Jessica Moore | Supernatural (sweetlittlejess) wrote in welcomethreads, @ 2013-11-02 03:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | jessica moore, sam winchester |
WHO: Sam Winchester and Jessica Moore
WHERE: Their apartment
WHEN: Sometime late morning, Saturday 11/2
WHAT: Dealing with the anniversary of her death
WARNINGS: Talk of death
STATUS: Closed/Ongoing
The morning sunlight came through the window, rousing Jess out of what had been a rather uneasy sleep. A glance at the alarm clock on Sam's side told her it was just a little past nine-thirty, which meant that she'd only been 'asleep' (if it was fair to call it that) for about three hours. She and Sam had been out late, getting food and videos for today, and even when they'd turned in, sleep hadn't been quick to come.
She couldn't stop thinking about it. Their apartment had always seemed like a dream come true, even if it was small and the rent had been too high. It had been the first place she'd lived on her own (outside of the years she'd spent in the dorm, but she didn't count those), and it had been the first home she'd shared with Sam. It had been the first place where she'd really felt like an adult, and it had felt so much like the beginning of her life...not the place where it would end. But it had. She didn't doubt Sam one bit, and even if she had, there was plenty about it online to confirm every word he'd said. She'd died there...hours after the point she'd arrived here from. Killed by a demon she'd thought was her friend.
She shivered, and snuggled closer to Sam. He was warm, and comforting, and she hoped very much that her unease and need to be close to him wouldn't wake him. The longer they could sleep today, the easier it would be for both of them. The day always seemed so long when you woke up early. She closed her eyes, laying her head on his chest. It was familiar, comforting, even though he'd changed so much since she'd seen him last. He'd been...scrawnier, then, still filling out his tall frame, where as now he was fully grown, and nobody would dare to call him scrawny. But he was the same Sam inside...bruised, perhaps, more cynical than he had been. But her Sam. And she'd grown to love the changes as much as she did the man she remembered.
She trembled again. She wasn't exactly afraid of death. She studied comparative religions, and as such had studied a thousand different theories of the afterlife. She'd known that someday she would die, and had learned to take it as a given. But she didn't want to die. She wanted to live. She wanted to grow old with Sam, have children, have the life that they'd always wanted to have. That had seemed so close...
She felt tears come to her eyes, and turned her head into Sam's chest, so that her sobs wouldn't wake him as she wept into his shirt for the life that they'd never be allowed to have.