Nov 2, 2013 [SYN]
WHO: Melody Carter, Daniel Jensen, TBD WHAT: Saving a life. WHEN: Nov 2, 2013, sometime after 9pm. WHERE: Melody's Apartment. RATING: WARNING - High rating, trigger warnings for attempted suicide and various forms of self injury. STATUS: Closed/Incomplete
Melody didn't remember most of Halloween. It was probably better that she didn't, really. She woke up on the 1st still more drunk than she'd ever been in her entire life and spent most of that day alternatively throwing up and sleeping. Her dreams were filled with nightmares - all of Luke being tortured on her behalf. She woke up crying frequently, but her body's clear intolerance to that level of alcohol kept her from being a useful member of the Syndicate, society, whatever, for far longer than she would have liked. She couldn't form successful thoughts, and she couldn't quite remember why she was so worried about Luke in the first place. They were just dreams, after all. That's not what would happen...
But when she had her first un-fuzzy thought, sometime in the wee hours of November 2nd, Melody realized that it would all be true. She had told William about Luke, and William had freaked out. Melody couldn't be the one to be cautious and careful, test his loyalties, because she trusted him more than she trusted William - which was saying a lot. So William was going to send someone to do it for her. And there it was, all Melody's fault. She didn't know what they would do to him - her initial interview to get into the Syndicate hadn't been atrocious but it certainly wasn't pleasant, either. This was something else. What would they do to him, to make sure they could trust him? How do you even measure that in an interview?
For the rest of the day, she obsessed about it. She didn't want to contact Luke - what would she say? Hey, I sent the Syndicate after you because of your abilities and the information I know - have they come yet? No, she couldn't ask him. She thought this would take a bit to set up, and one thing after another, Melody finally found her solution. Suicide. If she were out of the picture, they would leave Luke alone. He would pose no threat to them, right? She couldn't just leave the Syndicate, though, they would probably kill her for that. So she would just have to do the job herself.
From that moment on, she planned. It was a surprisingly easy thing to do. For once, she felt very detached from what was going on. It was like all the bullshit in her life was accumulating to this - the one good thing she would do for someone else. She wrote a long, elegant note to Luke to say goodbye. She fished out every pill she could in her cabinets. It probably wasn't enough, but they were hardcore sleep aids and anti-anxiety medications. They were potent. She dismantled a new razor, taking the three small blades out from its plastic shell casing and setting them by the bathtub.
Everything was pretty much ready. She didn't bother to do much else. No make-up, wearing just jeans and a t-shirt. That wasn't part of this ritual - instead, she grabbed her cell phone and sent a text message to William. She couldn't do this without thanking him, and saying bye. William had done a lot for her, it was only right that he deserve some sort of explanation from her. Once the message was sent, she locked her front door and went about the business of killing oneself.
The pills were all downed rather quickly. Probably eight of them in total. She got into the bath, the water running. She didn't take off her clothes - got right on in with her jeans and blue t-shirt and everything. Thin razorblades were shoved hard against her skin, cutting down vertically. Down the street, not across the road, she remembered, a young girl taunting another girl over and over at the hospital. "Thanks for the advice." She said softly, tracing the same line over and over, before switching to the other arm and doing the same thing.
All she could think was that she'd never seen so much red.