The brief reprieve did much to help Greg clear his head. He emerged from the water and rubbed his hands across his head as he stood waist deep in the bubbly water. He had to get things on check, in perspective, he realized and a pang of doubt flickered through his mind.
What if he never wants to fuck me? he thought to himself as he gazed across the expansive pool at a huddling Theo, what if this is as good as it gets? he asked himself as he dropped into the water, trying to wash away some of his worry. Greg re-emerged and stood again, wiping the bubbles from his face.
I'd love him anyhow, came the realization, and Greg began to walk through the water towards Theo, tired of even trying to do more today.
"Hey Theo. You want to go home now?" He said as he approached, only partially resolved about his sexual disappointments but ready emotionally to handle it. He lowered himself and stopped about arms length away from Theo before speaking again, "Theo? Do you want to go?" And after a long pause, Greg asked again quietly, "Theo, do you want me? I mean do you love me?". It was coming from a place of despair for Greg; if Theo didn't love him, he wouldn't stop doing what he was doing. But it would make him feel that much better, give him hope, if Theo at least cared.