my_sam_dean (my_sam_dean) wrote in wincest_is_best, @ 2008-05-14 09:25:00 |
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It was months after Dad's death that the Impala drove into yet another dot on a map. They were tired. So, so tired.
Dean pulled into a parking spot and looked at Sam, "This suit you?"
"Sure," Sam shrugged. He didn't really care.
Dean went to the office and instead of motioning for Sam to follow him to the room, Dean got back in the car.
"You doing okay, man? You haven't said much all day. That's very odd for you."
"Just weary," Sam tried to smile.
"Did you get hurt and not tell me?" Dean went into over-protective big-brother mode.
"I'm not hurt, Dean. We've just been moving constantly, for so long now."
"I thought it made you feel better to be working. Less time to be thinking and missing Dad," Dean was confused.
"Working doesn't make that go away for me, Dean. I need a couple good nights' sleep where we aren't chasing something in the dark. Just a break. Don't you need one?"
Dean cleared his throat and put an arm on the back of the seat. "I've been able to keep going, hunting instead of getting lost in my own head, because I just need you."
Sam looked at him, squinting a little.
"All of our lives, other people have drifted in and out. You're all I've ever needed to feel at home. When you want to Stanford . . . " Dean looked sad as he brushed his thumb against Sam's cheek.
Sam leaned into Dean's touch.
"You're all I've wanted, Sam, for so long. I don't remember when it started anymore, it's just been a part of me for years."
Sam looked up at Dean through wet lashes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm just amazed that you're not bolting out that door right now," Dean gave a nervous chuckle. "Part of me thought I'd get punched for saying this much."
"No. I'm just glad that you told me now. Even when I was gone to college, I needed you. I'd open my phone only to find your number and not call."
"I wish you would have made those calls," Dean rested his hand against the back of Sam's neck. He caressed Sam's skin and toyed with the hair that touched his collar. "I can live with us just knowing this now."
"I've just wanted . . . you," Sam's voice squeaked slightly as he softly touched his lips to Dean's. He opened his eyes and broke the kiss so he could look into Dean's eyes and see his reaction. All he saw was love.
He placed a hand on the shoulder of Dean's leather jacket, supple and warm. He leaned in closer, keeping eye contact with Dean as he kissed him softly. When Sam's eyes fluttered open, he saw the smoky want in Dean's eyes.
Dean pulled Sam into an embrace, breathing in the scent of him. When he loosened his grip, Sam put a hand on his cheek, studying Dean's face.
"Sam?" Dean's voice was quiet.
"I'm just so relieved and happy. You've always taken care of me . . . I sometimes used to dream . . ."
"Me, too," Dean took Sam's lips with his and kissed him deeply. Sam responded in kind. When Dean's hand slid to the bulge in Sam's jeans, Sam couldn't breathe. "Is this okay?" he whispered in their close proximity.
"More than okay," Sam had difficulty forming the words.
"I think we just scared another guest," Dean had the decency to blush as he noticed the little old lady who couldn't walk fast enough away from them. He tried to hide behind Sam.
"Maybe we should go inside," Sam offered.
"Are you going to feel the same about me outside of the car?" Dean asked, not wanting to lose the moment they had.
"It's ingrained in me, Dean. I don't just feel this way in the Impala. It's everywhere I go," he ran his fingers through Dean's short hair. "Didn't you know that?"
"I just wanted to make sure--"
"I know. But, now that we've been spotted, I'd rather be inside."
"Oh, Sammy. You always were a little on the shy side."
Sam rolled his eyes and got out of the car. Once he'd dropped his bag, he took Dean's face in his hands.
"All my life, I've wanted to see you looking at me this way," Sam whispered.
"I've just been good at hiding it, Sammy. I promise not to hide it anymore," Dean placed a hand on Sam's arm. "No more pretending that we don't feel this."
"No more pretending and no regrets," Sam corrected him. "I love you, Dean."
"I love you, too," Dean led Sam to a bed, laid down, and pulled Sam down beside him.