Percy looked to took the seat gingerly, sitting so he was not really settled in the seat but more perched on it, leaning forward a bit.
"Of course I had to do this, Bill. I mean, you're my brother," Percy said, pausing as he tried to think of how to word what he was feeling. How could he capsulize all of the feelings he had for man who'd been his role model? Percy was not a coward, expect for admitting his own personal faults, and here he was faced with them. Why had it been so long since he'd seen Bill? Percy knew it stemmed back to that argument with his Dad, and thus his journey away from the family. Percy swallowed a bit, uncomfortable but wanting to make this right, "It has been too long. And I'm sick to death. If something had happened to you...and we couldn't be talking like this...Bill, I don't think I could live with myself."
Percy swallowed and pressed on, "I am sick of being estranged, of my own choice."
He paused again, "I hate being apart from..well....from all of you," and he looked at Bill in the face, "Can you forgive me? I've been such a bloody fucking idiot, supporting the idiocy and the lies that the Ministry has been pumping out, pursuing and enforcing. Bill, can I make things right between you and me at least?"
It was a mouthful, and Percy felt a part of his soul was laid out, raw and vulnerable to his older brother. Bill could accept or reject him; Percy fervently hoped it was acceptance that he was get. He was at the edge, ready to crumble if his older brother would say no. Percy was tired, bone weary, of being ostracized from the family.