To Everyone
I'll start with the summary: you are all the most amazing and awesome group of people ever. I've been a part of several online communities over the past decade, RP and non-RP alike, but in one night you guys topped them all.
I've always had social anxiety issues and despite what some people may say, text-based communication on a screen is not necessarily easier than face-to-face. Like I told Rho, I don't have first steps in joining things, I have first heart attacks. The groups I've joined, I always joined when they were small in hopes of an easier time adapting and introducing myself to people. My track record there was decent enough and when the link to this RP popped up in Swooping_is_Bad I lurked around for at least a week, gauging its size and all that, before joining. I was excited. I told myself "I can do this." I wasn't too worried that my choice of an older Legionnaire character prevented me from joining in the rampant backscening that started up, trusting I'd get my playtime when official scenes came around.
And then somehow the playerbase exploded. In my head I knew I had absolutely no reason to be afraid of anyone. I'd read along chats and comments in the OOC board and I already knew from that alone that you were an awesome bunch. But any time I tried to wander to the IRC login, or even to a PM/OOC Contact Post to try and think something up, I'd balk and back off again. There were so many of you flying scenes and chats all over the place and how could I possibly work my way into that rapport now? Again: a baseless fear in my head, but something completely different in my gut and nerves, as is how these anxieties tend to go.
But then a little encouragement goes a long way. After those couple comments I got from Ordhan and Alderic on the YouAreAmazing post I was trying to rev myself up for another go again, at the same time I wandered by the OOC board and had a small heart attack when That Thread appeared, my name at the top. The comments went from 0 to 7 in one refresh, to 9, 11, 15, 20, 27... I was STUNNED. I had NO idea everyone was so aware of me despite my comparatively minor board presence. I honest-to-goodness teared up and got a little bit of the shakes, I was so touched and astounded. It wasn't just a little encouragement, it was a FLOOD.
And you know the rest. I pulled myself together, logged in, and there was a party and a Room Topic named after me.
Thank you. Just... thank you. For somehow figuring out exactly what I needed to get over that first massive and unnecessarily frightening hurdle. For caring.