Ferran immediately regretted speaking. He wanted Nikolai in his head. Sorry, he apologized, pulling his eyes back to his friend. Whether he was apologizing for almost kissing him or sitting up, Ferran was unsure. He gave Niko a weak smile, sadness tinged his eyes. He hated being so close, yet so distant. If only he could simply pull the other man into his arms and be honest with him. He didn't think Nikolai would want that though.
What's next? he asked, hoping his question would distract from his lapse in judgement. Ferran turned to lay prone on his stomach again.