He hadn’t been a very good friend. James knew that. While he was sure he had needed the space in order to try and set himself right he also knew that he could’ve said something to Eliot sooner. He could’ve let the other man know what was going on instead of letting him think that James had just decided not to talk to him anymore. He owed him an apology first. The rest of the conversation could wait until after. He wasn’t really looking forward to that other part of the conversation but knew it was something that needed to happen.
James decided he could be realistically optimistic about all of it. Eliot could have quickly and definitively let him down on the network but he hadn’t. Instead, he had invited James over to talk about it which was good. It meant Eliot still wanted to see him, still wanted to be friends in spite of James’ recent blunders. If he could walk away from this with their friendship still intact then he would consider it a win. Besides, James had been shot down by crushes before. He could handle it better now, his ego wasn’t quite as big as it had been when he was following Lily around like some lovesick puppy.
James pressed a kiss to the side of Harry’s head, smoothing out his unruly dark hair before offering a wave to Regulus and setting off. He wasn’t heading to Eliot’s place empty handed this time, carrying both a bottle of wine and a plate of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies that he had made earlier with Harry’s “help”, of course. He’d never been more thankful for his magic as he was sure he would’ve wound up dropping one thing or the other on the walk over. He knocked on the door once he arrived and waited for Eliot to answer.
Eliot had given thought to whether he would comment on James's net post. They hadn't talked in a long time and James didn't comment on anything he posted. So he assumed the other wanted nothing to do with him, but wasn't entirely sure why. Though he had a few guesses. He wasn't sure what to expect to be honest. A short reply or maybe no reply at all. The latter he knew wouldn't happen. James was a kind person. More than anything Eliot wanted an explanation. Some of it surprised him and he knew he wanted to talk to James in person. Not on the network where anyone could read it. Things like that didn't belong there in his opinion.
Once again Eliot was surprised when he opened the door and found James standing there with a bottle of wine and a plate of cookies. "Hi," he smiled, "come on in." He shut the door and moved toward the kitchen. "I see you come bearing gifts. Have a seat. I'll grab some glasses." He returned shortly with the glasses and a bottle opener. He hadn't been sure if the wine had a cork. "I'm not mad at you James. I want you to know that," he said as he poured the wine then took a drink of his. "Mostly I was confused and thought I'd done something wrong. Though I don't think I did." That wasn't Eliot having a big head or anything. Their lunch had gone well in his opinion, then James just sorta poofed
While things had been a little tense, James was still glad that Eliot had said something to him. He liked to think he would have reached out to Eliot eventually because he would have missed being around the other but… he had grown used to escaping from everything else by focusing all of his attention on Harry. He would’ve missed hanging out with Eliot but there was no guarantee he wouldn’t have just pushed those feelings to the side. He hated that about himself. Prior to things going south with Harry’s mother he never would’ve run like this.
“Wotcher, Eliot.” James greeted, offering the other a smile as he stepped in. “One’s part of the apology. The other is a gift. You can decide which is which.” The last time he had been over he hadn’t brought anything with him and that just felt wrong. He wasn’t about to make that mistake again. Not after this latest blunder. He set both the wine and the cookies down before taking a seat. “You know, I’m glad to hear that but I think you have the right to be angry. No matter whether I meant it or not I still disappeared on you and I’m sorry for that.” He should have said something, should have been upfront and honest about what was going on in his head but it was hard. “You did nothing wrong, Eliot. You were as charming and wonderful as always.” He accepted the glass of wine with a soft thank you and took a drink. No matter how much he was pretty sure he was prepared for the worst he was also sure that he would need the drink.
"Well, I'm not angry. I wouldn't have bothered reaching out to you if I was." He drank more of his wine then propped his arm up on the back of the couch and rested his head on his hand. "I am charming and wonderful." He laughed and winked at James who looked...well, he looked sort of on edge. Eliot couldn't quite put his finger on it. "So you said you fancy me." He had a feeling James wouldn't bring that up. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told you at the singles mixer. I'm not looking for anything serious right now. I'm looking for fun and friends. If something serious should come along at some point then I'll cross that bridge when I get there." There really wasn't much more to say.
"You're a great guy James. If you're looking for some fun I'm down for that. If you're just looking for a friend I'd still like us to be friends as well." Some people could do both, some couldn't. "That is why I reached out. I still want to be friends, but if you want a little more I can do that too. Or not. I'm flexible." He grinned and finished off his wine then poured himself more.
“Modest, too.” James teased. Trying to joke and, possibly, appear a little more at ease than he was. He may have failed miserably when Eliot brought up the entire reason for the visit. Yes, it was something they should probably discuss but James was ridiculous and he sort of hoped to avoid it for just a little while longer. Now that he’d had a moment to reflect on his actions he felt terrible and a little silly for just pushing all of that out there but… he had always been ridiculous when it came to crushes. It would’ve all come out sooner or later. “You did say that, didn’t you?” He asked, immediately shaking his head at himself. He really had panicked enough to forget something that probably would’ve saved him quite a bit of worry and trouble. “Blimey, I’m a right idiot.” He laughed a little at himself before taking a drink of his wine. “Sorry, again.” Eliot was going to get sick of hearing the apologies sooner or later. James would just have to do better.
He wanted to agree with Eliot and say that, yeah, he was pretty great. He slipped up sometimes and made an ass of himself but no one was perfect. It was a little more important to listen to what Eliot had to say than to interrupt so he didn’t. He fell silent for a moment before offering the other a grin. “How flexible, exactly?” He asked before waving off the question. “Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist. Obviously, I still want to be mates. Losing that was the biggest fear I had going into all of this even before you contacted me.” Honestly, he wasn’t looking to jump into anything that might be too serious. Something like that needed to be worked towards. He figured that was especially true with Harry. Casual and fun though… he could probably do something like that. “I think that’s what I’m looking for. Something casual. Fun. If you really are down for a little more than friendship I’d be interested in trying.”
"Oh, darling, you have no idea." Eliot teased then laughed and gave James another wink. He did appreciate humor. The subject came back to a more "serious" topic. "I did say that. I would never lie to you about what I want or what I'm looking for. I don't play games and shit. That hurts people and there's already too much of that in the world. And you're not an idiot. Cut that shit out. You're a good man, James and don't deny that." Everyone had a past and had made mistakes. That didn't change who they were at heart. "That's the last apology you get to say about any of this." He gave James a look then grinned.
Eliot's mouth fell open and he let out a mock gasp. "Look who's wearing his flirty and naughty pants. I like it!" He waggled his eyebrows, chuckling a little. He liked that James could be flirty and funny in the midst of a talk that was a bit on the serious side. He swatted him gently on his leg. "I said no more apologizing and certainly not for a great line like that. Maybe you'll find out." He grinned again. "I'm like a bad rash that never goes away." Yes, he could joke as well. "I believe I just said I'm down for casual and fun, but the question is, what is your definition of fun and casual?" That was important to ask because it meant different things to different people.
James huffed out a breath but nodded. “I’ll try.” It was the best he could do given the fact that he felt like there was still a lot he needed to apologize for here. “And, I’m glad you think I’m a good person.” Still. “But we can all be bloody idiots sometimes. Happens. Part of being human and all that.” He wasn’t going to beat himself up over it. He had recognized his mistake and owned up to it, had decided he was an idiot for it, and now it was time to move on. There were new mistakes to be made.
He laughed at the expression on Eliot’s face, flashing him something of a triumphant grin. He only laughed harder at the gentle swat that followed and had to stop himself from apologizing again. “I said I’d try!” He had never been one to take himself too seriously. Sure, there were times when he forced himself to for the sake of responsibility but he could joke and flirt even when things felt more serious. He took a drink of his wine and set the glass down. “I like you better than I’d like a rash.” And he’d only asked if Eliot was serious to be completely sure. The question was a good one, however, and one he was thinking about asking Eliot himself. “Well. I suppose I see it as something a little more like friends with benefits? So something without the commitment or expected monogamy of a relationship-relationship.” He could probably pick it apart a little more but that seemed like a good initial summary to find out where they both stood. “What were your thoughts on it?”
"That's all I can ask." Eliot would never understand why some people felt the need to apologize so much. "Of course we can all be idiots sometimes. We're all flawed in ways. Unfortunately none of us are perfect." And he was the last person who would claim to be so.
"Well, I am a lot more pleasant than a rash," he teased. He was curious to hear what James's definition of fun and casual was. Truthfully, he thought it might be a little different from his own. Maybe because James had that sweet innocent thing going on. He was sweet, but he knew he wasn't innocent. Maybe because he didn't seem like he would agree to how he himself defined fun and casual. "That's exactly how I see casual and fun. No strings attached, friends with benefits without the expectation of commitment and monogamy. Just fun and casual." Eliot wasn't ready to settle down. "Also if you ever want to stop or you meet someone amazing or whatever just say the word and it stops. No hard feelings. No complications or anything. We remain friends." At least that's how it worked in theory, but everyone knew that's not how it always worked out.
James flashed the other a smile at the teasing. “I would certainly hope so. I like to think I have better tastes in people than that.” He laughed. Eliot was definitely a lot more pleasant than a rash but the other man knew that. James was a little worried that, perhaps, their ideas of casual and fun were drastically different. They could always discuss it if they needed to, see if the two of them could find some common ground, but it seemed as if that wasn’t needed. Eliot agreed with his description and James didn’t know if that was surprising or not. In his opinion it was the better option for him. He had to think about Harry and what was best for him and not just what was fun. He couldn’t be the sort of person who was constantly changing partners even if the occasional hookup wasn’t completely out. He also wasn’t ready to settle down or jump into anything serious but he could do something fun and casual with someone he had a level of trust with.
He was pretty sure things wouldn’t be as cut and dry as they were in theory but James was also certain that if they talked things out they could work through everything. “The same goes for you. If you meet someone and decide you want to pursue something more with them or, even, if you just don’t think this is working for you anymore just let me know and it stops. I might ask a few questions that you won’t have to answer if you don’t want to but…” He shrugged. “I’ll respect your decision.” Which was the least anyone could do for someone else.
“I can’t see myself not answering any questions. That’s part of good communication in any friendship. Especially when you’re doing something like this.” He couldn’t see himself hiding anything pertaining to it from James. “Okay, we’ve got that all settled. Let’s get back to the wine and more pleasant things.” He grinned then shifted to refill the others’s glass.