"Almost wasn't," she murmured, ducking into his apartment when he invited her. She didn't know when it stopped being strange to see his eyes -- maybe sometime on the island? But seeing him like this, like so many others didn't get to, she found she liked it. She actually did. Made her feel more special than other people. Maybe even more special than --
Well, that was just uncharitable, wasn't it? She pressed her tongue against the inside of her cheek and didn't think about the new blonde in the office. Or, she told herself that she wasn't thinking about her.
When Rose saw the effort Matt had put up for her, though - the table settings, the wine, how everything looked exactly in its place - Rose really did forget about their newest workmate. Her smile was warm and soft.
"Your place is really nice," she said, realizing that he'd been in her place but she'd never seen his. She wanted to see more of the place, but it'd be rude to ask. She let him lead the way, listening for any clues as to where he wanted her to be. Maybe straight to dinner? Maybe to the couch to talk while dinner finished? She was so bad at all this. The only serious boyfriend she'd had was Jimmy Stone, and he... Well, he was a bit of an arse, wasn't he? And there was Mickey, but... Mickey. Sweet, harmless Mickity-Mick-Mick-Mick. Her smile faded a little. He ended up doing all right, he did, but it wasn't on account of Rose.
No, that was all because of someone else. Rose looked at her hands, feeling at once like she was cheating on someone who'd abandoned her and pushed her away too often to count -- and also angry for even thinking about the Doctor now. After so long, she'd... Rose squared her shoulders and shook her hair back. No. No Doctor. She wondered when that wound was gonna heal.
"D'ya have things that don't ever feel like they're ever gonna get better?" she asked suddenly, and then could kick herself. The answer was obvious. She was such an idiot.