WHO: Fix and Sarissa WHAT: Summer talk WHERE: In the forest WHEN: Monday afternoon WARNINGS: TBD, Likely low STATUS: Gdoced, Complete
Fix had seen a lot of very strange things in his life. He'd spent the last ten years in and out of Faerie, and the things one saw there made the odd and bizarre seem absolutely commonplace. But this place, from what he'd seen walking around, and from what he'd read on the network, was no less strange than the Nevernever. Creatures of all sorts, from all different universes, and from books, tv, movies - fictional characters! - were everywhere. It was quite a different brand of strange than anything he had come across before.
Maybe, had he come here at a different time, it would have fascinated him. He might even have found it amusing, or fun. But his heart was so heavy at the moment that he wasn't sure if he'd ever find joy in the world again.
After chatting a bit on the network, Fix had decided he needed some time alone, and had made his way out to the woods, finding a little stream and taking his shoes off. Summer was fading - so the mantle told him hourly - but the water was still warm, and the sun on his back was relaxing in a way that it could only be to the Summer Fae. The leaves whispered above him in the breeze, and the birds sang - perhaps knowing what and who he was, perhaps not. He didn't know, in this place.
But while the warmth and sunshine relaxed him, it didn't reach the tight ball of darkness and pain that threatened to devour him. His mind kept replaying Lily's death, over and over, from a thousand different angles. There was nothing he could have done! It had happened too fast. And yet...he was her knight. He was supposed to protect her. He'd failed Lily, and he'd failed Summer, all in one. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he wiped them away slowly. Tears were not something to be ashamed of; Summer did not frown on emotion. It was Winter which was cold, emotionless. Summer embraced feeling as it embraced life.
He would have to serve Sarissa now, of course. And he would. While he had loved Lily with all of his heart, Fix was loyal to Summer, independent of his feelings for her. When he'd become the Summer Knight, he'd been a twitchy, insecure, frightened little boy who could barely finish a sentence without stuttering. Now he was a man, basking in the confidence and strength the Mantle gave him. Summer had made him into a person he was proud to be, and he would not betray them, even if Lily was dead.
He'd heard rumors that Harry Dresden was here, and if the Winter Knight was here, he would have to be on his guard. He liked Harry! He did. He'd been crushed when he'd discovered that Harry had taken the mantle of Winter, knowing that in time, he'd become another Lloyd Slate. He'd fight it - Fix knew that. He'd fight it with everything he had. But the power of the Mantle of the Summer or Winter knight wasn't something that could be fought. Fix hadn't even tried. Of course, his hadn't been so entirely evil as Harry's.
Fix closed his eyes. He wished the pain would go numb, that he could breathe again, but the daggers of sorrow and grief kept piercing his heart, and there seemed no way to escape it. He couldn't imagine life without Lily; he'd known her all his life. And loved her for most of it. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he leaned forward, and let the tears coming, weeping without restraint.