Dr. Daniel Jackson (doctorjackson) wrote in wherehomeis, @ 2008-07-30 21:29:00 |
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Current mood: | working |
Live and learn...
The ray of sun laid across the middle of the research lab that morning and Daniel found himself staring at it, and watching the small particles of dust dance within it. It was mesmerizing, at least to someone who hadn't slept in over a day and had spent the last hour staring at Ancient writing. With a sigh, Daniel lazily blinked his eyes and sat back in his chair before pulling his glasses off. He placed them down on the desk and rubbed his eyes, feeling them water from lack of sleep.
Daniel figured he would sleep when he was finished with his translations. Not in his bed, of course...he hadn't slept there for over a week. His new bed was the padded bench that sat just feet away from his desk. The only time he went to his quarters anymore was to shower and change his clothes.
Things hadn't turned out the way they were suppose to. He loved Teyla and cared for her deeply, but it wasn't enough to keep their marriage going. Both of them were in love with other people - her with her childhood friend Kanaan and him with Sam. They tried, though, to keep their marriage afloat, but now Teyla was on the verge of leaving the expedition for good and Daniel couldn't hold her back.
Each of them loved someone else but that didn't stop Daniel from feeling the blunt of the guilt. He had lied to himself about his feelings for Sam, and tried to move forward with Teyla. But it was so hard at times, especially when he would see Sam sitting alone on one of the parapets, and he wanted nothing more than to go out and hold her. He hated seeing her alone and, when she had gotten her divorce from Carson, he wanted nothing more than to make sure she was all right, even if she said she was.
Teyla had known, long before they even married, that Daniel's heart belonged with another. When he had asked why she had agreed to marry him, she told him it was because she had felt the same way about another. It would seem the both of them had hoped marrying someone else would heal the hurt. But it hadn't.
Not that it mattered. Daniel was pretty sure Sam didn't want him in her life. When she had told him she was leaving for Atlantis, and his request to go with had been denied, he had acted like a spoiled brat. He was sure the only reason she put up with him now was because she was the leader of the expedition, and she was being diplomatic.
Shaking his head, Daniel picked up his glasses and looked at them before looking at the padded bench, where his pillow and blanket sat. He almost wanted to go over there and just sleep but he forced his glasses back on and looked at the computer screen again. He was in the middle of jotting down a few notes when he heard the door of the lab slide open.
Daniel looked up, his breath catching a little when he saw Sam standing there. The one person he wanted to see, yet didn't need to see, was standing right there. He stared at her for a moment before looking down at his notes again. "Hey. What's up?" he asked.