InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Not today."

Nymphadora Tonks (nymphadarling) wrote in wished,
@ 2010-07-05 21:13:00

Entry tags:

!2003: 07, !incomplete, npc, nymphadora tonks, remus lupin

Who: Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, and Gabriel Lupin
Where: Their home
When: Monday evening
What: It's time to break the news of where Daddy goes once a month.
Warnings: None

For the past five years, Tonks and Remus had skirted the truth of where Remus went during every full moon when it came to their son. Gabe was a bright, loving kid, and Tonks thanked her lucky stars every single day of her life that he and Remus were in her life, but the fact remained that he was still a little boy, and she and Remus had no idea how he would react to learning that Daddy got a little furry at least a dozen times a year.

Tonks had done her best to subtly prepare Gabe from the beginning. Stories like The Three Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, or anything that vilified wolves were left on bookshelves. Several of his stuffed animals were wolves, and whenever Tonks had a lycanthropy case in the office, she made a point of talking to Gabe about it and making it clear that most werewolves weren't bad people; they were good people stuck in a less than desirable situation, and people who thought they were bad were only scared of them because they didn't understand.

They'd done everything they could to prepare him for this, and finally it was getting to the point where they had to tell him, otherwise it would turn into deception. And deceiving their son was the last thing Tonks wanted to do.

Entering the living room, she flopped down on the sofa next to Remus and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "He'll be in once he's done brushing his teeth," she said. "Nervous?"

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maninthemoony
2010-07-07 12:04 am UTC (link)

It really shouldn't have been a question. He was beyond nervous and it was evident if you looked close enough. He was sitting with fists clenched at his sides and a tight set to his jaw. One foot tapped an indistinguishable rhythm.

"Merlin, yes," he said, momentarily releasing the tension in his neck to bend to kiss Tonks back. "I really don't want to do this."

As much as he didn't want to, it was quickly becoming clear that they had to tell Gabe. The tried-and-true excuse was that daddy had to go on business overnight and when he came home he'd be very tired. Remus normally transformed at an abandoned barn near his childhood home and spent the morning recovering there in a makeshift room he'd set up until he was well enough to travel home to his own bed, where Gabe was forbidden to bother him until the late afternoon.

The past few months, Gabe had been extra curious about his father's expeditions, now that he was older and fond of asking questions. This past month, he'd gone into their bedroom unannounced to find his dad with dark-circled eyes and a scary-looking cut on his shoulder. Remus had managed to assuage the boy with a story about an accident, but had confessed to Tonks later that he was sure Gabriel knew something was up.

"Are you going to talk, or me?" he asked Tonks softly.

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nymphadarling
2010-07-07 12:42 am UTC (link)

Tonks squeezed his shoulder, and after a moment, she hopped over the back of the couch to give him a quick neck rub. "I know you don't want to, love, but we have to eventually, and it's good the younger he is."

Besides, Gabe was getting rather interested about where Daddy went. While Remus was gone, Gabe made a habit of crawling into Tonks's lap and talking about what he would do when Daddy got home. Show him a book or a toy or a stuffed animal, whatever happened to be on Gabe's mind. One night wasn't a very long time, but apparently it was an eternity to him, and every month, Tonks reassured Gabe that his father would be home soon.

It wasn't fair to Gabe. It wasn't fair to Remus to have to go through this either, but she was confident that Gabe wouldn't have a problem with it. He would be curious and probably ask loads of questions, but she wasn't worried about his reaction. She was loads more worried about Remus and the stress of it all.

"I can talk if it would be easier for you, or if you want to, that's good too," she said, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek. "It'll be okay. Don't worry. He's your son, and you're his father. Lycanthropy isn't going to get in the way of that."

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maninthemoony
2010-07-07 01:03 am UTC (link)

Relaxing a little more under her kneading hands, Remus said,

"I know, I know. It's just difficult...you know, to say it? I should be the one to tell him though."

As if on cue, Gabriel emerged from the bathroom in his pyjamas, his favorite stuffed toy (a fuzzy black puppy) clutched under one arm.

"Can we read?" he asked, scrambling over to the couch and curling up next to Tonks, his hand reaching eagerly over her to his father.

"In a bit, love," Remus said. "But mummy and daddy need to talk to you about something. Will you come sit on da's lap?"

Gabe happily crawled over and settled himself against Remus' chest. Remus felt his own heart skip several beats.

"Remember when mummy told you about that nice girl she helped at work? The one who turned into a wolf on full moons?"

Gabe nodded soberly, fiddling with the ear of his stuffed toy.

"What did mummy tell you about werewolves? That they are normal people, right?"

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nymphadarling
2010-07-07 01:33 am UTC (link)

Tonks cuddled up to Gabe and Remus, and she ran her fingers absently through her son's hair. With her other hand she found Remus's and squeezed it comforting. This wasn't going to be easy for any of them, but it was like a bandage: once it was off, it was off, and then there would be questions for weeks. Possibly for several full moons after. In the end though, she knew how much Gabe loved and looked up to Remus, and everything would be all right. And if for some reason Gabe didn't react well, she would do whatever she possibly could to make things right.

"Yeah," said Gabe to his father, avoiding eye contact. He did it when he was nervous, and the corner of Tonks's mouth turned downward. Did he expect some sort of punishment for something he did?

"They're normal people who just get a bit furry once a month, remember?" said Tonks softly, giving Gabe a reassuring smile. "Nothing bad about them at all. It's like being a Metamorphmagus."

Gabe nodded again, still keeping his head down, and it pulled at Tonks's heartstrings.

"Hey," she whispered, nuzzling Gabe's cheek. "It's okay. You're not in any trouble, and nothing bad's happening. We just need to have a family moment, okay?" She pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. "Big smile, yeah?"

Gabe obeyed, flashing Remus and Tonks a wide smile and showing off a missing bottom tooth.

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maninthemoony
2010-07-07 01:42 am UTC (link)

Remus felt his own lips turn up into a smile at the sight of his son's toothy grin.

"Mum's right. You're certainly not in trouble. Now, remember last week when you came into mum and dad's room when I was sleeping? And I was hurt pretty bad, right?"

"Uh-huh," Gabe said, looking slightly confused.

"When your daddy was very little, as young as you in fact, he had an accident. He met a werewolf who wasn't being safe on the full moon and he got bitten. Right here."

Remus pulled back the collar on his shirt to show a puckered white scar on the back of his left shoulder.

"And because that happened, Daddy's a werewolf too. That's why he has to go away one a month, because he has to change. But you don't have to be scared, okay? I'm always safe and then I can come home to you and mummy. Right?"

Gabe reached a small hand up and touched the scar on his father's back gently. He was silent for a minute, which felt like an eternity to Remus, and then asked.

"So you can change into a wolf?"

Remus nodded slowly.

"Cool!" Gabe said, leaping off his father's lap and running to his room. Remus exchanged a puzzled look with Tonks. The boy returned, clutching one of his stuffed wolf toys. "Like this?"

"Sort of," Remus said, laughing a little. "I go away and turn into a wolf, and I sleep like that for the night, and then I come home to you."

"Can I see?" Gabe asked eagerly.

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nymphadarling
2010-07-07 02:01 am UTC (link)

Tonks was expecting questions and confusion, not this. But this--excitement--was loads better.

Giving Remus a smile while Gabriel was in his room, she patted him on the knee and waited for Gabe to come back. Out of all the possible outcomes, Gabe thinking of Remus as some sort of brilliant superhero was one of the best. Not the best, because Tonks could foresee all sorts of potential issues on the road with enthusiasm, but infinitely better than rejection, perceived or otherwise.

And this was one of those potential problems.

Tonks patted her lap, and Gabe crawled up, though he immediately went into Remus's instead. She didn't mind; far from it, in fact. "Unfortunately, love, if we went with him, it wouldn't be safe anymore. But what we can do is be here for Daddy after the full moon and make him hot chocolate and give him time to rest so he feels better."

"But I want to!" said Gabe, his smile faltering as he wrapped his arms around Remus's neck.

She gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "I want to be with Daddy too, but we can't. You can stay with me though, and we can stay up late, have popcorn, and watch movies that you can tell Daddy about the next day."

Gabe continued to pout, and Tonks gave Remus a helpless look.

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maninthemoony
2010-07-07 11:22 pm UTC (link)

"Gabe, remember that time we saw that dog in town that was really mean and barked a lot?" Remus tried. "Well, when Daddy becomes a wolf, he is a bit like that mean dog. I know you're my little mate but when I'm a wolf, I won't know that. That's why you stay with mummy until I can go back to being your da, okay?"

Gabriel looked a little puzzled at this but nodded anyway and tucked himself against Remus' shoulder.

"Can we read now?"

"Sure, mate," Remus agreed. "Before that, there's one more thing. Remember how we talked about your special gift, and how it's important that we only talk to our family and friends about it? How you need to remember that other kids can't change their hair, so we have to be quiet about it? Well, this is the same deal. We can't tell people we don't know about how I can change into a wolf, ok?"

"Like 'The Potion Master'?" Gabe queried. Remus chuckled. 'The Potion Master' was a popular Wizarding comic book character who had several secret identities.

"Exactly," Remus agreed. "Now go on and pick out a book and we'll read it here, okay?"

With a final nod, Gabe bounded off to his room enthusiastically.

Turning to Tonks, Remus said, "Well, that went significantly better than I think I imagined it would."

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nymphadarling
2010-07-08 08:18 pm UTC (link)

Tonks let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding as Gabe dashed out of the room.

"It really did," she said with a soft laugh. Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, she added, "I won't say I told you so, but..."

This would open up an entirely new flood of questions, she was sure of it, but at least now they could be completely honest with him. There would probably be some sort of emotional injury or backlash as soon as Gabe discovered that the rest of the world didn't think being a werewolf was as brilliant as he did, but they would handle that when they came to it, and in the end, once Gabe saw that nothing changed between them, she hoped everything would work out.

Gabe scampered back into the living room and onto the couch between them, and Tonks ran her fingers through his turquoise hair. "I think it's your dad's turn to get to read to you, isn't it?"

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maninthemoony
2010-07-09 02:34 am UTC (link)

Remus looked down at the offered book, smiling to see it was an old favorite of Gabriel's.

"I think I probably could recite this one by heart, mate," he said affectionately to his son. "Settle in then, and we'll have a go at it."

With Gabe curled up at his side, Remus opened the book and read in a quiet, steady rhythm. After a little while, the boy was beginning to doze off against Remus' side. Setting the book aside, he scooped Gabe up gingerly and carried him off to bed, tucking him in tightly and planting a kiss on the top of his bright-blue hair.

"Night, love," he said, turning out the lights and leaving the door open just a crack.

Returning to the couch, he splayed out with his head on Tonks' lap.

"Your turn to read to me," he teased, a hand reaching up to toy with her hand.

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nymphadarling
2010-07-13 06:13 pm UTC (link)

There was nothing Tonks liked better than to watch Remus and Gabe together. They'd come so close to not being in each others' lives that she was sure she could never stop appreciating the gift having them together was.

Once Gabe was asleep, she rose and followed Remus to the door of the bedroom, where she watched him tuck their son in. Once he was done, she returned with him to the living room and gave him an impish grin.

"I get to read to you, do I?" she said, running her fingers through his hair. "Lucky me. What do you want to read tonight? We have a whole library for five-year-olds to choose from."

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maninthemoony
2010-07-14 12:11 am UTC (link)

He grinned wickedly, almost ashamed of the awful pun he was about to make.

"Read my lips," he said, leaning up to kiss her. "No kid stuff, please."

Shifting on the couch to get more comfortable alongside her, he wrapped his arms around her and toyed with the baby-soft hairs at the nape of her neck. His lips traced down her cheek and down to the curve of her shoulder and collarbone.

"Love you," he said.

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nymphadarling
2010-07-17 07:38 am UTC (link)

It was so easy to wrap herself around him, to kiss him like nothing else mattered--it was the most natural thing in the world to be with him like this, and Tonks was positive it would never get old.

"Love you too," she murmured, running her hand down his chest as she kissed him deeply. After all they'd survived, this was precious, and she truly appreciated these moments. In a way, she locked them in her memory, as if she were convinced that it could all disappear at any moment. Maybe it would, but in the meantime, she would have no regrets about any of it.

"Have you ever been so happy that it felt unreal?" she said, pulling away just enough to set her forehead against his. "Maybe it's the war and everything we went through in the beginning, but that kind of happiness scares me sometimes. I did nothing to deserve it, but here you and Gabe are, brilliant and wonderful and perfect."

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	maninthemoony 2010-07-21 12:15 am UTC (link)
	"It'll always feel unreal to me," he said, cuddling up to her side. "I'd only felt so happy a few times before I had this family. It's scary for me, too. You definitely deserve this, love. If I do, then you do. Right?" He pressed his lips to her brow. "And I think," he added. "We deserve some time alone. Bed?" (Reply to this) (Parent)