Spike sighed. Well that backfired on him, but then again, he was used to that. "I'm sorry, alright? I was being selfish. I wanted to be in your good graces so bloody bad that I wasn't thinking about your feelings. I wanted to be remembered in a good light." He really wanted a cigarette. He really wanted something he could punch. But most of all, he really wanted to kiss Buffy and Spike wasn't exactly one to wait, "I've done so many horrible things." As he spoke, he took a few steps closer to Buffy, "And for once I wanted to be known as the one who saved the bloody day." When he stopped, he was only a few inches away from Buffy and after a moment or two, brought a hand up to lightly touch her golden hair, as he had so many times, "I should have tried harder." And he meant it. Were it not for the threat to Los Angeles, he liked to think that he would have gone to find her. To tell her that he was alive.