His hand touched hers and in that moment, god help her, she felt safer than she had since she got here. Maybe that really was crazy and co dependant and everything people had said about them. But she didn’t care. Not right then. “There he is.” she replied softly managing the first smile she’d had since getting here.
Because really, that simple action reminded her more of her Grant than anything he had said before now. “Its funny though. I didn’t think that I was crazy. I thought I was right. I thought we were justified and I really still do. But you’re telling me it’s easier here, that its better here and all I’ve had is Fury tell me that I can’t go after Bobbi, that no one here is held accountable for their past but they still see you as the reformed psychopath right, you let them help you and now you’re better. You weren’t what they said, you were never that and I hate it so much that you’ve let them dictate this much of who you are. Do they love you ‘in spite’ of your past? Because they should realise that the man you are is because of that. Because you overcame that. I hope you haven’t forgotten that.”
She lightly brushed her thumb against their joint hands before thinking better of it, she didn’t get to do that now after all.
“I wish you were my Grant too. More than you can imagine. But, if you tell me to stop. If you tell me there’s a better way then I’ll try, against all better judgement, I’ll try. Because you’ve never steered me wrong. But I won’t let them see me like they see you. A successful project they can hold up to the world to show how good they are and how much they help those that fell by the wayside. SHIELD screwed us both. And I really want you to remember that, because I’m terrified you forgot.”
In some ways she knew she followed his word, but it wasn’t like with Whitehall. She followed him because she wanted to, because she knew he cared and she knew he understood, and in this weird world where he’d given in to SHIELD and their promises, she’d follow him still. Even if she hoped against hope he’d find himself again. “What do you want me to do?”