Katherine didn't watch as he left. Instead, she rose herself and walked back into the kitchen. Her hand opened the cabinet in which Bart kept his whiskey, then stopped, shutting it quietly.
It wasn't what she wanted.
What she wanted was impossible and not what she'd told Alistair at all. She wanted him to make it happen and then, Katherine thought, she'd been irrational when his response was what any sane person's would have been. No. She paused. Actually, it had been kinder.
"You're a fool, Katherine," she whispered to herself. "A goddamn fool." Her hand opened the drawer again, resting a knife on the counter, then taking out bread and peanut butter again. The motion of making a sandwich, however sick she felt in the pit of her stomach, was soothing. It was a step towards doing something and the scent itself reminded her of those days, however distant, when she hadn't been a monster.