Who: Severus and Lucy (because Monti is awesome about letting me godmod Lucy) When: Back dated to Saturday night, after Sev's talk with Tess Where: Sev's mind (scary I know) and his potion shop Rating/Warnings: hinting towards smut, but FTB Status: Complete
What did he want?
That question continued to bounce around Severus’s mind, knocking loose thoughts, memories, hopes – new and old – impossible dreams, things that should not mix, ideas the warred with each other, until they were a jumbled mess in his head. If he found a way to clear his thoughts – which usually required stern concentration on a very involving task – he’d feel sane for a while. But he’d inevitably slip, that question had a way of wheedling its way back to the forefront of his thoughts, unbidden, sometimes unnoticed at first (in which case he’d be knee deep in the flood of mental instability before he knew there was a leak in the dam). Then the vicious cycle would continue.
Tess had tried to help, but he was just as confused as ever, if anything she was a non-judging sound board on which to bounce his muddled thoughts, and he’d been very grateful for that.
On one hand there was Lily –
Actually, no, on one hand there wasn’t Lily. Severus supposed that door had been open once, a long time before, but he’d never noticed it when it was – even when he was looking straight at it. And now it was slammed shut, dead bolted, warded against his entrance. He’d caused it, to be sure, but did that make it easier to accept?
Lily surely didn’t want much to do with him now. And why should she? He was used, broken, messed up, dirty, tainted, ruined, disgusting – all his fault.
There was no way to fix things.
And he couldn’t forget she’d blatantly declared she was dating someone else… so didn’t that mean she’d firmly decided she didn’t want him?
Or did it all come down to the fact that Lucy was still there, by his side?
When he had told Lucy of his past she’d remained calm and listened, let him finish, heard the whole of it (Lily hadn’t even let Severus do that) and when he was done she had calmly and rationally made her assessment. Not that Lucy didn’t fully comprehend the severity of what he’d done… it was just that that was Lucy’s way, she’d done the same for Cassidy and he was sure Laurie couldn’t be perfect, but Lucy accepted her as well – focusing on his here and now activities, rather than the past.
And when Lucy had found out about Remus, and then Lilly Kane, sure she’d been jealous, had questions about his feeling for each, again listen, again assessed, but never in all that was she rude or vindictive towards either. And the same applied to when she found out how Severus felt about Lily, way back in October, when Lily was there before – the same cool rationality, questions without guile, hardly any rudeness.
Lily couldn’t even look at his arm without going pale, without turning her face away in disgust, (which was hardly conducive for intimacy, much less helped his self-esteem.) Lucy, on the other hand almost never gave it a second thought…
So, why was Severus still conflicted? He understood one bit of Tess’s advice, and that was he would need to make his choice soon…
The closing of a book made Severus look up from the potion he was working on.
Lucy had commandeered another table, her work sprawled across in what appeared to be haphazard piles. But Severus knew that was far from the case. The way Lucy picked up and put down each book, made annotations on a piece of paper, all methodically, indicated there was reason to the different stacks of papers and books.
Lucy seemed to sense his eyes on her and looked up at him, smiling. She really was an attractive girl, though she hardly ever seemed to flaunt it – her clothing preferences not in the least flashy, usually conservative browns and neutrals (like today, with her brown skirt and blue sweater), and she always sat composed, but without a need to draw attention to herself.
Severus smiled back, “You done with the bibliography yet?” He pushed his convoluted thoughts to the back of his mind to give Lucy his full attention – he wouldn’t be able to make a decision yet, anyways.
Lucy shook her head, and looked… quizzical, “No.” But instead of turning back to her books Lucy jumped down and came over to where he was working. “You done yet?” she asked, peering into the cauldron.
Severus shook his head, “but for the moment, things can wait – you have something on your mind?”
Lucy looked up an away, which was an indication that she was thinking about something ‘psychological’, which she would no doubt expound upon, “Well, Severus Snape, it hasn’t escaped my notice that you have been off recently, and I think I’ve found a way to remedy that. Spontaneity, we are in a rut – whether it be the lingering pull of winter or … something else,” (Severus had to wonder about that ‘something else’, if she knew more about his thoughts that she let on) “I wont speculate, don’t need to. I just need to act. There are many leading theories on relationships and the need to be carefree and spontaneous-” Severus knew he should be worried… there was a sudden gleam of mischievousness in her eyes.
“What-” Severus started to ask, clearly hesitant.
Lucy shook her head, “Oh, nothing like that Sev.” She started backing away from him, indicating she was going back over to her books, which he thought odd considering that speech she’d just made…
But then he saw it, there in her hands, his wand! How had he missed that?!
“Hey!” he couldn’t help the smile on his face as Lucy laughed out loud. She jumped back from his reach, hair flying, and bolted up the clanging, metal stairs of the work room. Severus could do nothing but follow after her, laughing, too, as he chased her around his potions shop.
She really had the advantage over him, the head start and all. Plus, the three chest high shelves in the middle of the room made the perfect barrier to any of her moves. Around they went, Lucy always one step ahead of him.
“You know what’s going to happen when I get you?” Severus called out to her.
“Humm? What would that be, Severus Snape,” she called his name out like a taunt, “I think you have to catch me first!”
“Oh, just you wait,” Severus called back, “I think I could manage turning you into a newt, you’d look cute as a newt.”
“Really? But I think I look cute as a human,” Lucy said over her shoulder, “And besides, you’ve still not caught me.”
And then she made a slip up, ducking left instead of right and Severus caught her, wrapping his arms around her. Lucy squealed, dropping his wand. Severus laughed, his heart hammering from the physical exertion, plus holding a laughing Lucy in his arms was very nice, he couldn’t deny she fit so well there.
His lips found her neck easily, kissing lightly up to her ear, “Someone is going to get it,” he whispered.
“Oh am I?” Lucy squirmed against his arms, gasping at his kisses.
“Mmhmm,” Severus mumbled back, losing himself in the heat of it all. He gently, but firmly turned Lucy so she was facing him, and started directing both of them against the opposite wall, until Lucy was flush up against it.
“I think,” Severus leaned in and kissed her more fiercely, more passionately, enjoying it when Lucy kissed back just as strong, “I think you deserve something severe.”
“Hmmm?” was all she got back to him.
He moved his hands to her legs, pulling up at her skirt, touching her smooth thighs when the skirt had been circumnavigated. And when she offered no resistance to that, he started clawing at the sides of her panties, making his intentions quite known.
“Right here?” Lucy questioned him, breathlessly.
Severus had found that spot on her neck, just below the ear that made her melt and was relentlessly kissing it, “Mmhmmm,” he started to pull down on her underwear.
“But what about-” talking while gasping was clearly not Lucy’s strongest talents, “What about people… could see…”
The door was locked for the night; people would know the place was closed. As for those walking by and being able to look in through the window into the well lit shop… “And we should care because…?” Severus had successfully removed the one barrier on Lucy, and pulled his hands out to start working on his own jeans.
“Wait,” Lucy seemed to have found the strength to talk again. Severus grudgingly complied with a groan.
“What?”
“I have an idea,” she smiled sheepishly, “I wore that pleated skirt for you…” She let the sentence trail. “I was wondering…”
… if he would do something for her.
He leaned in and kissed her neck some more, “What do you want me to do?” He smiled remembered their messages exchanged on the board, “Does this involve a cigar… by chance…?”
Lucy’s smile grew wider, “Maybe.” She sounded questioningly hopeful. And how could he deny her when she looked that damned cute?
Severus smiled back, licked his lips, “Lead the way Mrs. Freud.”
Lucy was positively over flowing with glee. She grabbed his hand and started pulling him up the stairs to his apartment. He stopped her so he could go back and pick up his wand, but quickly rejoined her on the stairs.