my_sam_dean (my_sam_dean) wrote in wincest_is_best, @ 2008-04-20 00:34:00 |
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PART 1
Dean shouldn't have been surprised at how quickly Sam took to parenting. He always seemed to know what Rayna needed. He was just so in tune to her. Although they didn't have a genetic connection to Rayna, she was most definitely their daughter.
Dean walked into the bedroom one night to find the bedside lamp on. Sam was asleep on his back and Rayna was asleep on his chest. She looked like she belonged there. Sam just looked sexy, even as exhausted as he was.
The late nights had been an adjustment, but Sam usually got up with Rayna since he was done with school. John and Bobby not only helped out, they ruled Rayna's time during the day. They never laid her down. She was in one set of arms or another all day long.
Sam and Dean were just happy to see their dad enjoying his granddaughter so much. He was able to do things with Rayna that he never got to do with them.
One night, Sam caught Dean watching Rayna sleep.
"What are you doing?"
"Just watching," Dean replied dreamily. "When I look at her I can see our future. And it's a good one, Sam, it really is."
Sam got up to wrap his arms around Dean and watch Rayna. She was going to be in every day of their life, but she would only be tiny for so long. That in itself was enough reason to watch her sleep.
"She's going to grow up one day and have a family of her own," Dean leaned back into Sam. "We'll have grandkids to spoil rotten like Dad and Bobby are doing to her."
"We spoil her, too, Dean," Sam chuckled. "But, she deserves to be spoiled. She's already been through so much."
"I wish I could have gone through it instead," Dean told Sam. "Whenever I saw her lying there in the NICU, helpless and sick, I wanted to take her place."
"Same here," Sam held Dean closer. "All the time I spent up there, I was going over what the nurses and doctors said trying to find a way out. There wasn't one, by the way."
"I didn't think there was. You would have found it if there was one, though," Dean turned his head and kissed Sam's neck. "You're our geekboy."
"Don't ever tell her I'm a geekboy," Sam said. "I'm her daddy. I need to be her hero."
"You will be," Dean replied. "You'll be the one who is able to help her with her homework and ace tests."
"You'll teach her about cars and make sure she has an awesome muscle car the day she turns sixteen."
"I don't know. That might attract the wrong kind of boy."
"Wrong kind of boy?" Sam asked. "Do you want any kind of boy around our little girl?"
"No. But I suppose it will have to happen some day. Maybe she can start dating when she's twenty-one."
"Isn't that a little old to start dating, Dean?"
"I want to give her time to figure out what she wants in a guy before throwing her to the sharks."
"I wasn't a shark."
"No, Sammy, you weren't. But, lots of guys are."
"Guys like you?"
"Yep. Until you and I got together and I settled down."
"I settled you down?"
"You sure did. It's just another reason why I love you," Dean turned in Sam's arms and put his face in Sam's neck. He mouthed the sensitive skin just to hear Sam moan. Dean whispered in his ear, "Let's go to bed, baby."
"Bed sounds good," Sam agreed. "Think we'll ever have enough energy to be fully-awake again?" Sam asked as he pulled Dean closer to him in bed.
"Some people would guess when she's eighteen, but I think we might spend some sleepless nights after that, knowing us."
"That's not very encouraging, Dean."
"Welcome to the world of parenting. Our lives are no longer our own."
"As long as we get Rayna, I guess I don't mind."
"Yeah, she's worth it."
"Love you," Sam settled in for the night, holding Dean next to him.
"Love you, too, Sammy."
***
Caleb was spending more and more time with Emma. What had started out as cooking lessons had blossomed into friendship and maybe romance. Caleb didn't want to push Emma too fast and Emma was being cautious because of past experience.
Drew wasn't sure how concerned to be about Caleb hanging around the house when he wasn't home. Although John had told Drew that Caleb was okay and Drew trusted John's judgment, it was just a big brother thing that wouldn't go away.
"When do you think you'll be heading home?" Emma asked Caleb one day when he drove her to her job at the restaurant.
"I haven't really thought about it," Caleb told her. "The Winchesters don't really need me around anymore, but I don't have anyone back home that needs me either. Did you think that I would just make plans to leave and not tell you?"
"I knew you'd tell me," Emma said softly. "I just wondered how much notice I would have."
"Would you miss me if I went home?"
"You know I would. Wouldn't you miss me?"
"Of course I'd miss you, Emma. You know I'd call and come back to visit, right?"
"I guess," Emma looked at her hands. "I just needed to make sure."
"I'll tell you as soon as anything changes, okay?" Caleb put his hand under Emma's chin to look her in the eye.
Emma nodded. She gave Caleb a hug and walked into the restaurant.
Caleb watched her go and wondered if he would be able to leave town. He was attached to Emma and he really didn't have anything or anyone waiting for him at home.
***
When Rayna had come home, Caleb had phoned Victor. After Rayna had been home about a week, Victor called Caleb because he was ready to come up and perform the rituals. He had one to dispel any demons from her and another to close the opening for the demon that had been in Zane.
Sam was visibly worried as they waited for Victor to finish preparing. He held Rayna close and was wondered if trusting Victor was such a great idea.
Dean stood next to Sam, almost standing guard between his family and the world. He was uncertain of Victor and his abilities but Caleb swore Victor was a great hunter and also a dad. He treasured children. That made Dean a little more comfortable. He thought about sharing that with Sam but he could see by the way Sam's jaw was set that nothing was going to make him relax.
The first ritual was simple. Sam held Rayna while Victor sprinkled holy water on her and spoke Latin. There was no black smoke; therefore, there had been no demon in her.
The second ritual was a blessing of sorts. It was supposed to cleanse her body and soul and reinforce her defenses against demons. Victor anointed Rayna with oil and burned some stinky plant.
Then, he was done.
PART 2John, Bobby and Caleb saw Victor to the door, thanking him profusely and offering him a place to stay for the night.
"I'm just glad I could help," Victor replied. "I'm going to drive partway home tonight so I can make it home in time for my son's birthday party."
"Can't miss that," John smiled.
"No. I can't. It's sometimes hard to balance hunting with a family. Luckily, I have a very understanding wife," Victor laughed.
Sam and Dean yelled their goodbyes to him from the couch. Sam hadn't let Rayna go since before Victor arrived.
"It's all over now, Sammy," Dean ran his hand up and down Sam's back. "Rayna is protected and we have one less thing to worry about."
"I know. It's just hard to relax. I worry about if this really worked."
"I take Victor's word for it," Dean said simply. "Caleb trusts him and I trust Caleb. He would never do anything to hurt us or Rayna."
"I know," Sam hugged her closer. "Maybe it just has to sink in."
"This parenting thing is still new to us. That means we're going to be uneasy about many things until we get it figured out."
"Guess so," Sam leaned against Dean.
"Let me hold that little angel," John said as he walked over. "Sam's been hogging her all night."
Sam handed Rayna over. "Just needed to feel her close, that's all," Sam turned pink.
"That's how it's meant to be," John moved Rayna's blanket to see her face clearer. "We're always supposed to want them near. That's how we know they're okay and safe. It's a dad thing."
"And a grandpa thing," Bobby added as he peeked at the little bundle.
Dean put his arm around Sam and just took in the scene. Their dad cradling his granddaughter with Bobby hovering close by. It made them think of how their dad had been when they were little. After seeing him with Rayna, they were convinced that their dad hadn't been the macho type when it came to them. He'd held them and loved them like he was doing with Rayna. He just wasn't able to be that way after he took up hunting.
***
Dean and Sam tucked Rayna in and realized that it was earlier than usual. Still, after the stressful day, they needed the extra rest.
"Sammy, I love you."
"Love you, too, Dean," Sam ran his fingers through Dean's hair. "Our little girl did wonderful today. She didn't even cry during the rituals."
"She's tough. Besides, you were holding her most of the time, so she knew she was safe."
"Think she knows who we are?" Sam asked
Dean was quiet for a moment. "Well, if she's fussing for Dad or Bobby, she'll calm down when we take her. I think she knows we're her daddies."
"I read somewhere that babies can't see clearly but they can tell by sense of smell who is holding them. Think that's true?"
"I know how I crave the scent that is just you. She could just register our scents as the ones who comfort her the most. All that time you spent at the NICU bonded her to you. She knows you, Sammy."
"Yeah. I just never knew how much one tiny person could affect the lives of the people around them."
"She's amazing. After our lifestyle, who would have guessed that a female would be able to turn us to mush?"
"Not me," Sam said softly. "Once I had you, I never did notice any women."
"I might have noticed them, but it wasn't the same," Dean replied. "They didn't catch my eye like they used to."
"And now we're raising one," Sam laughed. "I think I'll get some books on parenting to make sure we do this right."
"You're going to do fine by just following your heart. It will never lead you astray."
***Dean returned to work and Mr. Steven noticed a change in him. Dean was happier even if he had spit-up stains on his shirt and was sometimes blurry-eyed from lack of sleep. He had a necklace with a band on it that was usually tucked under his shirt. When Mr. Steve saw it, he knew what it meant. He was happy for Dean, Sam and Rayna.
In the break room, Luke was talking about his kids. Dean found himself taking an interest in the family man conversations for the first time.
"Want to see a picture of my daughter, Rayna?" Dean was eager to show off his baby.
"Sure," Luke knew the impulse to share. "I thought you and Sam --"
"Oh," Dean almost choked on his coffee. "Sam and I adopted Rayna. She was premature and had a long hospital stay. She's at home and doing great now."
"She's a cutie. How are the late night feedings treating you?"
"They're kicking my ass as the moment. I'm drinking the coffee from here. You know how desperate I have to be for caffeine to do that," Dean smiled.
"Yeah, that's pretty desperate," Luke handed the picture back to Dean. "It will get better. She'll start sleeping through the night and you'll wake up panicking and have to run check on her because you'll worry if she's okay. She'll be sound asleep, totally unaware of the fear that she caused."
"Speaking from experience?"
Luke nodded. "Been through it with three kids. Survived it, too. So will you."
"Thanks for telling me," Dean replied. "I was beginning to wonder how any parents survived the first few months."
***
Sam slept while Dean was at work. John and Bobby treasured their time with Rayna while Sam slept.
"Who do you think she'll grow up to be?" Bobby asked.
"I don't know. I don't want the hunter's life for her," John answered as he studied her sleeping form. "I want her to be happy and loved."
"I think she'll have that. She'll always have us."
"I want her to have her own family, Bobby. Do you think she'll be able to do that?"
"We can't worry about the effects of the bleed, John. We could drive ourselves crazy doing that. When we find out what limitations she has, if any, we'll be able to help her adjust."
"Keep telling me that, but don't expect me to quit worrying."
"I don't. You wouldn't be you if you didn't worry about your family. I love your protective streak."
"You do?" John's attention shifted to Bobby.
"Yeah. I like feeling protected and protecting the Winchester clan. It's so much better than feeling alone."
"You'll never be alone, Bobby."
"I know."
Bobby was quiet and John knew he recalling the years that he'd lived alone at the scrap yard. He'd been lonesome and mourning his family that was gone.
"You have a new family now," John put his arms around him. "You're stuck with us for life."
Bobby's eyes were getting wet. "Promise?"
John kissed him slow and then whispered, "Promise."
Saturday morning, Rayna laid in bed between her daddies. She'd had her early morning bottle and she fell right back to sleep. Sam and Dean had been hoping she'd stay awake for a little bit so they could play with her. Instead, they just relaxed in bed.
"She's growing," Sam told Dean. "One of her sleepers looked like it could be getting too small when she stretched out in it."
"Love the way she scrunches her face up when she stretches. It's like it takes so much effort."
"Yeah. It's the toughest thing she has to do all day," Sam laughed.
"I'm glad it's like that," Dean said. "At the NICU, it was just so different from home. Now she can finally just be a baby. Having stretching as the most difficult thing she has to do all day is a good thing. I can live with that."
"Me, too. You have any plans for today?"
"Fight Dad and Bobby so I can get a chance to hold her. They're used to holding her the whole time you nap during the day, you know. Today they'll be going through withdrawal if I hold her."
"I think they'll manage. A quiet day at home sounds good to me."
"Whose house do you plan on being at?" Dean chuckled. "Our house is never quiet."
Sam just smiled.
***
At supper, John said, "Dean, it hasn't escaped us that your birthday is this week. Bobby and I would like to take care of Rayna Saturday night so that you and Sam can celebrate your birthday at a hotel."
"Are you sure?" Dean asked. "I mean, you won't be overwhelmed by all her feedings?"
"If you don't trust her with us, you can stay here Saturday night, but Bobby and I will still be taking care of Rayna. I suggest you take advantage of this opportunity and go away overnight because Bobby and I can't stay here forever. We need to get back to the scrap yard. Then, you'll be on your own with no nights off."
Dean looked at Sam, who didn't know what to say.
"Thanks and I think we will take the time away for ourselves," Dean replied. "You're not going back too soon, are you?"
"Early February," Bobby guessed. "We've been gone almost three months. If we thought you really needed us here, we'd stay. But, you boys are great dads and seem to have it all under control."
"We do?" Sam piped in. "Doesn't feel like it some days."
John laughed. "Get used to it, Sam. While you used to be able to plan most of your days, now Rayna will plan them for you. How she's doing will dictate what you get to do. When she's all grown, you'll get part of your life back."
"Why only part?"
"She's still your daughter. You'd drop everything to be there for her. That part stays with you."
"Looking forward to our night away, Sammy?" Dean inquired.
"Wow. A full night's sleep," Sam said dreamily and then smiled.
Dean laughed and shook his head.
***"Dean's birthday is this week," Caleb told Emma at her apartment. "Did you and Drew want to come over for cake?"
"I'd love to see them, but it's too soon," Emma bit at her lower lip.
"Hey, I get that," Caleb gave her a smile. "They'll understand, too. John and Bobby plan on going back to South Dakota next month. I imagine they'll be over here visiting before they leave."
"You think so?"
"They'd never leave town without saying goodbye to their girl," Caleb told her as he put an arm around her.
Emma smiled up at him and then rested her head on his shoulder. She laced her fingers through his where they sat on his thigh.
"I wondered if they still thought of me like that," she said softly.
"I keep waiting for one of them to call me out about being over here so much. They're more than just a little protective of you."
"You don't think they'd like you visiting me?"
"If they knew you were happy about it, they'd approve."
"I look forward to when you come over."
"Hey," Caleb had a tone in his voice that made Emma look up at him. He slowly leaned over so his lips touched hers, giving her opportunity to look away if she didn't want him to kiss her. He kissed her softly and his heart almost burst when she kissed him back. "Seeing you is the highlight of my day."
Emma blushed and hid her face in Caleb's neck.
"That was nice, Emma."
"Yeah, it was," she curled into him even further.
Caleb smiled to himself and just held her.
***
Dean turned 29 and he had birthday pie instead of a birthday cake. John and Bobby shook their heads but Sam insisted on a pie because he'd promised Dean one. Caleb was the one doing the baking and he knew Dean loved pie. So, pie it was.
Sam got Dean a card and gift from Rayna. He'd blown up a picture of Dean and Rayna and put it in a frame. From himself, Sam gave Dean a new wallet with the actual sleeves to hold pictures. Dean had crammed pictures where the bills were supposed to go.
"I never thought I'd have kids until I was, like, forty," Dean said.
"I never thought you'd get married to have kids," John replied.
"Oh, I never said anything about getting married," Dean smirked.
"So who were you going to be having kids with at forty?" Bobby asked. "I don't know of many women who want to have kids at forty."
"I said I'd be forty. She's probably be twenty. Well, twenty-one to make her legal for the bars."
Sam chuckled. "That sounds like you, Dean."
"I don't think that way any more, Sammy. I am perfectly happy with you and Rayna."
Sam just smiled back at him.
Dean gave Rayna her evening bottle and the other men told her goodnight before he and Sam went to tuck her in.
"Think we're being rude going to bed this early?" Sam asked. "We usually stay up and visit until later."
"But usually isn't my birthday, Sam. I really think they'd rather we were in our bedroom instead of us sitting out there with me trying to get your clothes off. I just don't think that would go over too well, birthday or not."
"Guess not," Sam laughed.
Rayna made a little fussing noise and Sam put her pacifier back in and patted her back. "Shh, it's time to sleep."
"Oh, Sammy," Dean whispered from behind him, "Sleep is the last thing on my mind."
Sam turned around and went to Dean. "I'm right there with you, birthday boy." He brought his lips to Dean's as he grabbed his waist to pull him close. Sam went slowly, savoring the taste of Dean and the feel of his mouth.
Sam's slow movements made Dean impatient. He ground his hips against Sam's and could feel his reaction through the thin cotton boxers that they wore.
"We have time, Dean."
"I need you now, Sammy. Then, we can go slow."
Sam responded by moving his hands to pull Dean's boxers off. Dean sighed as the air hit his bare skin.
Dean laid on the bed and Sam followed, covering Dean with his body. His lips were on Dean's neck, eliciting small sounds from Dean's lips.
"Tell me what you want," Sam was breathing heavy.
"Stroke us," was all Dean could get out.
Sam rolled off to the side before reaching down to close his hand around Dean and himself. Dean put his hand on top of Sam's. Together, they found a rhythm that worked.
Dean moaned into Sam's kiss when he came, trying to be quiet. Sam had rested his head on Dean's shoulder and he bit Dean's skin as his body shuddered. Sam licked and mouthed the bite, trying to make it feel better.
"I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay, Sammy. I think it was kinda hot."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Just make sure it's someplace where I can hide it," Dean kissed Sam. "It felt utterly possessive of you."
Sam blushed and tried to hide his face.
"You'll always be my Sammy," Dean said softly. "Any kind of sex talk is just too much for you. Just think what would happen if I wanted you to talk dirty."
"I wouldn't be able to do it," Sam replied. "I don't think of making love to my husband as dirty."
"I'll never ask you to. I just used that as an example. We've been through so much, Sammy. We should be able to talk about anything."
"I'm just not as bold as you."
"I wouldn't change you if I could," Dean swore. "You're the Sammy I fell in love with and find irresistible."
***
“How did Dean’s birthday go?” asked Emma.
“Good. I think he enjoyed himself. He had pie instead of cake.”
“Sounds like Dean,” Emma said as she finished putting the dishes away. When she turned to say something to Caleb, she stopped short because he was right behind her.
Caleb put his hands on her waist and kissed her softly. She returned his kiss and granted him entrance when he licked her lip. Emma placed her hands on Caleb’s shoulders. She was getting lost in the feelings Caleb was evoking. She even dared to slip her tongue between his lips. Caleb was surprised that Emma returned his open-mouth kisses. Still, he was delighted that she was moving forward and closer to him.
When Emma broke off their kiss, she sighed and rested against Caleb’s shoulder. Caleb continued to hold her close. He bent forward and kissed her hair as she clung to him.
***
Sam heard Rayna start to fuss. He was at her crib in an instant.
“Let’s not wake Daddy now. Shh. We’ll go get you a bottle. How would you like that?” Sam whispered to her as he scooped her up and did his best to soothe her as they walked out of the bedroom.
Dean woke up enough to realize that the two of them were up. Then, he drifted back to sleep, only able to fall into a deep sleep once Sam was back beside him.
Rayna started to fuss again. Sam picked her up. She wasn’t hungry. She didn’t need to be changed. She didn’t feel like she had a fever. Sam decided she must be lonely, and brought her to bed with him.
Sam made sure to sleep with his back to Dean, cradling Rayna in his arms. Sam knew he wouldn’t roll over on Rayna. Dean didn’t know she was in bed with them to begin with. Sam couldn’t expect him to know she was there.
Dean shut the alarm off a couple minutes before it was set to go off. He threw an arm over Sam and felt something wiggle. He sat up to find Rayna, awake, in Sam’s arms.
“Morning, baby girl. Were you giving Daddy trouble last night?” Dean reached for her and whispered to Sam, “It’s okay. I’ve got her. You get some sleep.”
“Love you,” Sam mumbled.
“I love you, too, Sammy,” Dean kissed his sleeping face and covered him up.
“What are we going to do with you? Wearing out your daddy like that?” Dean grabbed a receiving blanket to wrap her in after he’d changed her. She looked up at him with her blue eyes and sucked on her fingers.
“You’re pleading innocent, huh? Not surprised. You sure look innocent with those eyes of yours. I wonder if you’ll be able to do the puppy eyes like Daddy,” Dean rambled on to his daughter as he made her a bottle. As long as he kept talking to her, she was content to look at him and suck on her fingers. She knew a bottle was coming. But, Dean knew from experience, if he stopped talking to her, she’d show him just how strong her lungs were.
Dean fed her and Rayna tried so hard to stay awake. She fought sleep like a trooper. She wanted to stay up and visit. But, her tummy was full, she was warm in her blanket and Daddy was rocking her. Before long, she was out.
Dean kissed her head as he laid her down in her crib and tucked her in. Then, we went to get ready for work.
Saturday found the boys in full first-time-parent mode. Sam made a list of all the phone numbers he could think of, his cell and Dean's cell (like Dad and Bobby didn't already know those), the hotel, Rayna's doctor's name and the after-hours phone number, poison control center, and even 9-1-1 (like it wasn't the same number in South Dakota). He also wrote a list of the times that Rayna needed to be fed, when she got a bath, what she found comforting, what she disliked, and what songs would help get her to sleep. He put those lists on the fridge and removed everything else so that they were easy to spot.
Dean saw the lists and stopped to read them. He had to laugh at the lullaby suggestions, he and Sam clearly had different ideas of what kind of music was soothing. Dean had been humming heavy metal or mullet rock. Rayna wasn't going to tell on him, so he decided not to tell Sam that his note was a little incorrect.
With John and Bobby waiting to get their hands on Rayna to spoil her rotten for almost 24 hours, Dean took a more direct approach. He gave them a pop quiz on Rayna's care. John and Bobby were good sports, they answered all of his questions and got all of them right. Only then did Dean tell Sam that they could go. They kissed their angel goodbye and turned around to look at her with her grandpas at least three times before they shut the front door behind them.
"You'd think we'd never been around kids before," Bobby said as he heard the Impala back out of the driveway.
"They were just each being cautious in their own way," John replied as he looked at the little baby in his arms. "Did you check out Sam's lists on the fridge?"
"No. He left lists?"
"Yeah. Go check it out. It's totally Sam. He even listed 9-1-1."
"He didn't," Bobby looked at John's face and decided to check. "I'll be damned. He did. What does he think Rayna is going to get into so that we'll need the poison control center? It's not like she moves on her own."
"I think that one is in case we put something in her bottle that shouldn't be there. Senior moments, you know."
"That's pretty gutsy, Johnny. Sam slammed us in writing."
"I know. Funny thing is, he probably doesn't even realize it. In his mind, it's actually a possibility that Rayna could get something on her own. He's already thinking that far ahead."
"That's Sammy for ya. Where's Caleb?"
"Do you need to ask?" John smiled at him. "Emma and Caleb have been spending lots of quality time together lately."
"Think that's a good thing?"
"Don't know. It's good for them to be friends, I don't know how the whole romance part would work with the distance."
"I'd just hate to see Emma get hurt again," Bobby stated.
"Caleb doesn't want her to get hurt any more than we do. I trust the guy."
"If you do, I will, too," Bobby grumbled. "But I get first punch if he makes her cry."
John laughed and Rayna just looked at her grandpas with big eyes.
***
Caleb and Emma were relaxing on the couch with the television on. They were too busy kissing to be paying much attention to the program. Emma had one hand on Caleb's cheek, turned so that she was sitting on her knees, She was slightly above Caleb. Her kisses were getting deeper
Caleb was lost in Emma. He'd gone from an arm around her shoulder, to hands at her waist, to rubbing her back to pull her closer to him. He could feel her breasts pushed against him and he wanted to touch them. Since Emma was stealing his breath, he thought he'd test the waters. He moved one hand up her ribcage so that it was breast level. Emma didn't seem to notice. If she did, she wasn't objecting. So, Caleb moved his other hand up her side to the same point.
He brushed one thumb against the material that covered the side of her breast. Her kisses stopped for a moment. Caleb froze.
"Is this all right?" he asked with a croak in is voice.
"Yeah," she smiled. "I like it."
Caleb let out a breath he'd been holding, thinking that he'd pushed her too far. Emma
started to tease him with her kisses. She'd enter his mouth and then pull away, leaving him wanting more.
"Emma," Caleb had a small growl to his voice.
She looked at him, innocent and wide-eyed. "What?"
That was too cute, and enticing. Caleb kissed her without worrying if he was rushing her and moved his hands slowly over her breasts. She moaned into his mouth.
"You like that," he whispered quickly, between kisses.
"More," was her soft reply.
He reclined her on the couch so that she laid on her back and he was on his side beside her. He was able to massage her breasts. He circled and rubbed directly on her nipples. They stood up erect through her thin bra and shirt.
'Caleb," she breathed as she arched her back, moving them closer to him.
He was kissing her and she was getting this warm feeling in her stomach as her heart beat fast and her mind tuned everything out but what they were doing. Caleb rested his forehead against her when he stopped to catch his breath.
"Do you know how long I've wanted to be close to you?" he asked her.
"I've wanted it to, but had to be sure," Emma's voice was quiet. "You didn't push and I am comfortable and safe around you. I decided that I trust you. You know my secrets and don't think I'm a bad person for having them."
"Most of it was beyond your control. The rest of it, you handled the best way possible."
"You really think so?"
"You took an event that was traumatic and turned it into the answer for Sam and Dean's dreams. That's very impressive."