Friday, November 8, 2013
Who: Ben and Daniel What: someone’s had time to think, and is MORE upset as a result! Theme song: In the Absence of Sun. When: Friday, November 8, 2013 Where: Daniel’s apartment Rating: plenty of cursing, but that's it Status: gdoc/closed
Ben was pissed. Usually, a little time and space helped someone to calm down, but the combination of those things just made Ben more angry. He thought about all the times Daniel could have said something. No, they hadn’t been dating all that long, but they’d had some really emotional conversations that involved heavy discussion of trust. Each would have been a golden opportunity to confess. If there was anyone Daniel could trust, it was Ben, yet he hadn’t.
Leaving his apartment late at night, Ben banged on Daniel’s door. Honestly, he didn’t care if someone saw/heard him. Ben needed answers right fucking now.
It’s not like Daniel slept well at night since his confrontation with Ben about his true role at the Syndicate. Every night he replayed how it happened and how he could have done it better. Well he knew how, he could have trusted Ben and told him sooner. He had for so long built up walls to keep him safe from discovery, trusting no one….. But Ben had been different and he should have known that.
The banging on his door alarmed him, sending him into a panic. Had Alex gotten to Ben? Were they coming to kill him? With a gun in his hand, he crept to the door and listened. If it had been a team, they were oddly silent. Taking a quick peek through the security hole, he saw Ben standing alone. Just Ben. Keeping the firearm in his hand, he opened the door. “What’s wrong?” he asked in a hushed tone.
Ben shoved the door open with force and stomped inside. “You owe me a better explanation. That’s what’s wrong. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner? I gave you every opportunity, and not once did I give you a reason to think I couldn’t be trusted with this.” It was clear that Ben had been drinking. He smelled like hard liquor, and his cheeks were flushed from the alcohol and the anger he felt. He’d been drinking most nights since his last chat with Daniel. It was the only way to fall asleep.
Daniel closed the door and put the handgun on a table close by, next to his keys. “Ben, please. Put yourself in my shoes for just a second. I’ve been here over four years and I haven’t told anyone. A total of four people knew I was here before I told you: myself and three high ups at the school. That was done to keep me alive Ben,” he said tiredly.
He ran his hands over his face. He was just so tired. “I was beginning to think I really belonged here. And then …. you and me,” he said, careful not to say ‘us’. He could smell the alcohol and didn’t want to have things explode. “I made a mistake. I know that now. But I can’t change it.”
Ben’s secret wasn’t the same, but it did make him sympathetic. However, he’d been honest with Daniel, and he expected the same in return. “You should have fucking told me sooner!” he said, shoving Ben when he did. “It’s all so fucked up now, and it’s your fault. And I don’t know if I can get past this!” Ben didn’t even know if he wanted to. Part of him just wanted to get in his car and start driving. To drive as long as he could and never look back. It hurt so bad.
The difference was Ben’s secret wouldn’t get him executed if the wrong person found out. He leaned against the kitchen counter and nodded. “I know it is,” he said softly. He knew he was to blame for all of this. He also knew better than try to touch Ben to get him to calm down. He deserved the right to be angry. Daniel could hardly blame him. “I want to fix it but only if you want me to try. If not, I understand.” If Ben couldn’t get past this, Daniel couldn’t stay. The risk was too high.
Daniel’s calm reaction only made things worse. “How? How the fuck do you expect to fix this! What could you possibly do or say to make me trust you again?” Ben’s tone was not just angry, it was pleading, because he really wanted to know. He needed to know that it was possible, because it didn’t feel like it right now.
He turned away, fingers scratching roughly over his scalp as he paced for a moment. “I was falling in love with you,” he said so soft, it was barely a whisper. “I thought...I felt like,” he sighed and rubbed his face. “Things were so good.”
He gave up and reached for Ben, putting his hands on Ben’s shoulders and holding him fast. “I don’t know,” he said firmly. He was exhausted and far from calm but there was only so much he could do. “I have been trying to figure this out because I don’t want to be without you, Ben. You made everything better. I feel the same way about you.” He refused to say he felt because he was still in love with Ben. He never stopped. “I needed you to know because if I didn’t, it wouldn’t have been real. Not completely.”
Ben refused to look at Daniel, but he didn’t pull away. Despite all his anger, there was a bit of comfort to be found in having Daniel’s hands on his shoulders like that. He was at a loss though. It was too much. His first real relationship hadn’t been real at all. “It wasn’t real. It was a lie. You knew all along. What was your plan?” Ben had known from that first kiss that he wanted to be with Daniel for the long haul. If Daniel had felt the same way, then what the fuck did he expect to happen? Was he going to lie forever? Or did he just figure they wouldn’t last that long?
”Ben, can’t you see?” Daniel asked, the pain clear in his voice. “If I didn’t tell you everything would have been built on lies. This way…. I wanted the choice to be yours. If you knew everything and still wanted to be with me…” his voice trailed off. “I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. I want you to know the real me. Was I wrong to want that?”
“I don’t know if I want to be with you! How can I? I don’t know what was real,” he said in a softer voice, rubbing his face again. It felt hot. Actually, he felt warm all over. Probably from too much alcohol. Or was he getting sick? All the stress had taken its toll on his immune system, and he wasn’t sleeping properly. It didn’t matter.
Ben’s words stung but again, it was his right. Daniel moved his hand to Ben’s neck in a moment of tenderness but his skin was warm. Now worry filled his tone. “Are you sick?” he asked gently, moving his hand to Ben’s forehead. “You are burning up.” One more thing Daniel felt terrible about. Had this not come to pass, he could have kept better tabs on Ben.
Turning his head, because he didn’t like being treated like a child, Ben gruffly said, “I’m fine. Just drunk.” He could admit to that much. He’d been drinking a lot the last few nights and taking aspirin each morning to cope with hangovers so he could do his job. Pretending nothing was wrong was just plain impossible, but Ben hadn’t been questioned by too many people about his shitty attitude.
”Come sit down,” he said. He wasn’t going listen to Ben argue. He was drunk and sick so his natural defenses were down. What did people even take for illness? It wasn’t anything Daniel was prepared for due to his powers. Their argument would have to wait - Daniel wanted to do everything he could to make Ben healthy again.
He led Ben to the couch and planted him on it. “Stay there,” he said. He knew he had some soup in the kitchen but was that what you did to someone who was sick?
Their brief argument had taken the wind out of Ben’s sails. He was fairly obedient as Daniel escorted him to the sofa and forced him to sit down. Ben practically melted into the cushions. He was tired and dizzy.
As Daniel did whatever the fuck he was doing, because Ben wasn’t sure, the sick man moved to lie down on the couch, curling up as he did so. The apartment smelled like Daniel, which was comforting. Ben had come to like Daniel’s apartment much more than his own. It was warm and inviting. It felt like a home.
He watched Ben lay down and before continuing, he grabbed a warm blanket and lay it over Ben’s body. He then went to work on his phone to figure out what to do. Soup was actually an option, which he put on his mental back burner for later perhaps but he saw a recipe for a hot toddy that might help Ben sooner than soup would. Hot water, honey, brandy.. he could do that.
Looking at Ben again he watched him as much as he could as he got the drink together. The microwave served to warm the water while he prepped the mug for the drink. Once he added the water, he added a little cinnamon for - what? An added touch?
Kneeling in front of the couch, he touched Ben’s cheek gently. “Ben, try to sit up to drink this,” he said softly. “It’s supposed to help.”
Who was Ben to argue? He was a mess right now, and it helped having someone look after him. No, he didn’t fully trust Daniel, but he wasn’t at risk of being killed in his sleep or poisoned. Daniel had every reason to be good to Ben right now. Daniel was still in apology mode. This was part of it.
He sat up and rubbed his face again, feeling the heat that was trapped under his skin. Ben didn’t know what was in the mug, but he drank it. He made a face, not liking the taste, and handed it back to Daniel. “I’m drunk enough. I don’t need more booze.”
He put his hands on Ben’s and gently moved them closer. “No I know but it will help until I can get some soup going for you. You want something hot to get stuff moving and open so you can get better.” He was reminded of something that his parents would eventually try on him as a boy. “Just a few more big drinks, please? Then we’ll get some food into you.”
“Hot stuff?” Ben shook his head. “No, it’s…” shit, he was cold. He had the chills. So Ben relented. He took the mug from Daniel again and drank the rest of it. It tasted terrible in his opinion. When the mug was empty, he handed it back to Daniel. “I’m not really hungry. Just tired and dizzy.”
He took the mug and put it on the table then turned back to Ben. Daniel’s couch was comfortable as he could attest to from numerous naps on it. He guided Ben to lay back down. “Come on, lay down then. Let me get you covered up,” he said softly, never raising his voice. Covering him as promised, he again put his hand to Ben’s forehead. “Try to sleep, ok?” He stood to get more blankets for Ben, nearly cocooning him on the couch.
The couch was comfortable. The blankets were warm. And Daniel’s touch was gentle. It lulled Ben into a drowsy state. But when Daniel came over to wrap more blankets around Ben, Ben reached out and took hold of Daniel’s hand. “I’m still mad.” His words were soft, lacking venom this time.
He took Ben’s hand gratefully. “I know,” he said rubbing his thumb along the back of Ben’s hand. “But try to sleep, ok? I’m gonna be right here if you need anything. You can be mad at me again tomorrow but right now, just sleep.” He was reluctant to release Ben’s hand, fearing he’d never again hold it. Instead he crouched down to sit on the floor next to the couch. He’d camp out there the rest of the night if need be.
Nodding, Ben closed his eyes. He kept hold of Daniel’s hand, because it felt good when everything else felt like shit. When Ben was sick as a child, a nanny was there to care for him. His mother wasn’t unloving, but she’d never been all that good at comforting. Henry said it was important for Ben to take care of himself. The man insisted that too much coddling would make his son weak. Thankfully, Ben’s nanny spoke very little English, or at least pretended that was the case. So she was able to ignore Henry’s orders and comfort Ben whenever he was ill or upset. She would hold him, fetch blankets and warm drinks as Daniel did, and play with his hair until he fell asleep. Ben could picture her now, and it helped him to drift away.
Daniel sat with his back to the couch with Ben’s arm draped over his shoulder and holding his hand to his chest. Every time Ben moved in his sleep, Daniel would look over his shoulder to make sure Ben was still sleeping. At some point he drifted off into a light sleep that allowed his body to recover for the night. He didn’t worry about waking up in this position and what it would do to his legs and back in the morning.
Ben only slept a few hours. He couldn’t say how many for sure, but it was still dark outside when he opened his eyes. Stirring, he realized he was on a couch. Daniel’s couch. That’s when his memories returned to him. Ben looked over and saw that Daniel was sleeping in the most awkward position with his back pressed against the front of the sofa, his head tilted painfully to the side. “Daniel,” he whispered, lightly touching the other man’s shoulder.
Daniel woke with a start, turning to see if Ben was alright. He didn’t mean to fall asleep and he wondered how long he’d been out. “I’m sorry. Are you alright? Are you still cold?” he asked, still on the floor but trying to stretch out at the same time in case he needed to get up to get something. “Do you need another drink?”
“No, I’m fine. You should go to bed. There’s no reason for you to sleep on the floor.” Ben wasn’t dying. He was just sick. A cold was hardly the end of the world, and it would be gone within twenty-four hours. Having accelerated healing as a mutation meant that while he could still get sick, he recovered quickly.
He reached up and touched Ben’s forehead. It was still warm but not as warm as Daniel remembered. “I’m alright,” he said looking at Ben and into his eyes. He missed the warmth in them that he used to see. The tenderness that Ben has for Daniel was gone. “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t need anything.”
Ben’s eyes closed while Daniel felt his head, then opened again to find Daniel staring intently. “Really, I’m okay. It’s probably just a cold, or the flu. I’ll be better by this time tomorrow.” He breathed deeply, pulling the covers up to his chin. He still felt cold on this inside, even though his skin was hot to the touch. Fucking fever.
”If memory serves, a fever means flu not just a cold,” he said, worry still pretty plain in his voice. “And that will lower your defenses to fight anything else off.” He tucked the blankets around Ben, keeping him bundled up. “You should probably have some water at least. Just to keep hydrated.”
“Yeah, alright,” Ben said. Daniel likely wouldn’t take no for an answer. So Ben let the guy get up and get him some water. While Daniel was doing that, Ben sat up and adjusted the blankets. He also kicked off his shoes, which he’d slept in. He might not be staying too long, but it felt weird to keep his shoes on for as long as he was stuck on the couch.
Slowly standing, his body protested but he tried to hide it best he could as he walked slowly to the kitchen to get Ben some water. He figured it would be best to use something like a sports bottle so it could just stay next to Ben and not have to worry about it spilling.
On his return, he noted Ben had moved and only when he saw the shoes did he clue in that Ben was going to continue to sleep on the couch. “If you’re not comfortable, I can sleep out here and you can sleep in the bed,” he offered.
Ben rolled his eyes. “I’m not kicking you out of your bed. I’m fine.” He should have just gone back to his own apartment, and was still considering it, but Ben liked Daniel’s apartment better. Sipping at the sports bottle, Ben realized he still felt dizzy, and he had a growing headache. “Do you have something I can take for my head?” Given that Daniel didn’t get sick or injured, he might not have any painkillers.
”Uh, lemme check. I might actually,” he said turning to head to the bathroom. He didn’t remember where it turned up but a bottle of advil appeared in his gym bag and he never got rid of it but stashed it away. He dug around in the drawer before finding it. It was still sealed so he felt comfortable offering it to Ben. “It should help. I mean I think it will. Maybe it’s like soup and it’s all mental or something.”
Ben popped open the container and then tossed a few pills back with the water. “Thanks.” After a brief pause, he elaborated, “Not just for the drugs, but...all this. For taking care of me.” It clearly made Ben uncomfortable to talk about, but he did anyway. “The only other person to took care of me when I was sick was my nanny.”
Daniel sat on the chair next to the couch, keeping a watchful eye on Ben. He was pretty sure it was just the flu but what if it wasn’t and they were treating it all wrong. It wasn’t that Daniel was dumb (not that he didn’t feel stupid), he just didn’t have any need for this sort of knowledge. “I can’t imagine that,” he said softly. Parents who didn’t tend to their children’s needs… why have them?
Ben drank more of the water and rested his head back against the cushions. “I bet your parents were great. That’s why you’re like this...and why you were willing to..you know.” He didn’t want to say it. Shit, maybe the shouldn’t discuss any of this here. What if people were spying on them?
He gave Ben a soft smile and a nod. “The were. But after awhile I didn’t get sick so it wasn’t an issue,” he said with a shrug. “But yes, they are why.” He left it at that. There wasn’t a reason to talk about the whys and hows. It was what it was and they had to get through it. “Do you need more blankets?”
“No, I’m good,” was all he said in return. Ben was trying to process things. His head still hurt, and he was achy all over really, but he was sober now. He could think again. “I understand how you got to this place. I would have done the same thing in your situation. But it’s hard for me to get past the lying.” He wanted to though, at least he thought he did. Seeing Daniel like this made Ben realize how much he cared. How understanding Daniel had been all this time, even now, giving Ben the space and time to deal with the shit between them.
“Someone could find out. Like Alex. Or, worse, a telepath.” Because Alex would have to actually know what sort of questions to ask to get an answer, whereas a telepath could just look inside Ben’s head at any given moment and see the truth.
Daniel nodded knowing Ben was right. His life at the Syndicate needed to change to protect Ben. If he left, Ben would still be at risk. In doing what he thought was right only put him in more danger due to the people around them. He cared about Ben more than he had anyone outside of his parents. And now he didn’t know how to fix what he’d broken. “What would have happened if you found out from someone else?” he asked softly.
Ben shrugged. “I don’t know. I would have asked you if it was true.” And if Daniel admitted to it, well, their fight would have been a lot worse. “Not knowing was easier. Better.” But it couldn’t be reversed, and Ben didn’t really want to be in the dark.
“Alex knows we’re close. I think he probably knows we’re dating. It’s only a matter of time before he tries something.” It was hard saying what though. Alex was a sick fuck.
The fact that Ben said that they were dating and not in the past tense. “I’ll leave. It’s probably the safest thing for you. If I’m not here he can’t hold it over you,” he said, trying to sound confident in his decision even though it was killing him inside. “I can’t have him hurting you.”
“That’s not true. If you leave, it will create suspicion.” Ben was thinking about this logically now. “He’d have every reason to question me then. And if he asked me why you left, I’d have no choice but to tell him the truth. He’d know everything. Not just about you, but about me not going to Blair immediately.” Ben sighed. Like it or not, he was involved now. “We’d both have to leave.”
”We’ll just have to fake my death then,” he said sheepishly. “No one would question you that way and …” It wasn’t like there would be anyone else but Ben to possibly miss him - no more family and what friends he did have, he would already have been out of touch with them. “Head up North somewhere. Maybe get a horse of my own.”
Were they really discussing this as an option? “You can’t fake your death,” Ben said dismissively. “And you’re not heading north. Definitely not getting your own horse,” he added with a little glare. “You’re staying here. We both are.” But it didn’t solve their problems. Far from it. “I don’t want you to go,” Ben admitted. It wasn’t just about safety or other shit. Ben didn’t want to lose Daniel. Not yet. He wasn’t ready. He’d not made up his mind about all this. And until he did, he wanted Daniel to stay.
Perhaps it was all false hope but the fact that Ben didn’t agree with the farce encouraged Daniel. “I don’t really want to leave you,” he said. “I want to go back and fix this so it never happened. I should have just cut ties and crossed over and never mentioned my relationship to Willowbrook.” Daniel wanted to get drunk. Really really drunk and forget all of this.
“What? And live with the lie forever? No. You couldn’t do that. Lying is…” he sighed, “It eats away at you. Just gets heavier over time and harder to carry.” Ben had been lying for as long as he could remember. So he knew what he was saying. Though his lies hadn’t been so dangerous.
”I couldn’t just walk away from you, Ben,” he said looking at his couch guest. “It was lie forever or tell you the truth and both options sucked. The third was just walk away from you. Keep you in the dark. Just go on without anyone having a reason to be suspicious.” If he went to Blair and confessed, explaining he’d had a change of heart he might be able to stay on without repercussions. But deep down, Daniel knew that would never happen. He started to click off who could put them at risk, starting with Alex. Fuck, he hated that guy.
Probably the best part about Daniel had been how safe Ben felt with him. Like he could finally be honest with someone. Ben could be himself when he was with Daniel. He didn’t have to hide anything. And now, that quality was tainted. “I need you to tell me everything. All of it. Even the shit you don’t want to tell me. I need to know who you really are.”
He took a deep breath. Who was Daniel? Really? He had to try. “You know when my parents ..died. The school gave me some time, I mean they weren’t heartless. But as soon as I started to come back around, that’s when it started. It was small little things at first. The ‘we’ll make the Syndicate pay’ comments and ‘you’ll avenge them’. I was 14. My parents were incredibly forgiving to humans but others weren’t so much. I mean they didn’t want us to forget but they wanted us not to be crippled with fear and anger either. I was just coming to that when they were taken from me, Ben,” he said softly. “I just changed my focus from humans to the Syndicate. It wasn’t all that hard. I just focused on those who took away my only family.”
“By the time I graduated, I hated this place. I wanted to see it burned to the ground. Every mission I went on, I went looking for blood. Someone was going to pay. Body count was important. When they told me the plan to get me in I didn’t want to say yes. I didn’t think I could control my anger. I’d be slipping into apartments and slicing throats…” he said with a sad laugh. “But when I arrived, the first day I walked in, Anne McGovern walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me so tightly and didn’t let go. She only knew the cover story that humans killed my parents. Or that I thought humans killed them. For all I know she was one of the killers. But she was so kind. And I kept meeting people like her. Dahlia. You. They aren’t evil here. Well ok some are, but I’m sure people would consider turning a 14 year old like the school did evil as well.”
Ben listened quietly. Pieces fell into place, and he started to understand. It made sense. Ben could see how Daniel reached his current mindset. How he came to be a double agent. And why maintaining the lies had grown so difficult. When he came to Seagram, he thought he had everything figured out, but finding good people within the Syndicate changed everything.
“Come here,” Ben said softly, scooting on the couch to make room for Daniel. “I’m really sorry about your parents. Truly. I don’t agree with everything the Syndicate does. I’m disgusted by some of it. I think there are probably assholes on the other side as well, but I can’t say for sure, because I’ve never been to Willowbrook and barely know the people who work for them. What I do know, is that there are good people here. People who care about you, who would die for you. Are there people like that at Willowbrook?” He wasn’t being sarcastic. Ben wanted to know. If so few people there knew about Daniel’s status as a double agent, was there a price on his head where most people were concerned? Did they want him dead?
Daniel got up slowly to move to the couch, lifting the blankets up so he didn’t trap Ben underneath them. Were there? Oliver Nye perhaps but he had family and wouldn't, shouldn’t put Daniel before them. William? At one time, he may have considered that a real possibility but in light of recent events he was most likely off the list as well. Did they care about him? Probably, sure. Would they die for him? No. “I honestly don’t know anymore,” he said quietly. It wasn’t his intent to have this conversation - it certainly highlighted how alone Daniel was in the world, but Ben wanted to hear it and he’d do just about anything for Ben right now.
Shoving the anger and hurt aside, Ben took hold of Daniel’s hand and squeezed it. In that moment, despite having promised Daniel some time ago that he wouldn’t do it without Daniel’s permission, Ben eased Daniel’s pain. He pulled it from the other man’s body and kept it at bay while their hands remained connected. “You’re not alone. I told you I would help you find the people who killed your parents, and I meant it. I still do. You can’t punish everyone at Seagram. Collectively, we’re not the enemy. You need to find the people who are directly responsible, and I’ll help.”
”Don’t,” he whispered, his voice full of pain, but he didn’t take his hand from Ben’s and eventually, he gave in to the comfort and peacefulness the absence of pain brought him. He took a long deep breath, feeling the relief Ben was giving him, knowing it would come back but savoring it for now. “They were carrying out orders,” he said quietly. “I’ve done the same. Going after everyone would be like someone going after Willowbrook for what I did when I was there. I can’t undo what’s been done, Ben. I just want to know at this point.”
“Then we get rid of the person who gave the order,” Ben said firmly. He wanted to know as well. When he went on missions, he usually managed to find some sort of good reason for doing what he was doing. The people he killed had posed a real danger to mutants. Maybe he’d been lucky. Maybe some missions were more sinister than others.
He kept a firm grasp on Daniel’s hand, continuing to battle the pain inside the other man. There was so much of it, more than Ben had experienced in most people. Dying people agonized less than Daniel. “You should let me do this more often. I think it’s causing permanent damage.” To carry so much emotional pain wasn’t healthy.
Daniel had learned to fight it off and keeping the pain mostly at bay. It was a constant but not overwhelming. Most of the time. He closed his eyes and lay back against the couch. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt such peace. “As long as you don’t feel anything,” he muttered. He wouldn’t let Ben continue if he was suffering.
This is what drugs must feel like, Daniel noted. This was different from the first time Ben performed such a feat but Daniel couldn’t pinpoint why. He moved his other hand to cover his eyes in hopes of keeping stray tears from falling.
“It doesn’t hurt me to take someone’s pain away. I swear.” He could feel the pain, but he didn’t experience it. He just recognized it. Like smelling food without tasting it. But even if Ben had to suffer in order to help Daniel, he would have right then. Such pain shouldn’t be carried by the same person for so long. It needed to be shared. Daniel deserved a break from it. Ben put his other hand over the top of Daniel’s, cradling it.
“I forgive you for lying to me. I see why you did it. I understand.” And if Daniel could be forgiving before, Ben could now. Holding on to anger wasn’t healthy. Look at where it had gotten Daniel? Ben didn’t want that for himself. He didn’t want to stay bitter. He didn’t want to end up regretting it later. What if something happened to Daniel? Ben wouldn’t be thinking about the betrayal then. He’d be thinking about all the good things. He’d miss Daniel. Ben had to let it go. He had to look forward.
”You do?” Daniel asked, lifting his hand to look at Ben. Being forgiven was something he wasn’t expecting. At least not now, he hoped in time Ben could…. but this was unexpected. He sat up and wrapped his arm around Ben, not pulling his hand away. “Thank you,” he whispered against Ben’s neck. “Thank you, Ben.”
Ben swallowed hard when Daniel hugged him and closed his eyes. It would still take time for them to reestablish trust. But knowing more now, Ben felt it was possible. He believed Daniel was going to try. “No more lies. Not about anything. For me too. We’re going to be honest with each other from now on.”
Daniel felt the hesitation and pulled back with a nod. “No more,” he said, not adding that he promised because he wasn’t sure that held weight any longer. If they needed to start from the beginning, Daniel would. “Do you think, maybe we could get a pizza tonight? Just hang out and watch a movie or something?”
“It’s a little late, or, I think early for pizza. Also not sure my stomach is ready for that yet. But a movie would be okay.” A compromise. “I think I should go back to my apartment and sleep off the rest of this flu or cold. Whatever it is. I’ll text you later. Deal?” He hadn’t let go of Daniel’s hand yet, because he was letting the man live without pain a little longer.
”I didn’t mean now… I meant later,” he said sheepishly not wanting Ben to go but understanding that it was probably for the best right now. “It doesn’t have to be tonight. Maybe once you’re feeling better. We’ll find a night. Soon I hope but whenever works, ok?” He looked down at Ben’s hands and nodded, slowly pulling his hand free. “Thank you for that.”
Ben let go when Daniel pulled away. If Daniel felt it was time to take his burden back, then so be it. “Alright, soon. I’ll spend the rest of today in bed.” He looked at Daniel in silence for a few moments. “When you’re feeling up to it, we’ll start digging…see if we can find out who ordered your parents’ murders. Whoever did it needs to face the consequences for their actions.”
”Thank you, Ben,” Daniel said softly. “Try to take it easy and let your body heal.” He didn’t know what else to say without sounding like a total idiot. He had no reason to expect Ben to forgive him but he did. Ben forgave him. Not that he didn’t have a lot of work to do to get back where they were but it was a start.
Ben nodded. “I will. Go back to bed.. in your bed this time. Your back’s likely to be a mess from sleeping on the floor.” He paused awkwardly then got up. It was time to leave. On a good note. Because if Ben stayed much longer, they might start arguing again. Ben didn’t want that. He wanted things to move in a positive direction. So he moved to the door and walked out.