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daphne greengrass is [bulletproof];; (daphne__g) wrote in wished,

Daphne heard her name come from his lips and it sounded so foreign. She was so used to being called an endearing pet name that when he didn't she knew something was wrong. Biting on her bottom lip, she looked away from him for a moment. It was just a moment, to collect her thoughts that scattered each time she attempted to speak to him. Nodding just slightly, she moved to the chair that he motioned to. "Thank you," She said quietly, as she took a seat. In a house that was knew like the back of her hand, a home that she grew up in, she felt like a complete and utter strange. She hated this house for what it has done to her friendship, and she hated where she was in her life. Running her fingers through her hair, she stared at the wall opposite her, just beyond Blaise.

Love.

Merlin, if Daphne could ever understand, she would likely just imagine herself with Blaise. Love was a foreign emotion to the girl, she hated what it made people do and she hated how hurt typically followed being in love. Just like now. She loved Blaise, she knew that, but she didn't want to hurt him... yet, it seemed not loving him hurt him just as much. She knew Blaise was more than just some call boy for her every whim and fancy. She knew that Blaise deserved better than what she was giving him. She knew that what she was doing was only hurting him and her in the long run. Yet, something inside of her couldn't stop. It was that horrid four letter word that prevented her from giving him up, that stopped her from calling off their relationship. Selfish, yes, but Daphne didn't want to.... stop. She wanted him there always for her, she wanted him to be her best friend and her lover. To hold her and tell her that she was the most beautiful creature to ever walk the planet. That no one in the world could compare to her and that nothing would ever change his feelings for her. She wanted things to be less complicated.

It made Daphne furious with herself that no matter what she tried to do, someone was going to get hurt. She knew in the back of her mind what was needed to be done, this relationship with Blaise - this secretive love affair couldn't go on the way it was. Not with so much resting on both of their shoulders.

As she sat there the words he wrote to her last night echoed in her mind just reminding her how hurt she felt. Swallowing slightly, she stared down at her hands as that feeling like she wanted to vomit was slowly returning. Suddenly, she regretted ever coming. Forcing him to hate her sounded so much better than trying to patch up their friendship. Your mother was in the right for arranging a marriage for you just echoed there in her head, persistent and brutally honest. It hurt her more because she knew it was true, Daphne was and never would have been marriage material if it wasn't for her mother. The fact that Blaise reiterated that after so many years of it being drilled into her mind hurt. It hurt that Blaise called her baggage, called whatever they had baggage and that he would be so much happier without it.

Pushing back that urge to cry once more, she finally turned her attention to Blaise, doing what her mother taught her and pushing back all her emotion. Pulling on a completely neutral face and staring directly at him with a cold blank stare. There wasn't love in her gaze, it was an icy wall that Daphne put up in her most vulnerable states. It was devoid of typical warmth that she gave to Blaise and held a withdrawn, cold flicker in it. It wasn't a look that she usually gave him, but at this point, she was preparing herself for any hurt that might come along with his words. He all ready made her cry once last night, Daphne figured it was a matter of time before his hurtful, brutally honest words would spout forth once more. She needed to prepare herself, she needed to push him back arms length and throw up that defensive wall to shield herself.

"How was practice this morning?" Small talk, it was only an attempt to keep the silence from trickling between them. At this point, small talk was the only thing that Daphne could push her thoughts to. It was the only thing keeping her from breaking down.