my_sam_dean (my_sam_dean) wrote in wincest_is_best, @ 2008-04-19 23:47:00 |
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TITLE: Ballad of the Winchesters, Part 76-80
AUTHOR: my_sam_dean
PAIRING: Sam/Dean, John/Bobby, Caleb, Emma, Rayna, Drew
RATING: R
SUMMARY: Sam and Dean head home. John and Bobby stay at the NICU. Caleb's friend finds a ritual for Rayna. John, Bobby, Dean and Sam take shifts in the NICU. Emma gets discharged, comes home and Caleb tries to help.
NOTES: I have based my knowledge of the NICU (Intensive Care Nursery) based on my own experience when I had my son 10 years ago. Although this is a spoiler, Emma's baby will make it. I don't want any of the committed readers of this story to worry about that.
WARNINGS: Slash, Incest
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Supernatural.
Caleb woke when Sam and Dean came in. "How is she doing?" he asked as he hugged them.
"We checked on Emma before we left," Sam replied. "She's doing okay, I think we've talked her into coming home after she's discharged. Rayna Mary is what we named our baby. She's tinier than a doll and hooked up to so many machines. It's going to be a long, stressful time before we get her home."
"Drew's asleep. It's like he didn't know if he should be here," Caleb told them.
"We'll always make room, Caleb," Dean sighed as he unlaced his boots. "We need each other right now."
Caleb nodded. "Want anything to eat?"
Both boys shook their heads. "Tired."
"Joshua and Jefferson exorcised the demon in Zane. He thought he had a bad dream in which he hurt Emma. They did the usual, threaten him not to contact her, track him down if he does, that kind of thing."
"Now we just worry about what that means for Rayna," Sam looked dead on his feet.
"No," Caleb told him. "I have someone working on that. Worry about any medical stuff that you have to, but I'll get the supernatural part covered."
"Thanks, Caleb," Dean clapped his shoulder as he walked by. "You're a good friend."
"Anytime," Caleb watched them slowly make their way down the hall. He wished he could do more.
***
Sam and Dean closed their bedroom door behind them and realized it was the first time they'd really been alone since Rayna was born. They turned toward each other, wrapping themselves around each other in the privacy of their own bedroom. Sam felt Dean's body begin to shake.
"We're gonna be okay, Dean," Sam ran his fingers through Dean's hair and rubbed the back of his neck. "All three of us." Sam felt Dean's guard go down. He tilted Dean's face up so he could see Dean's eyes, filled with tears. He'd been so strong while they'd been at the hospital. Now, he didn't need to be anymore.
Sam kissed Dean lightly. "I've got you now, Dean. You can let it go."
Silent tears slid down Dean's face. All Sam could do was look back into those shining eyes lovingly as he tried to get them both comfortable for bed.
Sam got them into bed and drew Dean toward him. Dean had his head on Sam's chest as sobs rocked his body around.
"You've been strong for me all day," Sam whispered to him. "You don't have to be, especially here."
Cries that Dean had been holding back came out like long moans. Sam couldn't make it better. All he could do was be there and hold him as he fell apart.
They fell asleep like that, an exhausted, teary mess. But, they were clinging to each other and that was a very good thing.
***
John stared at his hands, lost in thought.
"John," Bobby put a hand on his shoulder. He looked at John's face and then repeated himself, "Johnny. What are you thinking?"
"I've done so much," John's voice was gruff after his long period of silence. "I raised my boys and taught them to hunt. I've gotten rid of evil. I even held Mary with these hands a lifetime ago. Yet I can't hold Rayna to tell her that Grandpa is here."
"The nurse said you could touch her," Bobby reminded him.
"But I can't hold her and comfort her like I did Sam and Dean."
"One day you can. You just need to be patient."
"I never held the boys enough when Mary was gone, Bobby. I helped them hold guns or rested my hand on their shoulder. I didn't hold them. Holding someone is more than putting your arms around them. It's making them feel comforted and loved. I'm going to always hold Rayna."
"I know you will," Bobby laid his hands on top of John's. "Rayna knows you're here. Think that she can't sense that her grandpa is here? Just cause she's a Winchester doesn't mean she's thick-skulled. After all, she's a girl. You know she's going to out-think us." Bobby saw John's lips curve a little before he whispered for only John's ears, "Besides, I'm partial to those hands of yours. They've held me and loved me for awhile now. You communicate through them better than your words at times." John's body was so tense sitting beside Bobby. "You're doing a fine job. When we get home, you won't have to worry about what other people think. Then you can just be my Johnny Boy."
John looked at Bobby as if for confirmation. "I'm going okay, John. Worried as hell about everyone else but otherwise fine."
John slowly nodded. Bobby had once again surprised him by his inner strength.
***
Drew came to life just a few hours after Sam and Dean came home. It was a school day, so he planned on heading to school, getting whatever he could for Sam from his classes and heading up to Emma. He tried to move around quietly, but he still woke Caleb up.
"Drew," Caleb wandered into the kitchen, "How are you doing?"
"Got some sleep," Drew paused to look at Caleb between shoving books in his bag. "How's the baby?"
"They named her Rayna Mary and she'll be in the NICU until her due date. I guess Sam and Dean checked on Emma before coming home, She's hanging in there and supposed to come back here when she's discharged. Make sure she remembers that she belongs here."
"I will," Drew promised. "Tell Sam I'll check on notes. I'll be up to see Emma when I am done."
Caleb nodded. He pointed to the muffins on the counter. "Take a couple of those, Drew. Can't have you falling over from malnutrition."
Drew smiled and grabbed a couple. "Thanks, Caleb. Call me--"
"I know," Caleb cut him off. "I have a list of numbers to call and you're on it. Don't worry."
Caleb watched Drew leave and then made up some more muffins and coffee for the thermos. He checked on what they had for leftovers and made some chili to add to their stash.
Caleb's phone rang and he quickly picked it up before it woke the boys.
"Caleb," Victor's voice was a welcomed sound in his ear, "I think I found what I was looking for."
"That's good news," Caleb stopped putting away leftovers and sat down. "The demon was exorcised from the father yesterday or the day before, I can't remember. Anyway, the baby girl was born early. She's in Intensive Care Nursery and will be there for quite a while. We won't be able to do any rituals until she gets home. Anything we can do in the meanwhile?"
"A charm amulet would be a good idea," Victor told him. "I think Bobby had some of those awhile back. There's not much else I can think of. Just be aware of the people who work around the baby in case the demon finds another way to get close."
"Will do. And you think this ritual you found will work when Rayna is home?"
"I think it's a good place to start. You know how the supernatural is. Sometimes we just have to adjust our plans as we go."
"I know. This baby is just so important," Caleb found himself scribbling on some mail on the table.
"Aren't they all?" Victor gave a chuckle. "I've got three of my own. That's why I want to be the one to help you with Rayna. I don't want anyone taking unnecessary chances with a little one."
"The Winchesters will be glad to hear that," Caleb realized that he knew all about Victor's hunting but absolutely nothing about his three kids. "I'll keep you updated."
"Good. I'll keep Rayna in my prayers."
"Thanks, Victor."
"No problem."
PART 77
Sam awoke and slowly untangled himself from Dean. He kissed Dean's sleeping form as he covered him up and slipped from the room. He grabbed a notebook from his book bag and called the number Nurse Nancy had given them.
"NICU."
"Hi, this is Sam Winchester, one of Rayna's dads. I'm calling to see how she's doing."
"There wasn't much change in the lung x-rays but we haven't had to increase the respirator settings or medications. She get agitated and has tried to extubate herself, so we had to sedate her a little."
"Is that unusual?" Sam knew there were so many questions that he could ask or should ask but couldn't think of all of them.
"No, Rayna's just a fighter. That's okay with us. We're keeping her comfortable. She's got company here, too."
"Yeah, John and Bobby," Sam immediately felt thankful for their presence there. "Has Emma called?"
"She did, Mr. Winchester," the nurse's voice sounded sympathetic. "She was in tears and I gave her the update that she wanted, but it isn't our usual way of handling moms who are giving their babies up."
"Emma isn't like other moms because she's practically family," Sam tried to explain.
"Okay. I'll make sure to pass that on."
"Does Nurse Nancy take over at 7PM or is there someone in between?"
"I'll be here until Nancy gets here. My name is Lucy."
"Thank you, Lucy. We'll be returning later today."
Sam hung up the phone and drug a hand down his face.
"Anything new?" Caleb popped his head around the corner.
"Other than she tried to extubate herself, no," Sam found that he had to smile at his daughter's determination.
"Bet John loved that," Caleb laughed as he went back to the living room.
Sam wrote down his notes and brought the notebook back into the bedroom with him. He set it by the bed and tried to crawl back in without disturbing Dean. Dean's hunting instincts were still good. He'd known as soon as Sam had walked out of the room.
"How's our baby?" Dean's voice was groggy.
"Tried to extubate herself," Sam gave Dean a smile. "Guess she's already trying to show them who is boss. They had to sedate her a little to make her comfortable. Otherwise, not much has changed. Dad and Bobby are still there. Emma called down for an update and they gave it to her even though Nurse Lucy had to tell me how it wasn't the usual way they handled moms who gave their babies up."
"I suppose it's not," Dean rolled to his side and leaned on his elbow. "But we're not like most folks. Does the nurse know that?"
"I told her," Sam nodded as he laid down to face Dean. "Do you feel like a daddy yet?"
"I love her and I know she's ours, but I don't really feel like a parent. Maybe I have to be able to hold her or take care of her first."
"I called to check on her, but that doesn't really make me feel like a dad. Then again, I'm the touchy, feely type."
Dean smiled at Sam and ruffled his hair, "I love that you are that way."
Sam laid his hand on Dean's cheek and Dean leaned into his touch. "You're going to be that way, too, with Rayna."
"You think so?"
"I don't think you're going to want to let anyone else hold her when we get her home."
Dean chuckled at that thought.
"Really," Sam insisted. "You think you've been protective of me, just wait until you get that baby in your arms. It'll be ten times worse."
"I'll let you hold her, Sam," Dean smiled. "But Dad and Bobby might have to be supervised."
"They've held babies before," Sam laughed a little. "They raised us."
"But we're boys. You have to be more careful with girls."
Sam snuggled closer into Dean. "Okay, Dean. You win. We'll treat her like china."
"I always win because I'm older."
***
"Let's go home, John," Bobby shook him awake. "We've been here long enough and Nurse Lucy seems to have it under control. You need some sleep in a real bed instead of this chair. The boys will be up before too long."
John's eyes were barely open as Bobby helped him to his feet.
"We'll be calling in later," Bobby told the nurse at the nurses' station. "We just need to get some sleep."
"Okay. We're always here if you need to call."
"Thanks," Bobby replied and John mumbled as they shuffled past.
Once they got to their room, Bobby noticed how John's shoulders were sagging. Bobby removed John's jacket,
"It's just us, Johnny. We're home."
John looked like he was going to just crumple into a pile before him. Bobby got John seated on the bed before undressing him.
"Bobby," John's voice sounded strangled.
Bobby quickly put John's shirt down on the floor as he looked into John's red eyes. "I'm right here," Bobby stroked John's cheek with his calloused thumb.
"I feel broken," a tear slid down John's cheek.
Bobby waited for more but John went silent. "It will get better, John."
John's head slowly nodded and Bobby made quick work of what else needed to be done before getting into bed. Bobby coaxed John into bed then tucked John in beside him.
Bobby kissed John's head which was on his shoulder. "Let the walls down, John." Bobby rubbed John's back as his sobs moved the bed. They came from way down deep. Years without Mary, regrets, and Rayna's tough start all came out.
Bobby held him until he'd cried himself out. "I love you, John Winchester," he whispered.
John tipped his chin up so he could face Bobby. "I love you, too."
Bobby gently kissed John. When John pressed on for entrance through Bobby's lips, they were opened. They clung to each other, breathing each other's air, and giving each other strength.
***
Dean phoned Mr. Steven and told him about Rayna. Mr. Steven was very sympathetic. Even though Dean said he'd be in for work in the morning and tried to be all business, Mr. Steven told him that he'd be able to leave any time that Rayna needed him. Dean voiced his thanks but his words didn't come even close to how he really felt. He knew how lucky he was to have Mr. Steven in his life. Dean was usually very wary of people, due to his upbringing, but he trusted Mr. Steven. It felt good to be able to trust someone that wasn't family or a hunter.
PART 78
Dean and Sam made it back to work and class. Sam read his textbooks aloud to Rayna just so she could hear his voice. He'd also picked up the 'Complete Adventures of Winnie the Pooh' and the 'Complete Collection of Beatrix Potter' with all her animal friends. It was hard to know what to say to Rayna, most of the time it was repeated versions of 'I love you' or 'I want you better and home'. For a break in that kind of conversation, Sam resorted to books. They were a light-hearted distraction for whoever read them to her, a way to bond with a baby that couldn't be held and the importance of words was never lost on Sam.
Sam was up at the NICU or in class. Dean was there when he wasn't at work. They usually left around 9PM to go home and sleep.
John and Bobby stayed the entire night shift. Bobby had talked to Caleb and brought Rayna a charmed amulet like Victor had suggested. They had told the nurses that it was a religious item. John and Bobby felt that if a demon were to try to get to Rayna, it would most likely be at night. Although the lights of the NICU never dimmed, it was just more logical to them as hunters that a demonic presence would come during the night shift, especially with a skeleton crew in the rest of the hospital.
***
Drew checked the room for anything they could have forgotten as the nurse gave Emma some handouts and explained to her what to expect after she got home. The nurses words droned on and Drew wondered what it would be like for Emma back at the Winchester's. He knew they'd take care of her. Hell, they'd take him in, too. His foggy mind lost his train of thought as he noticed that the nurse had stopped speaking and left the room.
"Did you get all that?" Drew asked Emma as he turned around.
Emma shrugged and shook her head. "My mind is upstairs with Rayna, not here listening to a nurse."
"Did you want to see Rayna?" Drew asked cautiously.
"No. I don't think so," Emma bit her lip. "Can we just go home?"
"Sure," Drew picked up Emma's bag. "We just need to have them wheel you out."
***
Drew brought Emma's bag in and then went back out to help Emma.
"Welcome home, Emma," Caleb greeted her. "I'll get your bag to your room."
"I need to go back to class," Drew explained. "I can come by later if you need me to."
"I'll be fine," Emma gave him a forced smile. "You need to get back to the books. I'll be good here. Just give me a call if you have time."
"I promise I'll call," Drew gave her a hug before he disappeared out the door.
Caleb came back to find Emma looking pale and fragile as she looked around the room. "Let me know if you need anything. That's what I'm here for."
Emma tried to smile but just looked sad and lost.
"Dean's at work and Sam's at school," Caleb started roll call because he didn't know what else to say. "John and Bobby are asleep but they'll be up around suppertime."
Emma slowly removed her coat. She winced when she reached to get her shoes off.
"Let me help with those," Caleb knelt on the floor in front of her so she could lean on him without having to bend too far as he slipped her shoes off.
"Thanks," her voice was quiet.
"Like I said, I'm here for whatever you need." Caleb stood and asked, "Do you need a pain pill?"
"I thought I'd be okay without one," Emma sighed.
"It's not like you've been out of bed much lately. This is the most activity you've done in awhile."
Emma seemed to be thinking it over.
"I can get you something to eat with it," Caleb offered. "What would you like?"
"Toast?"
"Anything on it?"
"Butter?"
"Anything else?"
Emma shook her head. "Just not feeling the best."
"Toast it is," Caleb went to the kitchen. Emma followed slowly and sat at the table.
"What to drink?" Caleb opened the fridge. "We have water, soda, milk."
"Soda would be good. My pills are in my bag."
"I'll go grab them," Caleb left Emma to eat while he went on a pill hunt.
Emma slowly ate her toast and tried to relax. She took her pill and went to sleep. Caleb was right. Just coming home was tiring.
Caleb sat in the quiet house and realized he had no clue how to help any of the people who lived there. He could help take care of their basic needs but could do nothing for the emotional pain that they felt.
***
Emma woke up and slowly made her way down the hall. Her stomach was growling and she needed another pill to make her comfortable. Caleb had been dozing on the couch and got up to see what Emma needed.
"Hungry again?" he asked hopefully as she looked in the fridge.
"Hurting more than anything."
"Then have a seat and let me get something for you. More toast?"
"Yes, please."
Caleb put the bottle of pills on the table by her as he grabbed her snack. "How did you sleep?"
"I'm just so tired. I can't wait to feel like myself again."
"It's going to take awhile," Caleb warned her.
Emma ate slowly as Caleb sat down at the table with her. He'd grabbed a muffin, thinking he'd just keep her company. Emma's mind had wandered to Rayna, and her emotions allowed her milk to flow.
Caleb happened to glance over at Emma and saw that her nightgown was getting wet. "Um, Emma," Caleb didn't know if he should bring it up so he waited until she'd had her toast and pill. "Your top there . . ."
Emma looked down and was horrified at what she saw. Part of her remembered being told that it would happen, but she panicked. She shot up, moved faster than what could even be thought of as comfortable, and closed herself in the bathroom.
Caleb watched her go down the hall, wondering what to do next. It had been years since he'd dealt with his ex-girlfriend and her post-pregnancy issues. It had been years since he'd dealt with woman, period. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing, but he went to the bathroom door and knocked. "Emma?"
He could hear sobs on the other side of the door.
"Emma? I'm sorry that I embarrassed you. Can I come in?"
More sobs.
"Okay, Emma. I'm coming in now," Caleb was surprised to find that the door hadn't been locked after all.
Emma stood there, arms wrapped around herself, tears streaming down her face.
"I know you probably wish you were anywhere but here," Caleb said softly. "I also know that I'm probably the
last person you want to talk to because you don't know me very well. But, I'm the only one here."
Emma looked at him and he reached out a hand to her shoulder to see how she'd react. She didn't pull away, so he loosely put his arms around her.
"It's just something natural that happens, Emma. It's going to be fine."
With that, Emma leaned against him and cried freely. Caleb made shushing noises as he rubbed her back and tried to calm her down.
When she seemed all cried out, Caleb asked her if she wanted to take a bath. Emma nodded somewhat hesitantly and Caleb started the water.
"I'll go get you some new clothes. I'll leave the door open a little. Just yell if you need any help."
Emma looked at him with a tear-stained face, "Thanks."
Caleb put the dishes in the sink and grabbed Emma fresh clothing.
“I’m just going to set your clothes here on the vanity,” Caleb called in to Emma. “Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah,” Emma replied with a sniffle.
Caleb found the sack under the sink and told her, “There are nursing pads and other feminine items by the sink, if you need them.”
“I didn’t get to go to the store yet.”
“I picked ‘em up for you. John gave me a list.”
“Oh, god!” Emma was mortified.
“It was just--I was just trying to help,” Caleb said mostly to himself as he heard Emma crying in her bath. He set the boxes down, walked over to the tub, and slid his back down the wall until he was sitting on the floor.
“You’re doing fine, Emma. It’s going to take time before you’re back to being yourself.”
“How do you know?”
“I had a son,” Caleb looked straight ahead as he spoke. “I was there when she was pregnant and when we brought him home from the hospital.”
“What happened?”
“Don’t know for sure. I think I had some growing up to do. Anyway, she left with him. I’m sure that her family has helped her give him a life way better than I ever could.”
“Do you miss him?”
“Sometimes I wonder what he’s like or if he looks like me. Most of the time I’m just sure that I made the right choice.”
“I know I’m making the right choice, but it isn’t easy when I’m constantly reminded about being pregnant.”
“Time will make it better,” Caleb realized he hadn’t talked about his son in a long time. “I know that much for sure.”
They sat there in an odd but comfortable silence, one on each side of the shower curtain.
PART 79
John woke up with Bobby's arm pulling him close. When John's life was falling around him, Bobby was his anchor. It only made sense that the older man would also show that characteristic in his sleep. It felt calming to be there, wrapped in Bobby's love and the space that the two of them had carved out as their own. In that space, neither expected the other keep up the facade that they showed the world. No one else knew of the calm and tenderness that existed there, even when the rest of the world seemed to have too much evil in it. John would have wanted to just stay there, except for the fact that his growling stomach was going to wake Bobby up before long. Dean got his appetite from his dad. It wasn't a fluke that Dean inhaled food.
John carefully freed himself from Bobby's grasp.
"John," Bobby whispered.
"I'm just hungry, baby," John covered Bobby back up. "Go back to sleep."
Bobby grumbled something about "damn Winchester stomach" before drifting back off.
***
John rapped softly on Emma’s door before opening it.
“You up for company?” John asked when he saw her sitting on her bed.
She just patted the mattress next to her. She was tired but unable to sleep.
“Let’s see here,” John moved so that he had an arm around her and she curled in so her head was resting on him. “Is that better?”
“Much,” her voice was quiet.
“I’m glad that you’re home,” Emma listened to John’s voice in stereo as it rattled in his chest. “I hear that you had a difficult afternoon, though.”
John held his other hand out to her, and she took it. “I’m just a leaky, icky mess,” she said.
“Oh, honey,” John sighed. “I wish my Mary was here to help you feel better. She’d know just what to say and do. But, you’re stuck in a house full of guys. It has to be tough. We’d do anything to make you feel better, if we just knew what it was.”
“How did this go with Mary?” Emma asked.
“She was a leaky, icky mess, too,” John chuckled a little. “That’s just the nature part. No lady escapes that part. It was easier for her because it was just the two of us in our home. When you’re married, you go through so many different things that leaking issues mean nothing.”
“Did she feel as disgusting as I do?”
“I imagine she did,” John thought back. “She didn't seem that way to me, though. I remember when she’d be up in the middle of the night to breastfeed Sammy. She was exhausted. When I sat down with my arm around her, watching her feed our son, it was one of her most beautiful moments. I would take Sam as soon as he was done so she could get some sleep. After Sam was back down, I’d go back to bed, put my arms around her and know what a lucky man I was.”
“So leaking didn’t gross you out?”
“It would take much more than that to gross out any man in this house,” John told her. “Caleb and I have had experience with this, but you know that the others would help any way they could. If you had questions, they would help you find the answers. You’re not expected to know everything or be able to handle it all. Your hormones are still going wacko on you.”
“I embarrassed myself in front of Caleb,” Emma sighed. “I don’t want to leave my room.”
“Caleb didn’t think anything about it. He thinks that he screwed up trying to help you.”
“He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then how ‘bout we go out there and have some supper?” John asked. “I know he was cooking something up when I came upstairs.”
John helped Emma up and they went into the kitchen.
“You guys hungry?” Caleb asked. “I’ve made plenty.”
“Yeah, we thought we’d join you,” John pulled a chair out for Emma. “What’s on the menu for tonight?”
“Hamburger Helper,” Caleb smiled. “I’m a gourmet chef, you know.”
They laughed and it was great to see Emma happy.
***
Dean and Sam sat by Rayna, watching the machines and making small talk about their day.
“I read Rayna some law today,” Sam told Dean. “Maybe she will want go into it one day.”
“She might want to go into ‘Winnie the Pooh’ or ‘Beatrix Potter’ too according to her reading material,” Dean smiled. “Have Dad or Bobby started reading either of those?”
“There’s a bookmark in ‘Beatrix Potter’, so one of them did.”
Dean threaded his fingers through Sam’s. “So what’s our little girl been up to today?”
“The hole in her heart is closing. Lungs look a little better. Respirator settings have gone down a little. They have something called CPAP that is a step down from a respirator that would be the next step. It would make her look like a Snork.”
“Did she gain or lose weight today?”
“Lost a little more. That’s to be expected. She’ll gain it back,” Sam assured him.
“Any new tests we’re waiting for?”
“They’ll do an MRI or ultrasound to check her brain tomorrow.”
“Is there something wrong with her brain?” Dean gripped Sam’s hand tighter and sat straight up.
“It’s just to check for a possible problem,” Sam told him. “Apparently after a certain number of days on a respirator they need to check the brain for bleeds.”
“So now we just worry until we get the results,” Dean looked over at Sam.
“You’ve got it,” Sam put a hand on the back of Dean’s neck and pulled him close. “We’re truly parents now. We just worry and wait.”
They sat there, huddled together in the middle of the crowd of nurses and machines.
"She's beautiful, ain't she?" Dean smiled as he looked at her. He'd acquired the ability to see past the machines to the little girl lying there instead.
"Yeah, she is," Sam was able to see more of the baby than the machines, too.
"What do you think we should put in the nursery?"
"A crib, dresser, toy box-" Sam started to answer when Dean cut him off.
"I mean like a theme," Dean explained. "Don't they decorations and bedding that have Barbie or princesses on them?"
"Yeah, I guess so. Why? What theme were you thinking of?"
"Definitely something girly. Lots of pink. I'm leaning toward princess." Dean looked at Sam. "What do you think?"
"Princess is good," Sam nodded. "We'll have to go out shopping and see what they have."
"Dad and Bobby would probably like to come, too. They act like grumpy old men but you just know they're gonna melt when she comes home. Could probably use their help putting together a crib anyway."
"We'll just need a crib and bedding to start out with since she'll be in our room."
"We need to get her some clothes." Dean laughed and added, "I want to see her in an itty bitty pair of blue jeans."
"You gonna put holes in them for her?" Sam smiled.
"Maybe." Dean beamed, "My baby girl's gonna be so cool."
PART 80
Drew phoned Emma to see how she was. It was after supper and being around Caleb hadn't been awkward. Emma was feeling better with something more than toast in her stomach.
"Did you want me to come over?" Drew offered.
"No, I'm fine, Drew. How does it feel to be home?"
"Weird. Like I should be over there."
"Then come over," Emma told him. "You could probably sleep in the recliner."
"Okay, I'll head over in a few."
Emma hung up and went to the living room to tell them that Drew was coming over.
"I was wondering where he was for supper," Caleb commented. "He knows he can have the recliner, right?"
"I think he's counting on it since I already told him he could," Emma hoped she hadn't told Drew the wrong thing.
"Good," Bobby said. "Can't have that boy worrying about what's going on over here when he can just be here and know that everything is fine."
"How is Rayna?" Emma's voice was quiet but they all heard her. "No one has mentioned her around me, and I appreciate that. But, I'd like to know."
"I have a picture," John went to his coat. "Would you like to see it?"
Emma nodded.
John handed her the picture and pointed out what the different machines were for. Emma started to cry.
"She's so small," Emma could hardly get the words out.
"But she's holding her own. It's going to take a long time, but she'll be home and in Sam and Dean's arms. I imagine Bobby and I will have to stand in line and wait our turn to hold her."
"Don't know about you, but I ain't above picking up a sleeping baby just so I can hold 'em," Bobby added his two cents.
Emma had to smile at Bobby's determination.
***
Nurse Nancy explained the CPAP to Sam and Dean before they put Rayna on it. They watched her struggle as she tried to adjust to the change. Nurse Nancy gave Rayna a sedative so she wouldn't fight the CPAP. Dean and Sam stayed until Rayna had calmed down. They didn't realize they'd been holding their breath until they let it out when Rayna settled in.
"How do we know she's ready for this?" Sam asked.
"The doctor thinks that she is," Nurse Nancy explained as she tidied up Rayna's open bed.
"What if she's not?" Dean asked as he watched Rayna's chest move up and down.
"Then we'll call you for permission to put her back on the vent. She's been breathing with the vent, so CPAP is the proper thing to do. We can always go back to the vent if we need to."
"And you have all our numbers?" Dean asked.
"Right here," the nurse showed him a list attached to Rayna's chart. They had their home number, Dean's work, Dean's cell, Sam's cell, John's cell, Bobby's cell and Caleb's cell.
"Looks good," was all Dean could say as he realized that Rayna probably had the most contact numbers of any baby in the nursery.
They wrote down the time for Rayna's MRI and when the results should be back. Sam said he'd be up there after class and would be there before the results were ready. Dean made Sam promise to call him as soon as he got them. He'd be up right after work, like usual.
***
Sam and Dean drove up to a full house.
"Drew's here," Sam said. "He must have brought Emma home today."
"Really?" Dean put his keys in his pocket. He took Sam's hand as they walked up to the house. "Let's go see how she's doing."
Bobby, John, Caleb, Drew and Emma were in the living room visiting and the talking stopped when Sam and Dean walked in. They looked at the boys for any new news.
"Rayna's doing good," Dean told them. "They're trying to move her off the vent to CPAP and she's as cute as could be. We can see some more of her face with the CPAP."
"That's great," Emma walked over to Dean and gave him a hug. "I'm so glad that she's doing well." She gave Sam a squeeze, too. "John showed me a picture. She is a cutie."
Dean gave John a questioning look and John just shrugged.
"How are you doing?" Sam asked as he released Emma. "You're looking good."
"Haha, Sam. I've seen myself in a mirror," Emma smiled. "It's going to take awhile before I'm back on my feet but I've been told that it will happen."
"And we'll be here the whole way," Sam gave her another hug.
Dean asked John in a hushed voice, "Why did you show her a picture? How is she doing with her separation from Rayna?"
"She asked about Rayna and when I asked if she wanted to see a picture, she did. She knows she made the best choice. She's just worried about Rayna like the rest of us. Hormones aren't being kind to her. Remember that."
Dean nodded. He turned to Bobby, "I saw the charmed amulet. Thanks for doing that."
"We're family, Dean. That's what we do," Bobby's warm smile reminded Dean that he'd always had the Winchesters' backs.
"So which one of you has been reading 'Beatrix Potter'?" Dean couldn't help but ask.
"Both of us," Bobby answered proudly. "When one gets tired of reading, the other takes over."
"Those little animals have quite the personalities," John added. "I'll let you boys do 'Winnie the Pooh'."
"Sam's been reading law to her," Dean told them.
"You want to give her nightmares?" Drew piped in. "Read her something else, dude. Tell her a fairy tale or something."
"Okay. I'll only read her law when I have to read it myself," Sam conceded. "I want her to know my voice." Sam's voice cracked a little.
Dean put an arm around him and said softly, "She knows your voice, Sammy. She knows when you're there and she knows you're her daddy. She's a smart gal." Sam nodded and recovered from his moment of weakness.
"Well, Bobby," John stood up. "It's time for our shift at NICU. Ready to ogle the nurses?"
"You're the one who ogles the nurses," Bobby replied. "Especially Nurse Nancy."
"Dad has a thing for Nurse Nancy?" Dean laughed.
"I'm only fond of her because she takes such great care of Rayna. She is a nice lady."
"Yeah, she is," Sam agreed. "Just remember who you come home to."
Bobby blushed and John said, "I'd never forget that."