InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "CHOP CHOP CHOP U UP! "

Mahiru Shirota, 16 years old, had one motto in his life: simplicity.

So what if sometimes that word was plain? Not once had it ever steered him wrong.

Scratch that, occasionally it had it's moments.

Even when his cat was a vampire, or when his childhood best friend was a subclass he'd only known for a year; caught up in a war he wanted no part of. Approach situations with a simple mindset: find the problem, then the best solution without sidestepping. He'd faced losses, Lawless' item was one, saving Sakuya was another. The eve was only human after all, he could afford to make a few mistakes. Applying the same logic: learn from it. Don't repeat it twice.

Most complications could be easily solved if you took a direct approach.

Eerie Harbor was a test of the eve's endurance. He'd never expected to get jettisoned to another world. Being separate from Kuro was the loneliest Mahiru had felt in a long time. Uncle also wasn't a phone call away. He'd lived a majority of his days alone growing up, but without his friends backing him up everything seemed scary, jarring. Not just vampires were real, but demons, ghosts, angels. Most of them were nice, save for a few occurrences in which they weren't. Worse, his body was beginning to crack under the pressure of being away from his contract. Overwhelming as it was, Mahiru had one thing on his mind: keep it simple.

It was his way of coping with the harsh reality of possibly never being able to go home again.

The eve briskly walked through the automatic doors of the hospital. Out of the waiting room and back into the parking lot. As he walked, he opened and closed his hands. The lingering feeling of touch still fresh on his palm. Everything that went down just now suddenly catching up to his mind, as if it had lagged during their time together. It was nice to see Shima again; awake and very much alive.

Renzo Shima had come into his life in September of last year, right after the eve had been released from the facility. In their short few months together, Shima helped Mahiru forget about his responsibilities from home. Most notably, how short his life expectancy had been getting due to Kuro's extended absence. Those few months were the most fun, albeit insane few months that the eve had experienced in his life. Leaving that dorm room for the Halfway House was the hardest thing he'd done in awhile.

Sure, he'd miss their early morning breakfast meetings, study sessions, and late night dance parties in their pajamas; music so loud you couldn't hear even their awful karaoke. Sometimes Mahiru would cook. But Shima would, too. Mostly top ramen and pancakes, but the food was even better knowing it was from someone else. In their shared late night conversations and early morning ones, time would stand still. Within seconds those months flew by, one moment he was sharing his everyday life with Shima, and the next he was completely out of the story. Every day away from him made Mahiru antsy. Using every excuse in the book trying to make up for lost time.

I really missed Shima.

Mahiru snapped back into the present. He summoned his lead: the broom, and hopped on. The Halfway House wasn't far from here, but it was faster than walking. There'd be a more direct approach in the air than on foot. Less crosswalks. It was a little windy today, but it wouldn't prove to be an issue.

Before mounting the broom, the eve took one last look behind him. He wondered if Shima would be looking for him in the sky.

I'll come back tomorrow.

Tomorrow Shima would still be hooked up to machinery. Tomorrow he'd still be bed-ridden, recovering his strength from his month away. But tomorrow, he'd be awake. Just like he had before everything went wrong.

For the millionth time.

It shouldn't bother him so much. Every month it was something new. For someone who put on such a mask and tried not to draw too much attention to themselves, the past few months had been hellish for him. There was the public radio broadcast, disappearing to fight in the woods, that one argument between Rin and Shima that he'd happened to overhear. Not to mention the amount of adults who were on his case about little things. Lawless and Mossie, to name a few. And now this. Mahiru would have never guessed that it would be a serial killer in a mascot suit that would make him start to view things differently.

When did I start being so bothered...

The air today was warm. A breeze wrapped around him. Everything looked so different from above. Buildings looked like toy houses and people moved around like ants on the ground. It was simpler up here. Quieter. A place to think about everything. As much as Mahiru's thoughts darted around, they always redirected to Shima. Whether or not he should turn back to the hospital and talk to him again.

Then Kuro's texts from the other day hit him like a train.

"You're being less reckless than usual...especially since it's that guy....you're invested in a more direct way now, Mahiru"

Did Kuro think he had a crush on Shima?

There's no way I like him like that. Mahiru crinkled his nose. Renzo Shima is a spy, he betrayed his friends back home and lied to me when we met. His name literally translates to "cheapskate". He snores. He doesn't do the dishes, most of the time they don't even make it out of his room. He almost failed his English class last quarter, if not for our weekly study sessions. All he eats is top ramen and takeout, getting motivated to do chores only when Western food is what I make for dinner. He goes out late in the middle of the night and comes back early in the morning. He's constantly reading those stupid porn magazines and giggling to himself when he sees something attractive. At movie night, he screamed when the centipede came on screen and held onto me like it was the end of the world. He snorts at his own jokes that half the time don't make any sense except to him. Every single day he talks about wanting to date someone, a girl, and laments on and on about how he's forever cursed to be single. Every single one we pass on the street is "she's so cute!" It's disgusting. There's no way I'd be into someone like that.

No.

Absolutely not.

Never in a million years.

Mahiru landed in front of the Halfway House, dismissing his lead the second he landed safely. He fumbled a moment with his wallet to pull out a keycard that'd unlock the doors and let him inside the complex. The hallways were long, he kept looking down at his hands, opening and closing them. Remembering the feeling of touch. He strutted through living room, waving to greet Kuro and Doubt Doubt. It was around 4:30, which meant he had a little bit of time to himself to do his homework before he had to cook dinner for the two hungry vampires he was sharing his apartment with.

Biology homework.

He usually saved it for last.

True or false: The mood-boosting neurotransmitter hormone, dopamine, is what is responsible for feelings of crushes or love.

Is this the universe's way of trying to mock me?

"Jeez. Did Kuro write this?" Mahiru grumbled to himself, scribbling in the answer.

True.

He leaned back in his chair, looking back up at the ceiling. He held his hands above him, opening and closing it again. It felt tingly, Mahiru swallowed a lump in his throat as he looked up at the artificial lighting in his room. His mind wandered back to the hospital, crying of relief when he saw Shima awake. Wiping his tears, holding his hand. Telling him it was reckless and reprimanding him by explaining that going out by a serial killer in a rabbit costume wasn't normal. Both of them giggling softly afterward. Tracing the lines of his wound that started scarring. Accidentally slipping Shima's first name.

Renzo.

Mahiru called him Renzo.

Shima was formal. He used everyone's last names and very occasionally firsts. He'd been calling Mahiru by his first name because that's what Mahiru preferred. And while the eve didn't care what he was called, Shima did. He had some sort of stupid persona to hold up, or something. Using the name Renzo was something he viewed as intimate.

And he wasn't even bothered by it. He had offered a smile, friendly rosy cheeks, and let Mahiru hold his hand.

And let Mahiru hold his hand.

Shima was always sort of like that in his own way. Of course it was a side of himself he never showed, but was still there. Hidden away from the world. It was as if Shima was leaving clues about his other side, but never acknowledging it's existence. The morning after Mahiru stayed up coughing, Shima made him breakfast the following day. He'd left origami cats all over the dorm room, and an especially detailed one to mimic Kuro after Mahiru told him about him. When Kuro had arrived and Mahiru had collapsed, he'd called the facility and sat him down until they arrived, consistently checking if he was alright. Then, just a few days before the incident, he'd made an effort to get along with Kuro, because he knew it was important to Mahiru. He'd brought them groceries, ordered pizza, and sat through a movie that he didn't like.

When Shima wasn't a text, walk, or short bus ride away, it felt as though the world had stopped for the entire month. Colors were muted, there was an aching in Mahiru's chest he couldn't ignore. He'd gone to school, he'd done things to keep himself busy, but none of it worked. Back home that'd been his coping mechanism, too.

Perhaps you really didn't miss someone until they were really gone.

I want to be there for him, hold him close and never let him go.

"When did things change?" Mahiru slumped on his desk, arms crisscross over his homework as he buried his head between them. "I'm so hopeless."

I'm in love with Shima.

Mahiru walked over to his bed, plopped down on his stomach. He pushed a pillow against his face and let out a muffled scream. For the first time in his life, he couldn't find a way to apply his proverb. Butterflies welled up in his stomach. He stopped screaming, laying flat on his back as he looked up at the ceiling. Panic was beginning to settle in.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

Had Shima figured it out while they were at the hospital? Did anyone know? Kuro probably did. Kuro knew everything about him. He was so observant. Would Shima even like him back? He blushed didn't he? Was that his way of--

Now that Mahiru was thinking about it; Shima was attractive. He made a huge effort to get girls and everything. The pink hair was a bit off putting at first but it was something so distinctly him that seeing the exorcist with his roots showing with black hair felt wrong. His genuine smile was so bright and warm it rivaled the sun. And even though he laughed at his own jokes, his laughter was contagious. It was cute, he was cute.

I did not just think that. Mahiru covered his face with his hands. He could feel himself blushing furiously. He'd probably never date Mahiru anyways, he was more interested in girls than boys. The eve himself never really gave it much thought. Dating was complicated, these feelings bubbling up inside of him were complicated. Everything about this was the exact opposite of simple. It was easier to just love who you wanted, all things considered the last time Mahiru had a crush it didn't end well.

What's the simplest way of approaching this?

Tell him.

Mahiru scrolled through the network to draft a post. Everyone would know after he sent this, but he'd make it so Shima couldn't see it. But how? How would I say it?