my_sam_dean (my_sam_dean) wrote in wincest_is_best, @ 2008-04-22 12:00:00 |
|
|||
Title: Twisted, Part Two
Author/Artist: my_sam_dean
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Theme #: 25 - Broken
Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural. Warnings: Slash, Incest, Using someone's body as another's. Sam and Dean's realtionship continues, gets a new twist and Sam runs.
The next morning, they acted like nothing had happened. And, for several weeks, life went on as usual for the Winchester boys.
Dean still picked up random girls and stayed out all night. He enjoyed their company and the power he had over their bodies. He could make them produce such sweet sounds that were like music to him. After having sex, he felt relief and comfort but also an urgency to leave. He fought it off for as long as he could, but it eventually got the better of him.
When he walked into the motel at first light and Sam thought he was coming right from a girl, he'd actually been asleep in the Impala. Dean went along with what Sam thought because there were some things Sam didn't need to know.
Dean had never been with a man. When he let Sam use his body as Jessica's, that was a first for him. He'd done it purely to help Sam, to try to get him over his grief. He thought he provided a safe place for Sam to re-enact his memories. That way, Sam could be done with them and move on.
The problem came when Dean realized that he liked having Sam inside him. That's when it changed from just to help Sam to be for Dean's benefit, too.
So, when Sam woke him up in the middle of the night again with tears in his eyes, Dean just nodded. It went the same as it had before. And the next time. And the next time.
The sixth time Sam was pretending that Dean's body was Jessica's, he called out Dean's name when he came. Sam hoped Dean wouldn't notice. Of course, Dean did.
"Sammy, why'd you just call my name?"
"What? I didn't call your name."
"Yes, you did, Sammy. Tell me why."
Sam looked like a deer caught in the headlights as he bolted to his duffel.
"You must think the worst of me," his mind was racing as he tried to get dressed. "I'm gross and disgusting and not what you wanted for a little brother. I'm sorry." And Sam raced out the door, leaving Dean sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
***
Dean drove around in the Impala until he found Sam trying to hitch a ride out of town.
"Get in, Sam."
"I think it's better if I don't."
"Get in, Sam."
"I'm not being a very good brother. You should just keep going."
"Sam. Get in this car. That's an order," Dean used a tone that Sam didn't dare argue with. He got in the car and sat there, silent.
After hours of driving in silence, Dean realized that he was going to have to bring up the elephant in the room, which totally sucked since Sammy was the talker of the two of them. He just sat there, pressed against the passenger side door to put as much space as possible between them. He wasn't looking out the window or plugging away on his computer. He just stared at his hands.
They drove into another little town and grabbed lunch, still not speaking. They were talking but not about anything important. They avoided all the things they needed to say and made small talk instead.
Dean checked them into a motel in the early afternoon. The only room left had one bed. Dean actually preferred it that way since it would make his point easier to make.
Sam wanted to die on the spot when he opened the door and saw just the one bed. The only reason he didn't walk right back out was because Dean was right behind him.
"Sit down, Sammy. We're not going anywhere for awhile."
Sam sat at the rickety table. He couldn't meet Dean's eyes.
"We need to talk." Dean surprised himself by saying those words. That was Sam's line, not his. But, he needed to be the responsible adult and they had to clear the air before it was just too hard to breathe anymore.
Sam was quiet. But, he hadn't bolted and locked himself in the bathroom so Dean took that as a good sign.
"I need to know when missing Jessica and pretending I was her turned into me just being me."
"Do we have to talk about this? I said I was sorry and it won't happen again."
"That's fine," Dean replied. "I just want to know what changed in the first place."
"The time before last night, I wasn't missing Jessica. That was because I desired you," Sam confessed. Then, he stood up quickly," I think I'm going to be sick."
Sam tossed his lunch in the toilet. Dean looked on from the doorway.
"It's great to know I'm so repulsive," Dean said.
When Sam was done, Dean handed him a wash cloth and a glass of water.
"It's just the idea that we're brothers and I could be so screwed in the head to have those feelings for you that makes me sick."
Dean nodded, taking it all in. "Sam, are you gay?"
"No!"
"If I wasn't your brother, would you still want me?"
"I don't know. I guess so. Why?"
"Because somewhere in the middle of you missing Jessica, I went from allowing you to pretend my body was hers to wanting it to be you in me. So, if your feelings gross you out, mine must do the same."
"No." Sam thought about it for a minute. "It's like your admission isn't as bad. I was using you, you were letting me use you, for one reason and I started to use you for another reason without telling you. What I did was worse."
"Do you need to puke any more?"
Sam shook his head.
"Good," Dean told him. "Let's go back into the room and talk about this like adults."