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Greg Goyle ([info]a_reticent_git) wrote in [info]wished,
@ 2010-11-27 09:31:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!2003:11, !incomplete, gregory goyle, theodore nott

Who: Greg and Theo
What: A moment of comforting
When: Saturday morning, November 27
Where: The caretaker's hut
Status: closed, complete
Rating: From an R to a NC-17 there abouts for mention of child abuse


The snow covered the ground but Greg had hopped on the broom, zippy quickly from the entrance of the school to fly around towards his home. The air was cold with a low fog hovering and Greg was shivering by the time he arrived at the door. He had a container of hot porridge wrapped in his cloak, and he stamped his feet before he opened the door to enter.

The hut was still warm in the one large room but Greg wasn't sure how warm it was in their bedroom. He moved to the counter and quickly had water going, setting the porridge on the tray. He had eaten in the castle, and been helping Filtch with some business but he knew he could put it off. It was Saturday and he had earlier had a mind to take Theo into Hogsmeade.

After a few minutes, with a loaded tray of hot tea and porridge, sugar and cream, Greg carried the tray into the bed room. He set it down and shivered, "Damn if it don't get cold in here," he said as he sat.

"Theo? I'm here."



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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-27 11:13 pm UTC (link)
Greg caught Theo's glance but he pretended not to see it. Any interest Theo had in sex had not ended as well as Greg had liked; looking was definitely a good sign. Greg moved towards the bed, book in hand and he sat down near Theo. He made a quick decision and smoothly shed his shirt, his tight abs flexing slightly as he leaned in to Theo. He carefully kissed the other man again, and then turned to lie back on the bed.

"You ought to at least give the porridge a taste. Three bites and then more kissing if you prefer," he said as he tried to not act concerned. It was lear trickery he knew, but he had to get Theo to at least try eating.

He was lying back on the bed, holding the book up as he pretended to read, his other hand reaching into his pants again to stroke himself, hoping he'd convinced Theo to eat first, then turn and snog him next.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 12:11 am UTC (link)
The only reason Theo didn't lean in towards Greg as the boy sat was because he was watching him pull off his shirt, exposing his tattoo'd, work-shaped chest, a place that Theo loved to lean against to sleep. He returned the kiss and he really must have been tired as he couldn't protest or stage a fight over the porridge, just picked up the spoon like it was poisonous to hold and painstakingly choked down three slow, laborious mouthfuls.

He turned the spoon over to show that he'd finished as he lay it down in the bowl, turning to see Greg touching at himself. He licked sticky porridge off his lips and then moved his hand tentatively, over Greg's moving hand but on top of the pants too, his eyes intent on their hands but somehow not there too.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 12:21 am UTC (link)
Greg set the book aside as he watched Theo eat, and he found a large smile spreading across his face, even as he kept stroking himself. There was something so incredibly satisfying, watching Theo obey him for his own good.

The light weight of Theo's hand was pleasant, his own hand still moving as he watched Theo's fixed gaze. The book was immediately discarded and with his free hand, Greg tugged the boxers off his hips, lifting up so that they slipped just down on his upper thighs. His hand was still there, showing just what kind of mood Greg was in, and he waited, hoping that Theo would want to taste other things.

He swallowed and then croaked, "I want more kisses, Theo. But I'm not gonna say where," he added, his own free hand now finding Theo's thigh, Greg's fingers stroking the skin there exposed from Theo's own boxers.

"You did so good," he added, wanting to be sure Theo knew how pleased he was with him for eating, "You should get a reward."

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 12:28 am UTC (link)
Theo didn't break out of whatever haunt he was under as Greg shifted to movee his boxers down, but he did seem a little more unsure, his hand just riding atop Greg's with little command from him.

His gaze dropped to where Greg started touching him and he swallowed a little, not sure if he was comfortable with this. Was he?

He looked back up in surprise at Greg's praise, because if anything was far off script it was that. "Reward?" he echoed quietly, unmoving apart from his hand on Greg's, pleased though that he had apparently done well.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 12:45 am UTC (link)
"Yes, a reward. When one does good, a reward is in order," he said as he moved his hand onto himself a bit more and then let go. He sat up, and leaned over to kiss Theo's lips lightly at first, before he pulled back to follow Theo's gaze down to where his hand had just been.

"A reward. Of your choosing of course. What would you wish for if you could have anything?" Greg asked, his boxers still at his thighs. He put a hand back to the spot he'd been touching, stroking the inside of Theo's thigh tenderly. The thought of the ghost was not present at the moment; Greg knew he'd try again later, to determine what had happened. For now, he was taking advantage of the moment.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 12:58 am UTC (link)
Theo smiled a little happy grin, pleased that he'd been a good boy and then pleased to get a kiss too (even though he couldn't remember what it was that he'd done anymore).

"Hmm..." he mused over the question, distracted when Greg's hand moved over his leg again, making Theo shiver in a way that wasn't from cold. "To be safe." he said softly.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 01:30 am UTC (link)
Greg almost gaped at that sweet grin that moved over Theo's face; his boyfriend was utterly breathtaking when he was happy. And it make Greg lean in and kiss him again. His words were slightly sobering, "Safe. You are safe, Theo. I give you that, always."

He moved his hand more, his fingers sliding up to tease at the leg of the shorts, wishing Theo wanted more. If it was a lost cause, Greg would settle for book reading and cuddles but it seemed so possible. Theo's response was encouraging, and Greg leaned over to him and kissed him, "What else would you want? Couldn't I do something to you?"

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 02:46 am UTC (link)
Theo took yet another kiss with something like glee, but then he was trying to explain to that tone Greg had that he'd meant for them to be safe, them both, that there was a difference.

Greg's touch went higher and Theo had the sudden disturbing image of spidery cold fingers scuttling there and leaving bruises behind when Greg was kissing him and making him lose his train of thought. "Do to me? I'm yours." he said, confused like he couldn't make that question out. Greg could do as he wished.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 03:11 am UTC (link)
"People don't own people," Greg said, letting out a sigh as he felt the warmth of the room flow over him. His hand has on Theo's leg and he smoothed his fingers more on Theo's skin, mistaking the shiver for enjoyment at first.

"I like the idea of rewarding you with something that I can do right now," Greg said as he let his fingers move up Theo's pants even more. He found curls tangled there and he stroked what he found, much the way he'd stroked himself and exhaled happily.

"Or we can just read," he said as he continued his attentions.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 03:43 am UTC (link)
Greg's comment took Theo's mind to bad places, and he was grateful for the hand moving that drew him out of it, even though that made his chest twist uncomfortably too.

His breath caught like a rabbit in a snare as Greg's hand burrowed up further, stroking at him, and he looked back at his boyfriend with eyes big and conflicted. "I've been good." he said, like it was a protest or plea against what was happening. "I've been good." and then, something that he'd used to ask a long time ago before he'd learned that it didn't matter what he'd said or screamed or sobbed. "Please don't hurt me."

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 03:49 am UTC (link)
Greg's fingers slowed and he found himself holding his breath. This was a different response than he'd expected from Theo; it was on clearly emotion, and not good. But instead of stopping, Greg kept going, slowly.

"Theo," he said clearly, "Who did this to you before? Who punished you like this?" Greg asked, catching on that something big was happening that he needed to find out. He was afraid of what Theo would say but Greg needed to know, having been given a chance to understand something really important.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 03:56 am UTC (link)
The touch slowed and Theo's heart almost stopped because he'd never been heard before and he almost didn't know how to react... but then it came back and he was once again trembling, shivering under his skin in a way he couldn't hold back.

The question from Greg was like a punch in the stomach. Theo opened his mouth to reply but he couldn't and he didn't know why. He felt his throat seem to close up, felt his heart pound so hard in his chest that it almost hurt and he tried again to speak but choked on the words. "It... I... I..." he stammered but couldn't finish, his body stuck in some strange limbo between terror and elation, shaking his head as that hand burned in against his skin like all the other brands already there that no one else could see. "I've been good." he said, desperate. "Merlin, please, I've been good."

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 04:28 am UTC (link)
The flush of guilt spread from his neck up to his cheeks so that it almost felt like his eyes were turning red. Greg immediately stopped what he was doing, pulling out his hand and pulling back from Theo.

"Shit! Merlin, Theo! I'm sorry. Damn, I am so sorry!" he said as he stammered, feeling the utter fool. He knew he was ill equipped to handle most of the emotional crap that Theo had going on. Doing what he'd just done had been reckless and incredibly insensitive.

"I..I am sorry," he said again, even as he pulled at his drawers, shifting so that he wasn't touching Theo on the bed, afraid he would cause something again. He was scowling, furious at himself for trying something so stupid. He felt in that instant utter crap at taking care of Theo. But while he wanted to run, he stayed where he was on the bed, biting his lip and putting his hands on his thighs, squeezing them tight enough to make his fingers white.

Shit. Shit. Shit, was all he could think.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 04:33 am UTC (link)
The way Greg almost leapt from him as though he'd been burned had Theo cowering a little, not sure of what to expect, although Greg's following behaviour had him not knowing what to make of things.

He was being apologised to and no longer touched and he didn't know if this was going to make Greg angry or curse himself again but he couldn't help it, he had to ask; "You stopped?" Like he couldn't believe it, though he really couldn't. The leg of his shorts remained pushed up, leaving him flashing tantalisingly like a strip tease with any small movement, but he didn't want to touch anything to bring them down.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 04:39 am UTC (link)
Greg gave Theo a dumbfounded look, "Of course I stopped! I don't wanna do something to you that you think is a...a punishment! I only wanted you to like it..," he blurted, his eyes shifting from Theo's face to the skin and more that Theo was showing him.

He swallowed hard, "I shouldn't have kept it up as it was Theo! You wanted me to stop and I should have. That would just be..wrong," he said, "To...to force you," he added, his face turning redder still, "I am not a rapist, Theo," Greg grumbled, looking away in embarrassment.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 01:39 pm UTC (link)
Theo watched Greg like he was speaking another language. His mind wasn't where it should be and the things Greg was saying didn't fit into what he took for granted.

He saw the way Greg's eyes wandered down, and that made more sense to him than what Greg was saying. He spread his legs and laid back, although the last thing Greg said had him turning a little pale.

"You can." he said, swallowing. "It's allowed. 'Cause, 'cause that's what bad boys get, that's what they get, naughty little boys who don't listen, who eavesdrop under the table at daddy's parties, who get in the way and speak when they shouldn't and ruin everything, that's what they get, that's what they get." He stammered the explanation, didn't cry through it but his hand were locked against the bedsheets and still shaking.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 03:08 pm UTC (link)
Greg was still, listening to Theo's rantings and he finally caught a glimpse of what had happened. It was utterly dastardly. Greg had been punished and beaten by his father but never..assaulted.

Greg shifted and crawled across the bed to Theo's side, not touching his genitalia but instead putting a hand on his chest. "Its not allowed here, to hurt you Theo. You aren't bad. And that kind of punishment is not okay. You are safe here," Greg said quietly before leaned in close to offer him a kiss, "Safe from unwanted touches," Greg added sadly. He felt so sorrowful, for realizing this about Theo and for pushing him like he had.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 10:02 pm UTC (link)
Theo didn't say anything as Greg closed in on him, but his breathing sped up until his chest rose and fell like that of a mouse caught by a cat.

He froze when Greg touched him but shivered again when Greg tried to promise his safety. He'd never spoken about these things before, hadn't even acted as though he'd been through this at school, although the signs were there, if you'd been looking hard enough. He'd learned to hide it for so long that it had become a part of him, but his madness had let all his careful control go letting all the poison in his head out.

"He won't stop." he said, his voice quiet. He turned over to hide his face against Greg's chest, curling his knees up to his chest.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-28 10:42 pm UTC (link)
Greg put his arms about Theo,"He won't ever hurt you Theo. I promise you. I'll kill him before he does."

It did no good to persist in telling Theo the bastard was already dead. But the realization that sex had been used as a punishment, and forced sex from probably Theo's father was staggering. Greg wondered what it meant for their future; it was clear that it had devastating effects on his love interest.

Greg let out a small sigh, and lay down looking at Theo, his face sad for Theo and for himself.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-28 11:54 pm UTC (link)
Theo shivered in Greg's arms as though he were cold, though he reached to tug a little at Greg's arms like he was trying to pull him to safety. "No Greg, no, don't. You can't go up against him, please. I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want you to get hurt too, please. Please."

He reached out to smooth his thumb across Greg's mouth. "I'm sorry." he apologised, sounding almost lucid. "Don't be sad. I'm sorry." and he leant in for a chaste kiss.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-29 12:00 am UTC (link)
Greg moved to settle around Theo, giving another sigh, "I don't know if you can understand," he started, so sure Theo wouldn't get it, "But he really is gone. And until you let yourself, trust it, love, the bastard's going to have a hold over you. He was a right fucking bastard who should have his balls cut off and stuffed down his throat to gag on, for touching his only son like he did. It was wrong," Greg said, sitting up a bit so he could look at Theo better, "I mean, I don't even think the Dark Lord would have condoned such treatment, especially of a Pure-blood."

He accepted the kiss but his face remained sad, and he gave a small shake of his head, feeling defeated, and collapsing back on the bed, "It just means...," he said, speaking to the ceiling, "It means I should have figured this out ages ago. It all makes better sense now. I reach for you, to touch you and you flinch away. I don't know if there's anything we can do that won't immediately send you back to those moments," he said, frowning hard at the roof.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-29 01:26 pm UTC (link)
The minute that Greg started referring to Theo's father as 'gone', Theo was shaking his head in abject denial; Greg was right about the hold that Theo's dad had on him, but he'd lived for so long in fear of the man that the fear had just become as commonplace to him as any other everyday emotion, if not moreso. The way he was now he couldn't imagine how to live free of it.

He still shuddered when Greg spoke about it so plainly though.

"I'm sorry Greg, sorry, sorry, sorry..." he said, catching Greg's sadness and blaming himself.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-29 01:44 pm UTC (link)
Greg moved a hand around Theo, cuddling into him as he noted Theo's trembling, "Shhh honey. You must apologize. You did nothing wrong,"and he moved a hand to pull Theo more towards him. Greg needed the comfort and when it seemed like he was having no effect on Theo's shaking, he moved another arm around the thin boy, pulling him closer still.

"Its just you and me to face this and beat it. I just am maybe not the best choice for all of this. I am bullocks at being sensitive and I ache for you, Theo. I can't remember the last time I had sex," and he grew quieter,adding,"You should know it was with you," Greg admitted shyly.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-29 07:37 pm UTC (link)
"I tried..." he said, because he had, tried so hard not to be bad so that the awful thing wouldn't happen to him, although it rarely made a difference.

He found himself pulled in against Greg's chest but didn't fight it, finding the cuddle comforting more than uncomfortable.

He reached and took Greg's hand in his, looking solemnly back at Greg. "Are you going to leave too." he stated more than asked, a kind of dead resignation in those mad eyes.

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[info]a_reticent_git
2010-11-30 04:33 am UTC (link)
"No, no more apologies. Like I said, you've done nothing wrong, Theo," Greg said, not sure if he was as clear as he'd meant to be. Leave it to me to probably make Theo feel worse by wording it wrong, he thought to himself as he lay back again. He loosened his grip on Theo, recognizing that he was probably being a bit too aggressive with the thinner boy.

The room was still warm, and Greg thought he could hear the creaking and crackling of a fire, still warm in the grate in the other room. He turned his head to Theo's as his hand was grasped, and he met the other boy's solemn look.

"What? What kind of nonsense are you talking about?! Why would I leave you now Theo? Because you've been...mucked about with? It doesn't change how I feel about you, love," he said, his hand coming up to smooth across Theo's head and hair, "You are the one that holds my heart, Merlin knows why. I went through bloody hell to get you out of the place. I'm not leaving you. You're in my head, right?"

He wanted to kiss the other boy, to offer some comfort but he was leery that his kiss would only trigger fear in his boyfriend. And while he was hoping around from topic to topic, he was hoping that he was making some sort of sense to Theo.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-11-30 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Theo waited for the answer to his question with an oddly aware kind of anticipation; he knew what he'd asked and he knew, in as much as he could, that what he'd just asked was a very important question to both of them.

He should have known what Greg's answer would be but he wasn't the person he should have been anymore. That boy wouldn't have told Greg anything about what had happened to him because it wouldn't have come up, unless it was through accident or sleep. That boy had known how to seperate consenual sex from punishment.

He watched Greg's face as the other replied, feeling bad for having caused that kind of pain because he hadn't meant to seem as though he doubted Greg; he didn't. He doubted his own worth.

He tilted his head in towards Greg's gentle hands as they petted the words into him, hitting on his insecurity like a hammer on a nail and then speaking to him in a way that made perfect sense, even if Theo had been less lucid. The smile he gave Greg back was gentle.

"Yes, in your head. And not making it messy." He clasped Greg's hand in his and held it against Greg's chest. "I'll look after this heart." he said fiercely. "I'll protect it. Keep it safe." He curled up closer and in against Greg's chest, hands still clasped.

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