Another groan at her words and he slumped further down in her couch. This was not, by any stretch of the imagination, a conversation that he wanted to have. Not now and preferably not ever. How did she manage to rope him into this? Clever lady, he decided as he had during numerous conversations before today. Her points about the nature of relationships bounced off of him, as if he had another kind of forcefield that left him immune. Despite her sound advice, he couldn’t overcome the notion that some people in this world weren’t meant to be one half of a steady relationship. Arguing the point with her would do him no good, he realized. He opted to completely gloss over her encouragement, despite feeling touched when she deemed him both smart and amazing.
But Emily did not pull any punches. He wondered at the way she tossed the word “love” around, like it was that simple. His experience told him otherwise. With telepathy as strong as his, he may have been capable of blocking her out, shutting down the conversation entirely, but that could only be described as a stupidly childish reaction. Nikolai continued to listen, despite his growing discomfort.
Until Ferran’s name made its debut into their conversation, that is. As soon as it entered his mind, he stiffened, shoulders suddenly absorbing all that tension he wanted to drain away. This was not the way a relaxing Sunday morning should start. Ferran? The way he zeroed in on his friend’s name before anything else probably spoke volumes about his attachment to the other man. Certainly more than his words did. I’m afraid I don’t follow. He and I, we’ve been friends for a very long time. Since we were kids. His words, he hoped, were laden with the implication that it wasn’t possible, that any opportunity was long gone.
Without so much as a pause, Nikolai barreled on as if to prevent her from dwelling on Ferran. Besides I’m not looking for a romantic relationship and I don’t think anyone should pursue one with me. More words left unspoken. He wanted those words to put an end to this discussion, wishing she’d sense (and heed) his desire to move on to a new topic.
Still, his heart was in his throat the moment he allowed his thoughts to drift toward Ferran. The irresistible urge to check his phone swept over him, just in case there was a text message from him waiting. Relenting, Nikolai slipped the phone out of his back pocket. His fingers punched in the code to unlock it, despite the fact that nothing indicated he had new messages. Instead, he merely retraced their conversation from last night, a fond smile stealing over his lips. Contemplating the idea of a relationship with Ferran filled him with equal parts excitement and fear. Thanks to Emily, he couldn't keep himself from contemplating it right now. He rested his phone on his thigh and returned his attention once again to the coffee in his hands.