Who: Adam and Sam What: Sam tells his little brother about their adventures in Hell. Adam drinks. Where: The Rabbit Hole When: Wednesday, April 29, afternoon Warnings: Possible mentions of death, dying, souls, possession, violence, Hell, and then there's a lot of drinking. Also language. Status: In-Progress
The initial shock and confusion was probably the worst of it. And after all that melted away, Adam was left with a startling numbness that spread out to all his limbs like an anesthetic. Ironically, it also made his head feel clearer than it had in days. It was like an out of body experience more than anything, as if he was looking down at himself and analyzing his feelings the way an outsider would. Was that what it would feel like to be possessed by Michael? To not be yourself. Only to just know yourself. Or was it more of a claustrophobic, constricting feeling of losing control of yourself, and despite knowing what you're doing is wrong, being completely powerless to stop it?
The rapid thump-thump beat of his heart brought Adam back into the moment. Somehow, he had managed to make it to The Rabbit Hole to meet his brother, though how he'd gotten there, he didn't know. He imagined himself drifting into the place, looking like a pale, emotionless specter and taking a seat at an empty table toward the back of the bar. He didn't even have the willpower to order a drink. It would likely lead to some questions about his age, and suddenly Adam felt tired, so very tired. He didn't want to get into an argument about -- of all things -- his age. He just wanted to forget he ever existed. At least if only for a while.
But some part of his brain was forcing him to jumpstart his thinking cap. It wanted to learn and understand what the hell was happening to him, because otherwise, he would wither away and deteriorate without a purpose. He would just sit there for all eternity, neither alive nor dead, in limbo between two worlds and never really belonging to either. The first thing his brain made him think about was this whole fictional universe thing. If Adam knew anything, it was that he was very much real and that his mother had also been very much real. Just because he existed in this world as a character on a TV show didn't mean he was any less real. That wasn't his issue. His issue was that he had failed his brothers, and now, a huge fan base of Supernatural fans all over the world knew about it. Why couldn't his failures simply be his own? Why did a billion other people have to be privy to that?
And then, there was something he hadn't really considered until now. He knew his brothers were from the future, that they had seen far beyond the moment when the doors came closing in on him and he was alone with the one person? entity? fear? that would change his life forever. They hadn't told him anything about his future, and to be fair, he hadn't asked either, but somehow, finding out about it like this felt like a betrayal. Not only was he taken up by Michael and forced to do a number of atrocities in his name (many of which were directed at his own brothers), but everyone with a working television set and knack for searching wikipedia knew about it. Why did that bother him so much? It wasn't because his reputation was at stake or anything, though maybe he felt that if it was out there for all the world to see, then somehow, some way, his mother would know about it too. And disappointing her was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
Frowning, Adam slid lower in his seat as he waited for Sam to join him. Suddenly, he wasn't in the mood to talk anymore, and he didn't really want to listen either. He wanted to cling to the table for dear life, because if what he had to look forward to was a non-life stuck in the Cage with Michael and Lucifer, then that was a fate worse than death. Suddenly, his fear was very real, and for as much pain and agony as he thought he could endure, he wasn't sure he could face that. Not now. Not in a million years. The thought alone made him shudder involuntarily, and he was immensely glad when Sam finally walked through the doors of the bar, because Adam felt like he could pass out any minute now.