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Nikolai 'Niki' Urquhart ([info]fwoopersays) wrote in [info]wished,
@ 2010-08-25 22:06:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!2003: 08, !complete, nikolai 'niki' urquhart, theodore nott

Who: Nikolai 'Niki' Urquhart and Theodore Nott.
When: Nighttime. After dark.
Where: Hogwarts grounds.
What: Niki is flying randomly and lands at Hogsmeade and walks to Hogwarts. Theodore has snuck out.
Rating: TBD.
Status: Closed/Complete.



He loved to fly. The way the wind whistled and whipped around him, humming in his ears, dishevling his hair, licking cool against his skin, tugging at his clothes. Niki's fingers stayed curled around his broomstick as he flew, through the air, with no direction in mind. Sometimes he just needed to fly. And eventually he would land, he always landed, and when he did he would wander, and find a bar, or find a tree to climb or find a place to sleep. Or he would turn around and fly home.

As he flew, growing near to a hulking shadowed structure, he realized that he had gone a familiar way, although he hadn't intended it. Hogsmeade. He had flown to Hogsmeade. Huh.

Pointing the nose down, Niki flew to the ground and landed fairly lightly. The village was quiet, fairly so, given the time of night. He hopped off his broomstick, holding onto his broom as he started to stroll down the road. Away from the village. He hadn't been back to the school since it was rebuilt... and he realized he wanted to.

He walked along the road, his footsteps echoing softly as he wandered. The school, from the distance, looked good as new. Or good as old?

He mused this over, the voice tickling in his ear, whispering memories to him. Memories that carried him, all the way back to the school grounds.



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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-26 01:59 am UTC (link)
Theo's relase into the wild was completely not Greg's fault - that had to be made very clear. The poor boy had retrieved a lover from St Mungo's but also a still very sick patient, and while Theo appeared to be lucid at times, to know what he was doing and that he meant the promises he made, he really wasn't; he wasn't that person all the time.

He was exhausting work, and while he would usually wake up in distress, enough to wake his boyfriend up, the fates had decided not to on this ocassion. He woke up with stealth, silent and aware and, unfortunately, completely gone in the head.

Theo hadn't really seen Greg - he'd just seen the still (and at the time) unsual surroundings of the swet little hut and had been panicked by them. This wasn't his head! This was somebody else's head, Merlin, Theo had wandered into someone else's head - shuddering at the very idea, he'd crept out of the window ('I promise, I won't climb out the window, I only want to stay with you, I promise'... or maybe poor Greg had been too tired to remember to renew the locking charm) and had started running, the only thing in his mind to get back into his head, back into his own head before his secrets leaked out like so much yolk from a broken egg. There were things, when he remembered, that he didn't want anyone to find out about him.

By the time his body started to ache from running (which wasn't anymore than five or ten minutes - his body was so unused to actually being used, nevermind the fact that he was still dramatically underweight and sick) he'd forgotten why he was running in the first place and stumbled to a confuse halt.

He wandered like a little lost soul, further into the Forbidden Forest, more defenceless than the youngest student in the school.

He stopped as he saw a thing fly down, sure that it was a thestral and wandring off to try and find it.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-26 02:04 am UTC (link)
Niki had always liked the Forest, the taboo nature of it, and so he meandered in that direction, his broomstick slung over his shoulder. It was so quiet, utterly quiet, but it was late, and all that really could be heard was the hooting of owls as they called to one another in the night.

He liked owls. Liked birds of all kinds.

As he walked, he suddenly saw movement, and he tensed. A little mouse? the voice whispered to him and Niki peered into the darkness. And then started to follow that movement, the pale skin that waas against the backdrop of darkness.

His footsteps were silent, and hurried, and soon enough he caught up to the shadowy movement.

"Aha!" he announced and then squinted again. A hand lifted and he scratched his head.

"Nott? Not Theodore Nott?"

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-26 03:18 am UTC (link)
Theo wouldn't have heard Niki even if he hadn't been lost in his own fractured mind, caught like Snow White's dress on the grabbing branches, slowly tearing it apart.

He started at the question more than the exclamation, hearing his surname and shuddering at it, the sound like a vine constricting round his heart. His breathing came in quick little steps and he backed up until his back hit a tree, the small impact making him freeze.

"No." he said, stammering and pale. "No, no not Nott no Nott Nott anymore not, not-" he stumbled over the words, panicked. He felt utterly alone and all that flashed through his head was the fact that he wanted Greg.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-26 01:15 pm UTC (link)
Niki blinked at him, several times, his eyelashes fluttering like a hummingbird's wings as Theodore rambled on, his name echoed over and over, hiccoughing like a broken record. Slowly, very slowly, his head tilted to the side, a very bird like gesture of watching.

"No?" he finally echoed himself. "Not Nott." Not Nott. That was fun to say. He licked the back of his teeth and then tried again.

"Theodore?" he said. He took a single step closer. And looked at him. He liked standing next to Theodore, he decided. For while Niki was never the tallest of sorts, and definitely not the largest - next to Theodore he felt quite tall!

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-26 08:29 pm UTC (link)
Theo watched Niki watching him and held his tongue the minute the other man spoke, as though he was physically incapable of speaking at the same time.

His breathing came too fast and he tried to slow it back down in big gulpy breaths, his body poised to run, eyes looking unnaturally huge and luminous in the muggy darkness.

He almost squeaked as Niki stepped closer, unable to step away. He shook his head fitfully in the negative. "He, he isn't." he said, stammering still. "He's gone with the thestrals, thestrals took him."

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-26 08:32 pm UTC (link)
"Really?" Niki sounded downright fascinated for a moment. "I've never seen a thestral before." Only pictures in books. Although he should be able to see them now - he had seen death, a lot of death during the Final Battle. But he hadn't come across any thestrals!

"Are they nice? What do they look like? Do they have names?" He posed questions, as if they were puppies, a litter of puppies that Theodore had as pets. And reached out to touch his hair, which looked very shiny.

His teeth clacked together then and he smiled in a very lopsided, slightly warped kind of way.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-26 09:04 pm UTC (link)
Theo nodded confirmation and then gave Niki a startled look, as though he couldn't imagine that someone may have never seen one of his favourite obssessions.

He heard the questions between the slices of his mind that were missing, the radio static that cut through it all and answered what he could, looking up into the sky as though he could see them stranded in the treetops. "They come down like nightmares, steal, steal you away, safe, steal your thoughts, breath, they dance over like barbedwire poetry, their points and lines, they have the their own language of wings and flight, they fly, took him away, away from here, away." he quietened, fidgeting uncomfortably.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-26 09:07 pm UTC (link)
"Steal for safety?" Niki plucked those two words out of the jumble, because they sounded such an oxymoron to him, and he liked that about it. "I don't like nightmares." He had them. Nightmares sometimes, odd dreams much more often. He didn't mind the odd dreams. He did mind the nightmares.

He twirled a strand of Theodore's hair around his fingertip and then let it go, as if he expected it to spring into a coil, but of course it did not.

"Are you still in school?" he asked, the whispering in his head telling him that Theodore was older than him! That couldn't be.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-26 09:19 pm UTC (link)
Theo laughed but it was short and sounded nastily sharp like a pocketful of scissorblades, cardboard like it was somone else using his mouth to laugh for themselves. "There isn't a safety. Aren't nightmares when you're waking, aren't they?" he snarled this last part but then flinched back from Niki's withdrawing hand in the next momentas though th strang boy had reached to hit him.

He bowed his had, calm suddenly, and rubbed at his cheek as though he really had been hit. "Not, in my head." he said, and it could have been 'Nott' as easily.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-26 09:22 pm UTC (link)
"Well." Niki had to give this a little bit of thought. "Maybe. If you're waking during the night?" But there couldn't be nightmares during the day, because it wasn't night. Were they daymares then? They should be.

His fingers tickled over Theodore's hair for a few seconds more before he drew his hand away and let it flop back down to his side. "That's good. Why are you here? Did you come for a visit? I haven't been here. In years."

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-26 09:51 pm UTC (link)
"Awake at night? We are." Theo pointed, distracted then by Niki's fingers in his hair, holding still until Niki's hand dropped and then reaching to anxiously, nervously pet at the place where Niki touched, feeling like he'd been compromised somehow, worried about what Greg would think of him.

"Haven't been here? I haven't. I'm... I'm here... this, this is my head, see, you, YOU'RE here, why are you here?" he asked, chewing at his index fingernail and - because there was no nail left there TO be chewed - drawing blood.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-26 09:53 pm UTC (link)
"We are," Nikolai agreed to this, and he bobbed his head and then glanced up at the sky. It was dark, a velvety cloak, sprinkled with twinkling, glowing little stars as they winked in the night sky. Definitely night.

"Your head?" A little slightky off-kilter giggle slipped through his lips then. "I'm not in your head. You're head. His head. He thinks I'm in his head," he said, slightly to the side, as if there was someone there. There was no one there.

"I'm not in your head. You're bleeding. You know?"

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-26 11:30 pm UTC (link)
Niki laughing at him made Theo feel insecure and he stepped back into the tree a little more, rubbing the elbow of the hand he had at his mouth in a nervy way.

He shook his head now but looked down and noticed that he was. There wasn't enough really for him to smear over his fingertips, but he tried and then drew something in the space between them and hissed words in some forgotten language, resulting in... nothing. He still didn't have a wand so none of his magic worked.

He watched to see what would happen, turned his head at hearing... something... and then looked back to Niki, tilting his head curiously. "How did you get in here?"

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-26 11:33 pm UTC (link)
It only served to make Niki laugh, in that giggling manner, as if Theodore was performing for him and he was rightly amused. He waved his hands as well, mimicking the patterns that Theodore had drawn in the air, which resulted in nothing as well. He did have a wand but it was securely tucked in his pocket.

"I walked," he replied and he looked back over his shoulder and then pointed, to the vague, general direction of Hogsmeade.

"I flew. To Hogsmeade. And then I walked here. All up the road. We wanted to see the school again." That slip of a 'we' that he sometimes did. "How did you get in here?"

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 01:26 am UTC (link)
Theo looked confused by Niki's very rational answer, and he turned as if to walk away, stumbling off into the forest a little bit before stopping and looking around, lost although he'd literally just walked a path through from the hut.

He was still very much in eyeshot of Niki and he rubbed a hand through his hair, looking confused. "My head didn't look like this before. What did you do to it?" he looked around again, turning in a full 360 degree circle. "Where did he go?" he asked plaintively.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 01:29 am UTC (link)
Niki looked nonplussed and then started walking after Theodore, not quite ready to wander off on his own yet.

He stopped when Theodore did, a second or two later so he nearly bumped into him. He looked puzzled as well, because he didn't know what Theodore was talking about. "His head?" he said off to the side before his eyes focused on the other young man. "I didn't do anything. To your head. It looks the same to me." Again with the tilting head. "Well. Maybe your hair's. A bit longer?" So was his! A lot longer in fact, as he had worn it fairly short in the days before the war.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 01:35 pm UTC (link)
Theo sat down - or more fell down - on the floor in a little crumple, his legs drawn towards his chest so that he could wrap his arms around them. The turning had made him dizzy, all that excercise had made him giddy and he'd just worn himself out already.

He poked at the mast on the ground with a finger and then looked up at Niki. "You shouldn't be in here after-" he stopped, flummoxed as to the time but continuing on gamely. "You shouldn't be here. You'll get in trouble. They like you back in your room."

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 01:37 pm UTC (link)
Niki watched him grow ever smaller, as he shrunk to the ground. No. Sat on the ground. He sat down as well, because standing over him this much seemed a bit like he was a giant looking down on the villagers. What villagers? He did not know.

So he sat on the cool grass and crossed his legs before him. "I don't have a room. I don't go to school. Not anymore," he replied, waving the suggestion off with a flap of his hand. "I can be wherever I want, now," he added loftily.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 02:11 pm UTC (link)
Theo seemed disconcerted to see Niki sit before him, but then he thought that he was back at St Mungo's so it was hardly surprising.

"You don't look like an orderly." he said softly, his voice just a little fearful. There was only one reason why an orderly would be in his room after lights out and his mind was scrabbling around trying desperately not to think of what that reason was, to say nothing of the deeper, darker things that lurked in the past.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 02:14 pm UTC (link)
"I'm not orderly," Niki agreed, and he giggled. "I'm a chaos." He definitely was the opposite of orderly, that was for certain. His fingers twisted together in his lap, his shoulders rocking from side to side as he peered at the other former Slytherin.

"Where," he began, and he cocked his head to the side, his gaze sliding away for a moment, and he hummed an ackowledgement before his attention had returned to Theodore. "Do you think we are?"

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 09:28 pm UTC (link)
Theo grabbed up a handful of leaves and then dropped them, seemingly a little distressed by what Niki had said in some distracted way, repeating 'chaos' quietly.

He wiped his hand on his trouser leg and held his knees close, resting his chin on the bony surface and looking distant. "Do I think we are what?" he asked, the pause between the first word and the scond apparently long enough for him to lose his way. He looked about again, shifting nervously. "When will he come?"

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 09:31 pm UTC (link)
"Where do you think we are?" Niki supplied helpfully, picking up some of the leaves that Theodore had dropped. He looked at them and then slowly began to tear one to shreds.

"We know where we are," he added, with a sliding glance sideways, and a little nod of confirmation. "Do you know where we are?" Theodore was a curious sort! Niki was quite intrigued!

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 09:38 pm UTC (link)
Watching Niki pick up one of the leaves he had dropped made Theo feel oddly protective of it, at least until Niki started to tear it up at which point he just wanted to do the sam. He too selected a leaf and began tearing spaces into the place between it's veins.

"Yes." he said, sounding indignant. "I know, I... I know but I won't tell." he didn't look up from the leaf but this last sounded a little defensive.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 09:40 pm UTC (link)
"You don't know!" Niki declared at the non-answer. "You don't know." And with that, he flopped back on the ground and rolled on his back a little bit as if it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. He giggled and snorted and then lay still.

"I like the stars," he announced then, eyes tracing the constellations that drew their patterns in the sky.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 09:46 pm UTC (link)
Theo scowled at Niki, but he didn't bother correcting him. He wasn't allowed to discuss the things he'd heard, overknew, he remembered the pain in his tongue, the itch as it healed up from the last time he had.

He watched Niki lie back but didn't warn him, looked up as he mentioned the stars. "No." he said, as though the statement had been a question. "Not those sharp holes. There aren't any stars."

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 09:48 pm UTC (link)
"They're stars," Niki disagreed. "All the stars. See? There. And there. And there..." He pointed to random stars as he spoke, and went on like that for a time, as if he would point out each and every star in the night sky.

But then he trailed himself off and looked at Theodore. "They're stars," he added for good measure before he rolled to his side and then crawled over to the other.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 09:52 pm UTC (link)
Theo was silent and seemed content enough to watch Niki point the stars out one by one, even if he did lose attention halfway through and start mapping out the constellations instead; the stars made him think about centaurs, and he didn't much like that, they're future-telling prowess always making him a little on edge.

He looked down to see Niki crawling towards him and tensed up despite himself. "I know." he said softly.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 09:53 pm UTC (link)
"You're a star," Niki said and he reached out a hand that was moon pale, and stroked his fingers along Theodore's cheek, a feather-light touch before his hand fell away.

"You're like a mouse. Did you know that? So small. And twitchy. Little Mouse." Theodore might have been his name but Niki would now think of him as Mouse.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 10:01 pm UTC (link)
Theo certainly wasn't a star in any case. He didn't like the touch at all, something quite apart from the coldness of th hand against his face making him shudder, his thin stomach turning but the contact seeming to hold him in place.

He pulled back and away from it once the hand was removed. "No!" he said emphatically. "No cats come with needle hands and pierce and grab, no teeth tearing heads, heads off, heads..." that wasn't a pleasant image, leading to another unpleasant image and Theo actually whimpered, curling up and shivering with his hands over his head.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 10:02 pm UTC (link)
Another giggle, a mad sound of delight at Theodore's frantic protestations. "Yes, yes a mouse!" he echoed and nodded his head rather emphatically. "A mouse. All squeaky and small." He petted Theodore's head.

"You are little and can run away. And hide. In a little hole. With other mice," he said, rocking back and sitting down, his fingers raking through the grass.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-27 10:34 pm UTC (link)
Theo's mind wasn't really at it's best these days, and trying to protect his psyche from further damage was difficult when memories of what had caused it to collapse in the first place were brought up. It was made further problematic by the fact that there were so many triggers for the multiple bad things that Theo's now poorly-shored mind was trying to forget that anything that seemed utterly unrelated could set him off at any time.

His mind reacted by just shutting down and he did so, eyes unseeing and his body unresponsive.

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[info]fwoopersays
2010-08-27 10:36 pm UTC (link)
Niki was quite perplexed by this, the fact that Theodore went suddenly so quiet. His eyes were open, but he wasn't looking about, and he was hardly moving at all! Was he asleep? Maybe he was asleep! "People can sleep with their eyes open. Right?" he asked the unseen presence that was always with him.

And so he leaned over and, suddenly tender, as if Theo was a small child tucked in at night, he kissed his forehead.

"Goodnight, Mouse," he said before he climbed to his feet, picking up his broomstick where he had left it.

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[info]booksmart_devil
2010-08-28 01:03 am UTC (link)
Theo was well and truly gone, wasn't able to flinch at the kiss that may have sent him into some sort of panic attack, purely because a kiss was so intimate and plugged straight into that young and still very injured part of him that was terrified by xactly that.

He was still and silent as Niki spoke to him sweetly and bade him goodnight, but he didn't make a move to get up. He sat there, left by his own mind to gather dew, grow cold and wait for his sometimes forgotten lover to find him.

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