InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Are you listening?"

Theodore Nott (booksmart_devil) wrote in wished,
@ 2010-07-05 23:09:00

Entry tags:

!2003: 07, !incomplete, draco malfoy, theodore nott

WHO: Draco Malfoy & Theo Nott
WHAT: Draco visits Theo
WHERE: St Mungo's
WHEN: Monday evening
WARNINGS/RATING/STATUS: Unbalanced Theo/PG-13?/Incomplete

In a place where the time was structured regimentally, but where the spaces between showers and - in Theo's case, forced - meals seemed to stretch on for days. Theo spent a lot of his time when he wasn't talking to things that weren't there, writing on the walls or fighting his nurses against eating just asleep, drifting in a bad fog of forgotten events and made up dreams that didn't differ greatly from his reality.

Greg came and went through Theo's days like a both familiar and unknown ship skirting a lighthouse; sometimes the light of Theo's awareness would alight on him and his visit would be received happily, but more often than not, Theo's mind was dark and lost in the night and he had to be reintroduced all over again. The visits left him unsettled, disturbed like dust that had lain still, gathering for years until someone came along and wrote a name into it - it was like Theo could recognise the letters but he couldn't make out the word.

He was semi-sedated and seated on the floor in the corner of his room, writing on the walls with a blunt pencil, marks and runes that would have done damage had he still been allowed use of his wand. Apparently, wherever his mind was right then he thought he needed the protection, but that wasn't really uncommon with this patient.

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dracowished
2010-07-05 10:17 pm UTC (link)

It was not the first time Draco had visited Nott over the years. He wouldn't say that he felt guilty for Nott's condition - he wasn't as directly responsible for it as he was for Goyle and Crabbe, for instance. But there was a part of him that wondered how this might have happened differently, if he had done something, and that part brought him, at least once a month, to visit the boy who had not exactly been a friend.

He did not expect this visit to move much differently than the others had. The mediwizard opened the door for him, and he paid him five galleons to stay close enough that he could be called for if needed, then went inside.

"Theodore," he said, standing with his back to the door, watching.

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booksmart_devil
2010-07-05 10:22 pm UTC (link)

Theo hadn't looked up when the door had opened, too used to ignoring the comings and goings of the orderlies up until they'd bodily lift him to take him away and feed him. He didn't care how many times they said that he needed to eat, he still hated it, hated that he had no control over even that.

He was angry a lot of the time about that.

So it was that he didn't turn to see Draco, his bony shoulders clearly showing how he tensed and froze in place at the sound of his name in so familiar a tone. This wasn't his sometimes visitor, the big man with the kind hands, no, this was... something other.

He shuddered like the temperature in the room had dropped suddenly but didn't move apart from that, hand still lifted to mark the wall with the pencil. "Sir." he said, his voice so quiet that it would have been inaudible if it wasn't for the complete lack of anything else in the room.

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	dracowished 2010-07-05 10:29 pm UTC (link)
	No, not very different at all. Draco wondered if Goyle really saw how lost Nott was to reality. If so, why want to take him out of the hospital at all, even if you did care about him in that way? "Theo," Draco tried again, clearing his throat. "I'm not one of your Healers. You don't have to call me Sir." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

booksmart_devil
2010-07-05 10:35 pm UTC (link)

Turning around at the diminuitive use of his name, Theo sat back so that he was semi-crossed leg on the floor, a faint dark-grey pencil smudge against his cheek. He tilted his head at Draco consideringly, captured by the hair colour in a way he always was. "You're not my father..." he said, somewhat hesitantly like he was more trying to tell himself that than Draco.

He crawled forward a little, careless of the fact that he was doing this but his frame so thin and his moves so smooth that he managed not to look as ridiculous as he should have. He stopped and knelt back on his knees like he was praying. He turned his head to look over his shoulder, slowly like he was trying not to disturb whatever it was he thought was there, and then he looked back to Draco, putting his finger against his lips in a shushing gesture before beckoning his former classmate down with him.

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dracowished
2010-07-05 10:41 pm UTC (link)

Draco snorted. "No, I am not your father. Or mine, actually, no matter who seems to be trying to make me into him." He said these things mostly to himself, as he didn't think Theo would really understand. Then again, it wasn't that big a change. All the conversations he could remember with Nott had been one sided, mostly.

He did watch as the man crawled to him, though, and he arched an eyebrew sharply, but found himself folding down against the door until he was sitting there. Then he reached into his coat and pulled out what he'd brought with him - what he generally did bring - a package of cherry flavoured sugar quills. He thought they tasted like cough syrup, but Theo had always liked them.

"Here, these are for you." He said, sitting them down next to Theo's leg. "When you want them."

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booksmart_devil
2010-07-05 10:47 pm UTC (link)

Theo flinched at the mention of his father from another mouth, came closer when Draco came down to his level and huddled himself up beside his once-friend. He didn't quite lean against him the way he did when Greg pulled him in, but he did sit close, almost pressed in.

He had a peek into the packet of sugar quills and nodded, putting them to the side to not be eaten. He wasn't eating.

He pointed up and then looked over at Draco, close enough to see the blond of the other man's eyelashes. "Can you hear them?" he asked in a whisper. "Be quiet. They'll punish us for eavesdropping if we get caught." he warned, before leaning his head against the wall with a sigh, closing his eyes. Maybe he was back when he'd been much younger than Hogwarts age, far back when he'd done this with Draco under his dining room table, listening to their father's plot.

He may have just been listening to something in his head though. It could go either way really.

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	dracowished 2010-07-05 10:50 pm UTC (link)
	Draco had learned after several months visiting that it was easier to ascertain how Nott was doing if you went along. "Oh, I've taken care of that." He said after a moment, wondering who it was he might have taken care of. "They're in the drawing room. They won't be able to hear us." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

booksmart_devil
2010-07-05 10:57 pm UTC (link)

Looking up like he might see them, Theo looked back at Draco, childish uncertainty on his face. "They're drawing?" he asked before reaching a hand out and dragging the pads of his fingers down the wall. "Drawn, drawn that wand, pulled back that blow." he murmured before almost collapsing sideways against Draco, blinking heavily up at an angle, trying to look at Draco but finding movement so difficult. "I'm an outline." he said mournfully. "So sorry."

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	dracowished 2010-07-07 04:06 am UTC (link)
	Draco sighed, but also carefully patted Nott's shoulder - just once - then let his hand fall more comfortably back to his side. "There is nothing to apolgize for, Theo." He said, then cleared his throat. "I've something to ask you, though." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

booksmart_devil
2010-07-07 06:50 am UTC (link)

Theo flinched as Draco's hand came close, but relaxed again after the pat, the instance forgotten in the next minute.

He tilted his head at Draco at that, because surely there was everything to apologise for - the guilt that still ate at him could never be quieted, although he didn't know from whence it came - but he was distracted by the idea of being asked something and he answered. "Ask the thing."

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	dracowished 2010-07-10 12:44 am UTC (link)
	Draco's fingers fidgetted on the floor absently, and he cleared his throat. Thinking how to ask it, the question was ridiculous. It wasn't like Nott would actually understand what he was being asked, either way. "If I had the opportunity to take you away from this hospital. Would you prefer that?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	booksmart_devil 2010-07-10 11:10 pm UTC (link)
	Theo's attention was drawn to Draco's fingers, and he tilted his head to watch until Draco's question sunk in and hit something still working in his splintered brain. "What hospital?" he asked, light confusion in his tone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dracowished 2010-07-12 11:03 pm UTC (link)
	Right. Of course he wouldn't realize, and that would make this conversation even more obnoxious. "Alright, then, given the choice, would you rather be at St. Mungo's, or at Hogwarts?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

booksmart_devil
2010-07-13 06:38 am UTC (link)

Theo shook his head like he already knew the answer to this one. "I have to heal it myself." he said. "If I can't then I have to deal with it until I learn how." The only reason he could see Draco asking that question was for a comparison on healing facilities, and his loose mind made him talk about things that he'd always kept dark and secret; his dad had always insisted that it was for his own good.

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	dracowished 2010-07-13 08:28 pm UTC (link)
	"Well, it might be quite a bit easier to heal yourself if you were somewhere more ... conducive, to healing." More conducive than a hospital. It made very little sense, but Draco also hadn't noticed any betterment in his condition over the last few years. Hogwarts might help. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	booksmart_devil 2010-07-13 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm not broken!" Theo said, almost snapped if his tone hadn't been one of fright and not anger. He seemed to settle in the next moment though, running his hand over the floor like he was sweeping an arc of sand away. "I'm not anything to be healed, not, Nott, Nott a thing." he said, murmured half to himself and half to Draco. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dracowished 2010-07-13 08:53 pm UTC (link)
	"Yes, that's clear enough," Draco said with a sigh, leaning his head back against the door and then clearing his throat, trying another tactic. "I've heard that Gregory Goyle has been by to see you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

booksmart_devil
2010-07-13 09:07 pm UTC (link)

Theo froze, mulling over those words, trying to remember past strange touches and a body over him in his bed at Hogwarts. The memory clashed with some remembrance of pain lancing through him and he shuddered a little, possibly only noticable to Draco because of their proximity. "Seen, not heard." Theo told him, not looking up from the floor but looking over, the phrase crossing a memory of his father into his mind and making him shake his head to get the image out. He whimpered softly, miserably, lost in some private hell for a second.

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	dracowished 2010-07-13 09:18 pm UTC (link)
	"Goyle hasn't heard you?" Draco saw the shudder and wondered at it. Goyle's feelings, at least, had seemed as real as anything Draco had ever seen from the boy. "I believe he wanted to, if he didn't." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	booksmart_devil 2010-07-14 05:11 pm UTC (link)
	Draco speaking to him brought him out of it, even if it was only to give the blond a confused look. "Who is that?" he sank down a little, cringing, looked around in fear before he whispered again. "No... Daddy didn't say so." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	dracowished 2010-07-14 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	Draco repressed the urge to roll his eyes. "Dead men don't often grant permission one way or the other, Theodore." He said simply, and then he moved to stand up from the floor. "It's time for me to leave. But think on what I've said. Hogwarts seem like a better fit for you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

booksmart_devil
2010-07-15 06:35 am UTC (link)

Theo twitched at the mention of dead men and moved as Draco did, drawing his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin on them, the way he'd been found before he'd ever been put here.

He just couldn't process the idea that his father was dead, nevermind the fact that his hand had done it, and he shut down at the mention of it, not responding to anything anymore.

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	dracowished 2010-07-16 08:15 pm UTC (link)
	Draco sighed and looked down at him, knocking at the door for the orderly to come and let him out of the room. He'd obviously broken Theodore for the time being... and quite without wanting to. He had no idea how Gregory was going to help Nott at Hogwarts. (Reply to this) (Parent)