Aidan considered that. That he wouldn't ever be ready. It wasn't quite what he'd been referring to, but it still gave him pause. There was a truth to that. Aidan had to fight all the time to be clean. To live as he did, free of living blood and the asshole it made him into. It was easier to not care about people, to drink blood as he wanted, to take victims and be Aidan Waite, the vampire that other vampires feared.
As much as he wanted to be a good person, was he ready to dive back into that? And if he wasn't, would he ever be? This last misstep was a hell of a stumble, and it had been so fast. It had taken him over so fucking quickly. Maybe he'd wanted it. Maybe he'd wanted to be a monster again.
Aidan shook his head a little. "I really kind of meant that I wasn't ready because I'm not to the point yet where it's safe to be around other people. I have to be... a little better before then."
He played with the open bag of seeds. "I don't want to hurt anyone else."