After Buffy pushed past him, he closed the door and turned towards her, watching her for a moment or two as he tried to figure out what to say. Normally Spike always had something to say, but every now and then Buffy rendered him speechless for one reason or another and this was one of those times. There were so many thoughts going through his mind that he wasn't quite sure where to start. In the end, if she wanted the truth, that's what she was going to get.
"I wanted you to remember me as a champion," Was all he said, wanting to see what Buffy's reaction would be. He'd tried for so long to prove to her that he was different. That he could be the man she deserved. He'd gone as far as to get his soul back for her. He'd sacrificed himself for her. Would his sacrifice have meant anything to her if she'd known he was alive? Or course that had lasted only so long before he'd wanted to find her, but, not only would no one would tell them where she was, but for a time he so couldn't leave Wolfram & Hart.