OOC - Evelyn being at the McLeods' house for Christmas approved with McLeod author. IC -
Mathias Stones did not hang stockings; that was something Evelyn and Charity did together every year. He also did not bake cookies, decorate a tree, or otherwise allow any sign of the Christmas holidays to permeate the home that would usually have been decorated in rich reds, greens, blues, golds, and silvers by Christmas Eve. He had no plans to stay up late or wake up early, the way Charity would have insisted if they were to be maintaining that Santa had visited Evelyn in the night. He had no plans to set out cookies or milk, only to drink them later himself. He had no plans to acknowledge the holiday spirit at all, because there was none.
Just Mathias.
He’d thought of getting the social worker a present, but wasn’t sure if that was appropriate. In any case, with Evelyn away for the holidays, she hadn’t seen a need to stop by as often, and he wasn’t sure when he would’ve given it to her anyway. Other than a quick stop to confirm that Evelyn had left part way through the break, the social worker had not returned. She had the McLeods’ address, but Mathias didn’t know if she ever went there. It seemed to Mathias that nobody who left him ever returned, and he wasn’t entirely sure that wasn’t his fault.
Despite himself, 10:00pm on Christmas Eve found Mathias in the cookie aisle of the local grocery store, trying to remember what Evelyn’s favorite cookies were. A memory rose unbidden to her first Christmas, when Charity had been too exhausted trying to care for a newborn to take the time to make cookies and they’d just eaten Oreos together instead. There was no need to hide from the baby because the baby couldn’t eat Oreos. And because the baby didn’t know what “Santa isn’t real” meant.
Now, balancing Charles on his hip and trying to ignore the toddler’s cooing, Mathias grabbed a package of Oreos to go with the milk he’d already picked out. There was nothing to hide anymore because there was no one to hide anything from. It wasn’t fair. There was no one to hide anything anyway.
Just Mathias.
A clerk at the front of the store wished Mathias a happy holidays as the latter took his receipt from the cashier, an older woman who was still smiling at Charles as if he was the most precious thing she’d ever seen. A shiny nametag read “Jake” and the clerk looked to be only a few years older than Evelyn. Mathias wondered whether she would like to work at the grocery store over the holidays. She’d blend in as a Muggle well enough that he wasn’t worried about that part at least. That was, if she came back. At least he knew he wouldn’t have to worry about that with the new baby.
“You’re Mr. Stones, right?” Jake asked suddenly. “My sister, Sarah, was friends with Evelyn in Kindergarten.” He smiled at Mathias, breaking eye contact to look around as if he expected Evelyn to appear from behind her father’s back. “Is Evelyn around? I saw her over the summer and thought I’d say hi if she was.”
Mathias didn’t bother to identify what the discomfort on the boy’s face was about. He didn’t bother to explain. “No,” he said. “Just me.” Jake’s eyebrows came together in confusion and he, too, looked at Charles. “Just me and the boy,” Mathias clarified.
Mathias Stones did not hang stockings, bake cookies, or decorate a tree. He put Charles to sleep on time – the baby didn’t know what Christmas was anyway – and took a photo of Charity and Evelyn from a frame in the living room. It was a muggle photo, and the frozen image of his wife and child were haunting. Charles’ crib was in Evelyn’s room and Mathias sat on his daughter’s bed as he quietly ate Oreos and drank a glass of milk by himself. He remembered tucking in a princess with big dreams many years previously, and now he only had a little boy here. Charles was supposed to be Mathias’ second chance, but hadn’t turned out to be at all. Instead, the boy was only a reminder of everything that should have been. Mathias was a father and a husband, and it wasn’t fair that that night, sitting in a dark house eating Oreos on Christmas Eve, he was alone.