At the sight of Elise's dainty little lady fangs, Jake's pupils slanted. His eyes took on a golden glow and all of his teeth sharpened into catlike points. Because Jake could do that too, he could do that even more, and he was really really mature for his age. He winked a cat eye at her before he retracted in turn. When Elise made her bloody mary joke, Jake moved his head all the way to the side and gave her a sidelong glance.
“See, with that fang action, you could have had your way with me,” Jake said. He displayed the many fine veins in his arms and tapped his neck. Then Jake grimaced and winced for her. “But then you called me Mary.” At her Jesse conclusion, Jake nodded. “Agreed. Let's just stake him when we get home. Keep him on ice until the statute of limitations is up. Then if he'll release you from the bond, we'll release him from the stake” It wouldn't even be that hard. Jake meant, if Elise could beat him up.....
When she asked about love at first sight, Jake's eyes widened and he shook his head. “I hope that's made up. That would be terrifying.” Love was this big, serious thing that changed people. If Jake fell in love, he'd be someone else. Or he wouldn't be someone else, and then he'd let the person he loved down. Or he'd love her more than she loved him and then he'd always be miserable. Or even worse, she'd love him more than he loved her, and he'd do stupid things for her anyway, and then she'd die and then he'd just have to live with that forever. Jake took another drink. “I think love is great. I'm all for love. For other people. It's not a panther thing but for humans it's cool. But not Romeo and Juliet insane love. That's not love. He offed himself because he couldn't imagine living without her. But he'd never even lived with her. He'd never done her laundry when she didn't have time. He'd never even come through for her. He was late to the whole sleep draught drinking thing when it was important. The only thing he ever really did for her was kill himself and she didn't even want him to do that. Then she had to kill herself too. Worst boyfriend ever.”
Jake cared that Abbie cared because it was stupid for Abbie to care, but he let Elise continue. When she went off on the vows tangent, Jake just took another sip of alcohol. “I'll tell Lanie's grandsons when you marry the five of them.” No obedience vows for Elise, even if it went both ways. Got it. As for the rest of it, Jake shook his head. “I know she's not married yet,” Jake said. “But that doesn't mean I want to be that guy. The guy who's like..'Well, she's not married yet. She just promised to marry him. I can still kiss her even if she's got some other guy's ring on her finger and he's the one she's going home to after this. No big deal.' That guy sucks. Especially if the girl's not even having it. Or worse, they both place, but that guy's second and the fiance at home is first. Even if he's not doing anything, no one wants to be that guy either. Whether second place means anything or not. I don't want to be a....what's the male word for mistress?...mastress? I don't want to be anyone's mastress. I don't want to be that.” She was going to make fun of him. But hopefully, if they kept going, they wouldn't even remember this tomorrow. He nodded. “Yes,” Jake answered. “On both.” Jake would rather Abbie didn't care about him at all than that she cared about him second. And his work too.
In the quiet moment that followed, Jake looked at her. “I have yours too.”