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Tweak says, "Hey, Sonny-boy!"

Roger Davies (agile) wrote in wished,
@ 2010-03-11 09:33:00

Entry tags:

!1998: 03, !complete, patricia stimpson, roger davies

Who: Roger Davies & Patricia Stimpson
When: 6th March, 1998 (Backdated)
Where: Patricia's Flat!
What: Patricia has deep fried yorkie bars. Roger wants to marry her for them.
Rating: PG

Ever since he had found out about Angelina's parents, Roger had been feeling a little off-balance. He was noticeably less flirtatious and a lot more worried about his mother's safety. Angelina's parents had been Purebloods and they had still been killed.

It was disconcerting.

So he jumped at the opportunity of visiting Patricia and clogging his heart up in that deliciously bad way with deep fried candy. Who wouldn't? He definitely needed a pick-me-up and Patricia was wonderful company.

It didn't take long for him to arrive at her flat, knocking on her door as he called out, "It's the police! We've received word that you have some illegally good yorkie bars in there!"

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stimpsonator
2010-03-11 09:16 pm UTC (link)

Patricia had spent the last few moments gather supplies. As with every learning process she knew there was a very good possibility that she was going to injure herself. Call her prone to accidents. The burn cream was placed on the counter and her wand was poised over the bubbling oil. A lifetime of magic and she still had problems getting things the right temperature.

"You think that's bad! My neighbors have doughnuts," she grinned, swinging the door of her tiny flat open. "Well I'll be, you're still as ugly as ever. Come inside before you scare the neighbors." The boy knew he wasn't ugly, there was no harm in taking the piss out of him.

"You get to help the preparation. We have chocolate to unwrap!"

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agile
2010-03-11 10:15 pm UTC (link)

"Well now, how am I suppose to seduce you now?" He asked, faking hurt as he gripped his chest. Roger pitched himself forward into the flat, stumbling slightly before regaining his balance.

Frowning, though he didn't mean it, he asked, "What is this? I have to help you cook? What kind of wife are you going to be, Stimpson?"

Yet, he was already standing before the chocolate, unwrapping it and trying not to eat it.

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stimpsonator
2010-03-11 10:36 pm UTC (link)

"I am unseducable. Ancient Asian secret. Making up words is another one but that is a lesson for another day." Patricia merely smiled as she shut the door behind him, motioning him to follow her into the kitchen. Her flat was a combination of boxes and scattered piles. She always meant to unpack properly but never seemed to get around to it. Luckily she mastered Accio early on.

"Wife? I'm supposed to be the wife? You never said that, mister. That changes everything."

Little did Roger know that it was in his best interests to unwrap the chocolate. As good as is was deep-fried Patricia often had a hard time of waiting that long to eat it. This way the chocolate had a fighting chance. "Maybe you'll still want to marry me after you hear about the ice cream I bought to put on top..."

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agile
2010-03-11 11:03 pm UTC (link)

"Hey, if you want me to be the wife then shouldn't you be the one proposing? Where's my ring, huh? I want a big diamond one. Pink diamond." He wiggled his fingers at her, which were noticeably bare of any rings.

Dropping his wiggling hand, he started to peel more chocolate bars out of their wrappers. Coyly, he said, "But I guess if there's ice cream involved, I could agree to marry you again. But you need to do it right and propose first."

Roger sniffed, adding, "I don't put out without a ring first."

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stimpsonator
2010-03-12 01:39 am UTC (link)

"Like you're one to talk about rings. At least I would propose in person!" Patricia couldn't help the smile that had spread across her face. She sure hoped she didn't have stray chocolate in her teeth because all of them were showing. "Pink? Pink? My wife will not wear pink."

"I have offers, you know." No, she didn't. "I don't get down on my knees for just anyone." Patricia paused, her brow scrunching slightly as she thought for a moment. "That did not come out right. Still true but no. Besides, what do I get for marrying you, hmm?"

"Liar, liar," she sang under her breath. "Or does an onion ring count?"

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agile
2010-03-12 02:48 am UTC (link)

"I thought it was a romantic grand gesture. I mean, everyone gets to see how much I care about you through the journals," Roger said in defense of himself though he was grinning the whole time. "And I happen to like pink. Or blue. Blue would go with my eyes." He batted them prettily at her, wondering if he could steal one of the chocolate bars to snack on while she did her thing.

Bursting out with a laugh, he raised his eyebrows at her. "You get anything you want from me to get you down on your knees," Roger dared with a slight leer. He honestly had no off switch.

Considering the question for only a moment, he nodded with utter seriousness. "I can accept an onion ring in place of a real ring."

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stimpsonator
2010-03-12 03:06 am UTC (link)

"Pink is a poor man's red. Red shows character. Real men wear red." Patricia merely raised her eyebrow as he batted his eyes. She might have swooned but she knew him too well. That and she was too busy snorting.

Well, she was on her knees but probably not for the reason that leer was suggesting. Patricia suddenly found herself curled into a ball from the force of her laughter. Her abs were aching and tears began to spill out the side of her eyes. "I--I always knew you wanted me. They're is no resisting the Asian charm," she squeezed out, bringing herself back up to standing. "You're going to make a great dirty old man. That look was bloody priceless."

"We're a match made in heaven. We really are."

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agile
2010-03-12 03:25 am UTC (link)

"Hey!" Roger protested, but it was with a smile. "Most birds are swooning at this point. What kind of husband are you?" His fingers were steadily working on twining the metallic wrappers of the yorkie bars together.

When he was done, he got down on his knees and presented the woman on the floor with a badly made wrapper ring. "Let's make it official. I was thinking about having a summer wedding."

They were utterly ridiculous, but it was exactly what Roger needed to get his mind off al the serious stuff that was going on in his life.

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stimpsonator
2010-03-13 12:07 am UTC (link)

"The stoic kind. Obviously." She didn't pay much mind to his fiddling, she was too busy making sure everything was ready to start the party.

"Roger Davies, I'd thought you'd never man up. Yes! Yes! By Merlin, yes!" Patricia wasn't ashamed of the giggles escaping her as she made a big show of putting on the ring. "This might be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Women everywhere are going to be jealous."

Still laughing, she went to ready the first batch, her wrapper ring sitting awkwardly on her tiny finger. "Lets deep fry us some love to make this official."

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agile
2010-03-24 08:40 pm UTC (link)

The wrapper ring was more of a wrapper bracelet than anything else at the moment, but it was the thought that counted, right?

Rubbing the back of his neck, he laughed before getting back onto his feet. "I can get behind that idea. So long as you don't expect me to do anything more than look pretty while I hand you the bars, anyway."

It might have been the easiest thing to do in the world, the deep frying, but Roger would have been sure to cock it up anyhow. He was, simply put, a disaster in the kitchen.

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stimpsonator
2010-03-24 09:34 pm UTC (link)

"Good. I don't want the pressure of being the pretty one. I plan on growing fat and round. You on the other hand...Well, you better keep in shape so my eyes don't wander."

Patricia wasn't much better in the kitchen but she refused to ruin perfectly good chocolate. She had also had enough fried food to know when things were looking right and when they were looking horribly wrong. She went to work dipping the chocolate bars in the batter, dropping them in the hot grease with a satisfying hiss.

"Hear that? That is the sound of perfection."

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agile
2010-03-24 09:40 pm UTC (link)

"I hope you plan to pay for the surgeries I'm going to need to keep looking pretty as I grow older," he said with a sniff, playing keep away with the next bar he had been set to hand Patricia to fry.

He gave it up after jerking it away once or twice, before reaching to pick up another one. He looked at it, as it tempted him to eat it. "I don't know though, if I want that pressure. Why can't you sit around looking pretty, while I indulge?"

Roger had to eat healthy because of Quidditch, but that didn't stop him from occasionally eating things he shouldn't.

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stimpsonator
2010-03-24 09:45 pm UTC (link)

"You better make it worth it. Mistresses are cheaper than surgery, you know." At least she thought so. How much did those spells cost? She would need to do research on this. "Oi! Hand over that chocolate you lout!"

She stopped what she was doing to stare at him. And blink. Slowly. "Roger, if you were any prettier you'd be French. Lets work with what we've got."

Patricia was lazy and sloppy by nature. The day she started to care about appearances was the day she went blind and didn't know what she was wearing.

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agile
2010-03-24 09:56 pm UTC (link)

"I don't know. Mistresses could become pricey if they start demanding hush money and jewelry. All I want is a few surgeries when the wrinkles start to show." He didn't know if they were expensive or not, but he was a fan of the natural look in reality.

Not at all sneaky about it, he bit into the Yorkie bar in his hand, because he was impatient and she couldn't expect him to wait for a fried one. Hr grinned around it, looking highly unattractive with bits of chocolate in his teeth.

"I think you've got plenty to work with. Wouldn't have proposed otherwise, wifey."

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