She didn’t believe he’d changed probably for the same reason she didn’t want to believe that he had. “Maybe it’s how people have reacted. They expect her to understand, they expect me to give up on my closure. Have you ever considered that maybe it’s not that easy? Skye’s a product of her environment. She was taught to hate, taught that forgiveness wasn’t an option for everyone. That everyone can be saved unless it’s personal. Everything you said about that team, its true. You fit into one of their neat little boxes now but maybe she’s not willing to accept that any more than I am. Even if it’s in a very different way.”
She listened to his explanations and it still threw her, Clint Barton, it made sense that he’d step up. He was pretty much famed for giving chances to the irredeemable. He probably could have made a difference but it felt like everyone was happy, everyone was content and she, and probably Skye in her own way weren’t complying.
“I wasn’t me. That’s the problem. The me before all of this, she probably would have hated you, probably wouldn’t have questioned, just seen a traitor. I like to think I’d have tried but SHIELD indoctrinate their people almost as well as HYDRA. I was literally nothing when I took a chance on you and you built me back up. You helped me separate Kara from 33 and I love you for it. But on the other hand, Bobbi Morse is the reason that I got like this. She’s the cause of why I have all this hate and all this anger and she doesn’t care. She’s never cared.”
“I’ll tell you when I think you’re wrong. I’ve never followed you I think you’re wrong now. I think the you I knew was a good man. I think you need to stop apologising for him. But I’ll listen to you, try it your way if you ask me to because honestly if I don’t I’m pretty sure they’ll just kill me outright. And I know that you won’t.”
Why she wanted to do it? He was asking her why.
Her actions unmade me. She didn’t tie me in front of that machine but she might as well have. I want her to apologise for that. I want her to feel what I did, that fear that hurt, that betrayal. I want to make them all admit they were wrong. Coulson, May, Skye. All of them. I want them to realise they’re not the righteous ones, they’re hypocrites. I want them to see the truth.”
She knew it sounded bitter but Bobbi had been kind to her face hoping she’d never remember. Coulson had given up on her, Skye had left her to die, May…May had joked about her.
“I physically hate them. And everything they stand for. And I don’t understand why you don’t. Are they really so different here? You need to tell me where to go from here, what to do because otherwise I don’t know what I will do but I’ll probably come off worse in it.”
And she wanted him. But that was a dream now. And she knew that. So she’d be loyal to him, she’d trust that he knew what he was doing and she would hope against hope that what he said was true and he’d remember who he was, remember who she was to him. That was the only happiness she could have anymore. She let her gaze meet his, “You always know the best thing to do. So I’ll trust that here.”