumors.
Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
With McGonagall's advancement, several other changes are coming to Hogwarts. Severus Snape, Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts and Head of Slytherin House, will be stepping into the position vacated by McGonagall and serving, along with his other roles, as Deputy Headmaster for the school.
There has been no report yet as to who will be filling the roles of Professor of Transfiguration or Head of Gryffindor House.
McGonagall has not yet responded to our requests to outline the changes she plans to institute as Headmistress, issuing only a brief statement that claims her intent is to continue the tradition of Dumbledore's excellent leadership, and that any changes would be in the best interest of all concerned.
In related news, another Hogwarts fixture will not be returning to the school in his traditional capacity. History of Magic Professor Cuthbert Binns, who died of old age in 1947, has been forced by the Ministry of Magic's Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to retire his teaching post. "This request is no surprise," remarks a representative of that department's Spirit Division, "as 1814's Treatise on Spirit Rights clearly denotes that a spirit must resign from his or her job no more than fifty years following their date of death." Binns will be replaced by Radolphus Pittiman, noted historian and biographer.
The positions of Professor of Care of Magical Creatures, Professor of Muggle Studies, and Groundskeeper will also be filled by new faces, owing to the resignations of Professors Rubeus Hagrid and Charity Burbage. It is the hope of this reporter that these changes are just the beginning, and herald a new age in educational excellence and standards.