Ferran wondered at the nervousness he sensed from Nikolai. Perhaps he imagined it... If you'd still like to paint on me, he responded. It's nice.
He refrained from mentioning how much he enjoyed having Nikolai's hands all over him. Thoughts like that were the reason he wanted to leave. It wasn't right to think like that. Nikolai didn't need Ferran's problems on top of his own. Maybe it wouldn't take much longer and Ferran could be out of there before he did something truly regrettable. Problem was he never wanted to leave Nikolai's side. Time with the other man usually ended with Ferran feeling the odd mix of anxiousness and elation.