Why do you have to go and make things so complicated? Ava stood before the apartment complex still wearing her graduation gown. It was nothing like she thought it would be, but then again she hadn’t really thought about where her mother lived when she wasn’t home. She’d grown up thinking that Charlotte spent all her days away traveling and healing. It was only now that she realized this wasn’t the case—that Charlotte had been lying to her from the beginning, and forcing Papa to lie to her too. Ava frowned. She would eventually forgive her grandfather for what he’d done, of that she was certain, but in that moment, it hurt too much. And now that she was here, unsure about what to say to the woman who had given birth to her.
Ava’s fingers twitched towards the wand she normally kept rather haphazardly in her jeans pocket, now stashed in her robe’s pocket. There had been so many things she wanted to do after her graduation, so many conversations she’d needed to have, but one small piece of paper accompanied with a heavy hand and a sad smile had changed it all. After taking a deep breath, she walked forward, climbing the staircase, each step that she took feeling heavier than the last. The buzzer on the side of the door asked her for her name and after a beat, Ava gave it. The buzzer sighed heavily and the front door creaked open, allowing Ava to step inside. Either her mother had put her on the list of people allowed in the building or the building had poor security. Ava hoped it was the latter because if it was the former it would make what she had to do that day a whole lot harder.
The inside of the building was like no apartment building Ava had ever seen before—but then again she only had Sonora and the Kijewski-Jareaus to compare any wizarding living quarters to. It was incredible just being inside that building, she felt as though she were in some sort of a dream, it was like she was walking through Mr. Darcy’s mansion or a magical apartment building to that equivalent. Brooms swept the hallways, moving independently while rags washed the windows and dusted the banister. The walls were white and pristine and the floor was shiny and looked as though no one ever used it. She looked around for numbers and then back down to the piece of paper in her hand. Apartment number 440. She walked forward, her shoes clicking themselves across the shiny floor to the spiral stone staircase. She placed a hand on the banister and made her way up the stairs to the fourth floor.
Upon reaching the fourth floor she moved forward, making a left as the signs pointed her in that direction until she came to a halt in front of door 440. She raised a hand and knocked on the door. She waited, no answer. She knocked again and this time she strained her ears, not even the sound of footsteps. Ava slumped against the wall rather unhappily. The sound of a door opening behind her caused her to stand up straight, but it was only a very wrinkly old woman dressed in a magenta robe. “Are you looking for Charlotte?” The witch asked her and Ava nodded. “She went out on a date, dearie” she said. “I’m not really sure when she will get back but it should be soon, she never stays out too late.”
Ava nodded, but the witch had already turned her back to her and was waddling down the hallway rather quickly for such an old woman. Ava resumed her position leaning against the wall by the door to apartment 440 and she soon found herself nodding off. The wall was uncomfortable and her legs felt as though they were going to give out, but Ava refused to sit down. It was only when her right leg began to fall asleep and her left leg began to give out that Ava gave in to the temptation and allowed herself to sink to the floor. She was only there for what felt like a few moments when she was roused by a gentle, calm voice.
“Ava?” She looked up, bleary-eyed and vaguely made out the shape of a well-dressed witch and an unfamiliar wizard. Ava struggled to stand up and her mother leaned forward to help her but she shook off her hands. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m fine,” Ava said. She eyed the strange wizard suspiciously. “Can we talk?”
“O-of course,” Charlotte replied. It was the first time Ava had ever heard her mother stutter and she nearly turned around and left, feeling guilty for having let it get to this point but there really was no stopping her in the end. She was tired of being walked over and it was time Charlotte knew that. “You should probably go,” Charlotte said to the man, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’ll owl you later or something. I had a good time.”
“As did I,” the man said, his low voice vaguely familiar to Ava but she didn’t really have time to pay attention to that now and she ignored it. He gave Charlotte a slight bow and turned to go.
“Should-should we go in then?” Charlotte asked hesitantly, obviously able to read some sort of unhappiness in Ava’s eyes. Ava only nodded and her mother opened the door with shaking hands, the keys on her key ring jingling together in an eerie manner as she did.
Stepping in to Charlotte’s apartment was crazy. Since finding out about the apartment earlier that day Ava had imagined the scene going a thousand different ways, but now that she saw the spotless high class flat with perfectly matching furniture and no photos up anywhere save for one framed portrait of Ava’s father, she saw red. “What the hell are you doing here, mom?” she demanded, her voice cold, her brows furrowed.
“I live here,” Charlotte replied, taking off her perfectly pressed beige camel coat and hanging it on the wire coat rack both of which looked like they came out of the pages of a very expensive fashion magazine. “How did you find me?”
“Papa,” Ava said simply.
“Oh.”
“You didn’t think he would lie to me forever, did you?” Ava asked incredulously. “And here I am, innocent naive girl that I was, I actually believed for years, years that my own mother actually lived with me, isn’t that a funny thought.” She gave a barking laugh that sounded completely out of place coming from her mouth, a laugh that echoed on the clean, bare walls of the fancy apartment. “And then I come here, thinking that maybe you just needed a place closer to work, somewhere small that you could store your traveling things because goodness knows you never had them with you in Port Townsend!”
Ava saw Charlotte going to open her mouth but she held up a hand. “No,” she said. “Let me finish! Here I was, thinking that you spent eleven months out of the year selflessly traveling and giving yourself to the less fortunate.” ( “I do,” Charlotte pressed.) “Don’t lie to me, mother,” Ava said nastily. “I called your work, you know. I called your work after Papa gave me this address and you know what they told me? That you only have to be gone a few months out of the year, that for the rest of the year you’re here, in New York, working. Isn’t that funny?”
“But my job’s here,” Charlotte insisted. “I need to be close to my job.”
“You can apparate, can’t you?” Ava asked, tears nearly springing from her eyes. “Or floo? And even if those were expensive options looking around here I can tell you can more than afford it!” Charlotte only bowed her head. “So what is it? What is it about me that you can’t stand?” A tear actually fell from Ava’s eye and once that left, the dam broke and all the emotions that had been bottled up for the better part of the past eleven years of her life came out. “Why don’t you love me enough to stay?”
Charlotte turned her head away from Ava and Ava stepped forward, planning to reach for her mother’s face and force her to look her in the eyes but Charlotte flinched and Ava stepped back, horrified that Charlotte thought she would actually hit her. “Just tell me, please,” she pleaded. “I’ll go away and leave you alone forever, you’ll never have to see me again, just tell me, please.”
“I don’t hate you,” Charlotte’s voice said, breaking. “I could never hate you.”
“Then why weren’t you around?” Ava pressed.
“I was around,” Charlotte argued, but Ava could tell that she didn’t really think that was true.
“Don’t lie,” Ava said shaking her head. “I’m not an idiot or a child anymore so don’t treat me like one. Why weren’t you around? You were never around. You were never there for me when I needed you. You sent cards on my birthday and you’d try to come back for Christmas and a couple weeks in the summer even if it wasn’t on my actual birthday.” She sniffed, trying to hold back the rest of the tears. “And I know you brought me and Papa things and you always took me school shopping so I’d have nice things to wear, but none of that mattered to me. I just wanted you there every night at dinner so I could tell you about my day, and in the morning to wake up and see you, for you to tuck me into bed and read me a goodnight story.”
“I just couldn’t be around you,” Charlotte said, turning her back to Ava, the action infuriating the eighteen-year-old even more. “You remind me too much of Noah. You look just like him.” Charlotte’s voice broke but instead of feeling sorry for her, Ava sneered.
“You’re a coward,” she said, quite aware of how she probably both looked and sounded with tears and snot dripping down her face and malice dripping from her mouth. “You’re a coward and I hate you.”
“You don’t mean that,” Charlotte said. “I know you don’t, you’re just angry.”
“No,” Ava said. “I do mean that. I’m glad to know that going on a date with some guy was more important than your only child’s graduation. I hate you—hate you!” Ava gasped for air, the fight that had previously been there was suddenly gone. “I-I have to get out of here,” she said more to herself than to her mom. “I need some air, I have to go.” She stumbled for the door, pushing it open and tore down the hallway, running faster than she’d ever run before, nearly tripping down the stairs as her hair—once so perfectly combed out of her eyes, had mingled with her tears and stuck to her face, blocking her clear line of sight. She barreled past the old witch in magenta (was she really just getting back at this hour?) and through the door and on to the street.
The yellow glow from the street lamps seemed to be mocking her as Ava found an alley tucked away that she deemed to be safe for apparating, and she apparated home, popping in to her living room, not even stopping to think that her bedroom might have been a safer place in case Papa had invited his friends over. He jumped when Ava appeared in the living room, hot tea splashing all over himself and his favorite easy chair, but he set the mug down on the side table and stood up in a hurry when he saw Ava was crying.
“What’s wrong, Mermaid?” he asked her, with a worried tone in his voice.
“Nothing,” she sobbed. “Just, if mom comes here, don’t let her in, okay?” She made her way upstairs, locking her room door behind her and casting the necessary wards to keep unwanted visitors from apparating in. There was only one person that she thought she might have felt up to seeing that night, but she was certain that it wasn’t going to happen and as she lay there curled in her sweatpants and over-sized Aladren t-shirt, hair still half-pinned up, make-up smeared, she decided it was all for the better that no one would come because really, she wasn’t in the mood to entertain.