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Draco Malfoy ([info]dracowished) wrote in [info]wished,
@ 2010-10-07 19:01:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!incomplete, astoria greengrass, draco malfoy

Who: Draco and Astoria
What: Unexpected Visits, Secrets Come Out
When: Tonight
Where: Her flat
Rating/Warning: TBA



Draco was, to put it in a word, bored. It wasn't a new feeling, but he didn't have many options to fill the gap in his social life. None that he wanted, at any rate. What old friends would he care to catch up with? What books did he own that he hadn't read? He had to check on Goyle and Nott, but talking to either of them would be a headache and talking to Snape would be far worse.

And he didn't think about those options all that much, anyway, when Astoria was home, he hoped, and he'd far rather spend his time with her. Perhaps he should have owled beforehand, or knocked when he arrived. As it was, he let himself in with his spare key and searched the rooms for her, finding her at her desk, engrossed in writing something. So engrossed she apparently hadn't heard him come in.


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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 12:13 am UTC (link)
She was indeed, so wrapped in what she was working on that she didn't hear Draco come into the room, much less her flat. She was in her spare room, the one she usually kept closed when Draco was over, usually because that was where she locked the cats up in when Draco was over and they were being misbehaved. The room was, compared to the rest of Astoria's home, almost cluttered. One solid wall was filled with bookshelves, books full of a myriad of subjects from travel to myths, to history and geography, muggle books on gadgets, wizarding books on love spells and poisons, and everything in between. The walls were a pale, pretty green, and one section had a large corkboard on it, covered in posters and newspaper clippings. The room was dark except for a bright lamp over on the desk. The desk was a great heavy beast of a antique, that sat in front of the window on an opposite wall, currently covered over in paper, some of it written on, a great deal of it crumpled up and discarded. Between the shelves and the desk against the far wall opposite the door, an oversized cushion that any Muggle would recognize as a beanbag was serving as a cat bed, all of the felines curled up and blinking sleepily at Draco, while a large carpeted cat tree that had quite a lot of signs of use on it cast shadows in the dim room.

Astoria sat in the warm glow of the lamp in the middle of all this unusual chaos, perched on an oversized, overstuffed chair that greatly resembled the ones that had been the prime seats of choice in the Slytherin common room at one time, hunched over a stack of parchment she was furiously scribbling on, murmuring under her breath, as she occasionally reached over to help herself to a bowl of strawberry slices, her fingertips stained red from the juice. She clearly wasn't expecting company, in a pair of grey sweatpants and a darker grey shirt that was fairly clearly one of Draco's from the way it fit her.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 12:20 am UTC (link)
Draco could have announced himself, but all he saw was her hand dipping out every now and then for a berry, and he wondered just what it was that was so focusing that she couldn't hear him as he entered, couldn't sense someone was with her. That was dangerous, one part of his brain said, and the other thought she was rather... well, adorable.

He was carefully quiet as he moved to stand behind the chair, watching her without reading what she was writing for a moment, just looking at her, and then finally to the parchment. After a moment he smirked a bit, and asked, "And just who's bosoms are heaving? And what is he doing with his wand?"

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 12:26 am UTC (link)
Astoria, simply stated, freaked. She let out a surprised shriek when she heard his voice, whirling around and jumping out of her chair, which left her nearly sitting on her desk. If Draco thought that the sight of his face was going to reassure her any, he was completely wrong, as her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed guiltily and she began to desperately try to scramble and cover up the paper she'd been writing on, letting out some rather un-Astoria-like curses as her berry-stained fingers left marks on the parchment. Her eyes darted guiltily to the bulletin board and then back to Draco, as she tried to shove the papers behind her back as if they'd never existed.

"You... I.... How.... You didn't tell me you were coming over!" she panted, trying to sound angry about it, which was ridiculous, as she'd never expected him to give her warning in the past. He just... usually did. "Nothing. It's... nothing." Which may very well be the very first lie she'd ever told him. And badly.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 12:30 am UTC (link)
Draco had been amused, but that amusement faded at the lie. He knew he'd startled her, he'd have even apologized, except that he didn't need to be a trained in occlumency and legilimency to know that she'd lied to him - it was obvious in every bit of her, clear in her eyes.

"Astoria - " he said, carefully, though there was something sharp under it that was never there when he spoke to her, only when he spoke to others. He never expected her to lie to him, though, when he always expected it from others.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 12:34 am UTC (link)
Astoria winced, hearing the sharp tone, recognizing it, and not at all liking it directed at her. Still, she wouldn't be who she was if she let him get away with it, either. She raised her chin up, narrowing her eyes a little. "Draco," she said, just as carefully, not quite mocking, but clearly not liking his tone. Truth be told, she'd wanted to tell him, had tried to find some way to tell him, so many times, but it never seemed to be the right time.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her still frantically beating heart. The cats had beat a hasty retreat when she'd shrieked anyways, or she'd consider siccing them on him for a distraction. "It's nothing... important," she hedged, instead. It wasn't quite as much of a lie. It was terribly important to her. She just suspected Draco wouldn't feel the same way, no matter how much she'd like to think otherwise.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 12:37 am UTC (link)
"Important enough for you to nearly brain yourself jumping and then hide those papers as if I'd discovered you writing love letters to other me..." He trailed off as that idea formed, and his eyes narrowed a bit in fury. But he didn't really believe that was what he'd interrupted.

Still, her reaction... What could it be to make her nervous like that? Make her look that guilty?

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 12:40 am UTC (link)
That accusation made her furious and it showed. "As if I'd ever," she said hotly, indignant that he'd even entertained the thought for a second. "As if I'd ever looked at another man for a second since I fell in love with you," she said, so upset that he'd even suspect her of that, that she was suddenly shaking with it, her worry about him discovering her writing forgotten. "How dare you even let that cross your mind!"

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 12:42 am UTC (link)
"Then how dare you lie to me? What else am I meant to think?" He spat the words back out at her, his own anger flaring up in the face of hers.

But just as quickly as it flared, he pulled it back. Astoria was, when it came to it, the one thing that he refused to lose because of his own attitude. "I didn't believe that. I didn't. But what the devil were you doing that you're so bloody guilty for?"

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 12:52 am UTC (link)
She glared at him, not entirely sure she'd forgiven him for the implied accusation. Still, he had a point. "One lie in six years is hardly a sin," she said mulishly, but she clearly didn't mean it. "Especially since it's.... Oh bollocks," she said with a sigh.

"I'm not guilty. I'm actually quite proud of it. I just... don't think you will be, and I'd rather not know that then tell you and know that for sure," she said, with typical female logic. She sighed again, fingers fluttering nervously to the stack of parchment on her desk again. "I just could never find the right way to tell you." She murmured a word and the overhead light came on, illuminating the room fully, and she gestured wearily to the bulletin board. "There. That will tell the tale better then anything, I suppose."

The board was full of posters, and clippings and reviews- all concerning one thing- the career and published works of one Sabrina Cauldron. Including a calender that had notes of deadlines and draft dates, and a letter from her editor that seemed to be imploring Astoria once again to reconsider her stance on making public appearances, or even just giving an interview or two.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 12:56 am UTC (link)
Draco's arms cross over his chest, but his eyes went to the bulletin board and he looked at her one more time befor ehe stalked across the room to read it over.

It took several minutes for it to click in his mind for exactly what those things collected meant.

He should have been angry - he was certainly annoyed and surprised. But when he opened his mouth to say something, he found himself laughing.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 01:01 am UTC (link)
Anger, annoyance, scorn. Any of these things would not have surprised Astoria. Draco was very much a product of his upbringing and his feelings on her working at Flourish and Blotts had made it perfectly clear how he viewed the plebian pasttime of having a job. Writing for Astoria, however, was not a job. It was a passion. A passion that Draco was... laughing at.

Of all the reactions she could have anticipated, this was not one of them. She also couldn't have predicted how much it hurt. She poured so much of herself into these books, even if they were "silly romance" novels, so much of what she felt and cherished with him and he was... laughing at her.

"Oh," she gasped, heartbroken at the sound of his laughter, her anger forgotten as she suddenly rushed past him to leave the room.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 01:14 am UTC (link)
Draco couldn't stop the laughter. He'd been so worried, and this was what she was hiding? That she wrote silly little novels about women with heaving breasts and wizards who had to save them from peril? Not that he'd ever read any of them - but honestly, it was ridiculous. "I didn't - " he started, still laughing, but then she was rushing past him and he started to get the feeling that he'd upset her, somehow.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 01:18 am UTC (link)
She ignored, him, rushing out the door and letting it slam shut behind her, going to her room and slamming that one behind her as well. Astoria rarely indulged in hysterics or crying fits. She was a no-nonsense sort of girl, but this- this had been the only thing she'd ever done just for herself and while she'd known it was idealistic of her, she'd hoped, really hoped that Draco would understand. Or at least try to.

It hurt to think that maybe West had been right all along about Draco and how he felt about her. Maybe she was dooming herself to being nothing but a trophy wife after all. Could she have been wrong about them, all this time? Oh that hurt, that was unbearable, and she buried her face in her pillows, unable to help the tears. Even as upset as she was, crying, Astoria didn't sob, just curled up tightly and silently, shoulders shaking as quite a few dreams and ideals died an unexpected death.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 01:22 am UTC (link)
Draco realized after the second door slammed that he really had found the line, and he pursed his lips and had to wait until the urge to laugh had completely passed before he ventured to follow her to the bedroom, knocking on the closed door.

"Astoria," he said through the door, not coming in, "I shouldn't have laughed." Except, he could barely keep from starting again, now that he thought about it.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 01:25 am UTC (link)
She didn't want him to know he'd made her cry. He'd never made her cry before. She'd cried for him, or for herself, but never because of him. She'd never wanted him to feel bad for hurting her.

He'd laughed at her and here she was, still trying to be careful of his feelings! Pathetic.

She sniffled, trying to stem the tears, but they just wouldn't stop. It was impossible to hide the fact she was crying when she replied anyways, her voice thick with tears and upset. "Go away." she managed, before she buried herself back in the pillows.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 01:28 am UTC (link)
Draco rolled his eyes, but he could hear something in her voice that made any desire to laugh disappear. Was she crying. He'd made her cry?

"I'm not going to do that," he said after a moment. "So you can let me in, or I can live here in the hallway."

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 01:31 am UTC (link)
"I hope the hallway is very comfortable, then." she said, but she was muffled by the pillows and the closed door. "It's not locked," she finally said, after another long moment. She'd never locked a door against him in her life. She didn't particularly want to see his face and see him laughing at her again, but it never even occurred to her to keep him out.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 01:35 am UTC (link)
"Was that an invitation?" Draco wasn't going to barge in if she wanted to keep him out, but his hand was already on the doorknob, and he didn't really intend of staying in the hallway, particularly if she was crying.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 01:40 am UTC (link)
"Oh do what you want, you always do," she said, still crying, and exasperated as well. How on earth had she ever thought this was going to wok. He was going to try to make her stop writing, she just knew it. And she honestly didn't know what she'd do if he tried. The idea of it, of having to choose between him and writing, just set her off crying harder, the sobs she'd been trying to hold back escaping.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-08 01:50 am UTC (link)
He almost stayed where he was, but he heard something from the other side of the door that had him barging in anyway - and it was worse than he thought, she was hiding there inside of herself and sobbing, and he was struck speechless for a moment. He wanted to kill someone for hurting her - and then the person he knew that anger had to be aimed at was himself. It was a remarkably helpless feeling.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-08 01:56 am UTC (link)
She didn't move and she certainly didn't lift her head so he could see how red-faced and blotchy she was, she just curled up a little tighter, trying to get herself under control. After a few more heart-wrenching sobs, she manged to quiet those at least, even though the tears kept falling. "I didn't want him to be right," she cried softly. "I wanted him to be wrong, I wanted to think you'd understand," she said, but that just made her cry more and she stopped talking before she lost it again.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-09 01:50 am UTC (link)
"Who?" Draco said, because all he managed to pull out of that was that she was talking about a man who wasn't him, which irked him more than he wanted to admit at the moment. "And about what? Honestly, Astoria, I'm sorry...." Though he still wasn't entirely sure what he was sorry for, other than making her cry. He did move to sit by her on the bed, just beside her shoulders, his fingers awkwardly finding her hair and stroking softly.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-09 01:57 am UTC (link)
"West," she hiccuped. "About how you'd react. I just didn't think you'd laugh at me!" she said, accusation and heartbreak in her voice. "Roll your eyes, be annoyed, maybe. but never laugh at me," she said. She opened her eyes slowly, wiping at the tears, the sparkle of the ring on her left hand catching her eye and for a moment she glared at it balefully, fingers flexing like she was giving serious thought of taking it off and flinging it across the room.

She didn't want to take comfort in his touch or his nearness, but old habits were hard to break. "Sorry for what," she asked suspiciously, knowing him too well.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-09 02:01 am UTC (link)
And he'd promised never to look into her mind, but damned if he wasn't tempted just now to find out what answer would get him out of this the fastest. He stopped himself, but just barely.

"For laughing," he said immediately, his fingers still sliding through her hair. Goddamn West Harper. He hated him with a hatred usually reserved for former Death Eaters and men who had held his life in their hands at some point or another. "I'm sorry, Mouse..." He infused that pet name with all the fondness he could muster. "It was only that I was expecting something so much worse from your reaction to being caught."

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-09 02:06 am UTC (link)
She sniffed again, as if she wasn't quite sure she believed him, but she at least turned her head to look at him. Her lashes were spiked with tears and her eyes red, but she even managed to cry prettily, although she'd never agree to that fact. "As if I'd keep anything terribly huge from you in the first place. You'd think, by now, you'd know better," she glared at him, turning away again, but she didn't pull away from his touch either. "So you weren't laughing because you think it's stupid or ridiculous?" she asked cautiously. "You're not going to... ask me to stop, are you?" She bit her bottom lip, nearly holding her breath waiting for the answer.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-09 02:39 am UTC (link)
He did think it was stupid and ridiculous, and a part of him that hated the idea of her doing anything also hated the idea of not asking her to stop.

But, Draco Malfoy was not an idiot, and he could take her tone and the questions for what they were. He knew how to read her better than he could read anyone, and that was without his occlumency ability.

"I'm not going to ask you to stop," he assured her, and he could concede to this one because right now he'd fund the damn things if she'd just stop crying. "Mouse, love, look at me..."

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-09 02:46 am UTC (link)
She hesitated, some tiny little part of her giving it the extra five seconds that said she was only doing it because she wanted to and not because he told her to. But it was hard to resist him when he called her that pet name and she could hear the concern in his voice. She sighed heavily and rolled over slowly, to look up at him.

She brushed her hair out of her face, trying to wipe away the tears as if somehow it would mean he hadn't seen her cry. She was still looking at him suspiciously though. "You're going to guilt me into quitting then? Talk about expectations and standards, even though I've been doing it for years and only one other person besides my editor ever knew?"

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-09 02:51 am UTC (link)
"Harper?" Draco knew it was true before he asked, since Harper had had whatever opinions he'd had about Draco's finding out. "You told Harper before you told me." That was a statement, and the line of his mouth set tight at the idea of it.

He hated Harper. He'd have to think of something to do about that.

But for now, there were more important things. He raised a hand to brush back the hair she'd missed, tucking it behind her ear and letting his fingers trail the side of her face. "This is important to you?"

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-09 03:05 am UTC (link)
"Of course, West. He's my best friend," she pointed out, as if it should be obvious. She gave him a look like he was being dense, but her hand slid over and took his, weaving her fingers with Draco's. "I told him, because if he laughed at me, or told me it was stupid, it didn't matter so much. I'd just hex him until he begged for mercy and not tell him about anything any more. I don't need his support on this." It was left unspoken that she clearly wanted Draco's.

She watched his face, nodding. "It is, Draco. It's not a career, or even work, so much as.... a passion. It's like... I can pour everything into it, all my frustrations with things, all my fears and doubts and worries about our future, and the things we've gone through in the past, mix it all up and tell a story and be free of it afterwards." She shook her head quickly. "I don't mean I retell events we've been through, I'm not that foolish. Just the emotions." She laughed a little though. "Although I have been told that my heroes are more villainous and unredeemable then they should be."

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-13 11:42 pm UTC (link)
"Likely because you don't have any experience with real heroes," Draco said, deprecatingly, then he smirked a bit and his expression softened again as he looked at her. She was so passionate - even if he felt it was misplaced, could he do anything to crush that, hold it back? He could, he was sure, but he also knew he didn't want to.

"If it's important to you..." he said obligingly, then he shrugged. "You've done a very good job at keeping it secret, apparently."

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-13 11:45 pm UTC (link)
She rolled her eyes at him. "No, my idea of a hero is just a bit more realistic and much less obnoxious then the rest of the world's. I don't need to build a statue to one. I'm marrying one instead, even if most of the world has no idea what he risked for their ungrateful necks."

She sat back studying, trying to judge how sincere he was being, and how likely it was to come again. "Really, Draco, you mean it?"

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-13 11:51 pm UTC (link)
Draco arched an eyebrow sharply at her, and his smirk became a little sharper. "No, I didn't mean it. I suppose we'll call the wedding off now and I'll go and steal Pansy away from Corner." Then he laughed, and it was obviously not at her this time, but at the situation. "Are you daft? You just told me how important it was to you. What did you think I'd do? Demand you stop?"

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-14 12:05 am UTC (link)
She shrugged a little, pulling her hands away from his. Usually his sarcasm rolled right off, or made her laugh, but she was still feeling a little thin skinned about the whole thing. "Maybe. I don't know. West seemed to think you would. It's hardly what one would call appropriate for the wife of a Malfoy, is it?" Not that she wanted him to agree, but she felt at odds, unbalanced, and considering he'd been laughing at her moments before. It was very rare that they fought, and it always unsettled her.

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-14 12:14 am UTC (link)
"I doubt anything we'll do will be exactly what's deemed appropriate. Hell. I helped win a war that set back pureblood values, didn't you just get finished reminding me of that?" Draco's smirk faded, and for a moment he just looked serious, worried. "Astoria, I don't want to change you. We aren't getting married so that society can form you in to my Mother."

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-14 12:32 am UTC (link)
She frowned, fingertips sliding up to twist a lock of her own hair around her fingers, twisting it around and around, letting it go and then doing it again, a nervous gesture she'd finally outgrown out of school, or thought she had. It was, at least, better then biting her nails.

"I'd cut off important body parts if you went after Pansy you know," she said idly, not directly answering his comment at first. She sighed a little. "I know you don't, Draco, but we also have to meet certain expectations. I like your parents liking me. I don't imagine they'd make things very pleasant for either of us if they decided I was no longer suitable. And whether or not I do what is or is not appropriate in the privacy of our home- what is soon to be a ridiculously huge home with an army of house elves underfoot, where I will have to wear a collar and bell just so you will be able to find me before supper time," she rambled a bit, taking a deep breath, "there are certain social dictates neither of us can afford to shrug off."

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-14 12:36 am UTC (link)
"But if this ..." he made a vague gesture toward her wall, when what he meant was the wall in the study with the clippings and plot bits all stuck onto it, "Is that important to you, then it won't be one of those things we sacrifice when we're lords of the manor with the elves underfoot..." As long as she kept it secret, quiet. He didn't say that bit, not sure it wouldn't start the fight all over again. Still, he thought she knew.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-14 12:44 am UTC (link)
She nodded slowly. "Alright. No, as long as I can keep it under wraps. That's part of my contract with my publisher. Complete anonymity, or I'm gone," she said firmly. She'd known from the start it wasn't something she could let get out, and why her contract was a convoluted, thirty foot parchment of conditions and rules and legal terms that protected her with as much iron-clad provisions as she'd been able to imagine.

She sighed and then she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, leaning her head against his chest. "I don't think I like it when you make me cry. At all. Let's not do that again."

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-18 02:06 am UTC (link)
"I don't fancy it that much either," Draco said, tense for a moment as if he was afraid she was set to start again, but then he stroked her hair and moved enough that he could pull her into his lap. "Shame, that. I used to very much enjoy making people cry." He smiled at the joke, though, and kissed her forehead.

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-18 03:17 am UTC (link)
She didn't protest when he pulled her into his lap, winding her arms around his neck and pressing her face against his shoulder. "I hate fighting with you, but I was just so upset you were laughing. You're supposed to laugh at other people not me." She smiled a little at his joke and sniffed a little. "That's other people. Not me. I'm the exception, I'm always supposed to the exception."

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[info]dracowished
2010-10-18 03:22 am UTC (link)
"Always," he said, kissing her forehead again and slipping his arms around her, hand sliding up and down her back absently. "I really was relieved, when I laughed. You can't imagine what sort of things I can imagine would make you so ... guilty looking."

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[info]starmaiden
2010-10-18 03:30 am UTC (link)
She huffed a little under her breath. "Evidently some truly horrendous things to make you laugh like that. Which you had probably not specify because they will make me angry for honking me capable of them on the first place," she pointed out fingers tugging lightly at his hair to remind him that she didn't particularly want to be angered by him.

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