i_lovetoplay Happy Massacre Day [ Open / Narrative ]
The City Zoo had been broken into. Broken into most spectacularly. Harley Quinn was not going to be alone on Valentine's Day. So she went to get her babies. And sure as paint, they'd been in that miserable place with a bunch of other poor unloved hyenas. So she'd smashed up the enclosure with the same weapon she'd used to smash open the gate; a really big truck.
Bright red of course.
Now, Bud and Lou were fighting over a piece of cow carcass in the pick-up's bed and Harley was headed straight for the park in the center of town. I-man was nice and all, but she'd spotted the coppers knocking on his door when she'd gone up to see him a few days ago. And now he was going in and out of their main place like he worked there. Which would be just her luck.
It wasn't what had pushed her over the edge, though. What had pushed her over, was walking past a row of cars, just after midnight and seeing the words 'love' and 'forever' written on them in blood. It was gross, tacky, hilarious and creepy. It was, Jokeresque. And it'd made her feel so lonely she couldn't think straight.
She'd been waiting and waiting and putting off going to Red's because he just had to be here. There was Green Robin and she was sure she'd seen Superman. And one Boy Wonder at least with the spanky pants. Which meant he was here. The Bat. And if the Bat was here, then her puddin' just had to be too!
But he wasn't.
Unless, he didn't want to find her.
Why wouldn't he want to find her ?
She rubbed at her face, smearing tears and face paint. She didn't mind when he ignored her. But, this place was all whacky and strange and it could be wonderful with him. She considered what to do at a green light, while the people behind her either shouted and cursed, or slowly shuffled around her, realizing that there were real live, feral, animals in the back of the truck and they could pop out at any moment.
Red didn't like the cold, and it was cold in this stupid City. She wouldn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Well Harley wanted to do something. Live it up a little. And she couldn't live it up without champagne. So that meant a supermarket.
She brightened at the thought, putting the truck in gear and randomly turning left on a right driving one way street. Maybe the store would also have chocolate.
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/14/2006 19:40:10
Jack was happily writing a dirty limerick on a building wall in the leftover blood.
There once was a lady from Spain...
Was as far as he'd gotten when the big truck turned the corner and blinded him with it's bright annoying lights.
He had to press himself up against the wall to get out of the line of fire, which caused a bit of dirty limerick to be smeared on his back.
There was a car coming in the opposite direction. Something sporty and slinky, black and fast. The driver stuck his head out of the door to curse at the truck driver; Harley.
She was in no mood for it, and stuck her head out, jangly jester ears and all to curse him back, when there was a howl from behind her, and the truck suddenly felt lighter as two rabid animals went scrambling into the darkness behind the truck.
"Babies ?" The man was still cursing, so Harley rammed him and slipped out of the truck, ignoring him for the moment though she had her staff in hand. "Here boys, Bud, Lou, mama's taking you shopping."
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/15/2006 07:30:28
At first all he could see was two hulking shadows, low to the ground, headed very quickly at him. So he did the only thing he could think of. Jack pulled a gun. Luckily he heard a familiar faint wheezing laughter before he fired, which he was on the verge of doing. He squinted and saw.
"BOYS!" Jack dropped to his knees and opened his arms for the two hyenas. "Bud! Lou! Where did you come from! Good boys!"
He spent a moment loving on them and then stood again. "You have no collars. No leashes. There's a leash law in this city, you know. We're going to have to change that. Come on, boys. There are some people that I'd really like you to eat."
"Hey you." Harley said, only seeing someone not being torn limb from limb by her babies. Which they shouldn't have done, since they weren't hungry. But which didn't please her at all, none the less.
"Get your hands off my babies." The staff in her hand sprouted a blade at the bottom and Harley flipped it easily in her hands so the pointy end was pointing at the stranger as she came nearer. It'd taken her ages to find the right paint to paint her little cane red and white.
She paused suddenly, there was something about the tone. Harley peered. "Mistah J ?"
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/15/2006 12:43:37
"Your babies!?" He whipped around to get into it, but she said his name and he sneered. "Oh. You. I sort of thought about you today, but nothing special, so don't get all girly on me."
Jack kept his hands on the hyenas, scratching behind one ear and then the other.
Harley blinked, half-smiled and twirled the staff in her hands. "I...I was on my way to get something special for the day. The Babies and I were gonna go shopping."
She looked down at the hyenas between them while nervously smoothing out non-existent wrinkles on a skin-tight suit. "Look babies, Daddy's here." Harley tilted her head, pompoms bouncing. "How long have you been here, sugar ?"
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 07:36:48
Jack shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe a week. Probably a little longer. I really haven't paid much attention to time."
"N-No." She said, obviously lying. Harley sniffed, then shrugged. "Well, maybe a little bit. But only because I was so happy to find the babies." She added with a determined nod.
Then, with a tone of outrage. "They had them in the Zoo! In a cage! Our babies! All locked away." Harley grinned, bouncing a bit on her toes. "So I broke them out, and we were gonna go shopping. But we could do whatever you want to do, Mistah J."
She suddenly brightened even more. "It was you writing love letters on the cars, wasn't it, pookie!" She sighed. "They were beautiful."
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 09:15:42
Jack sniffed at her lies. His eye twitched. "Yeah. It was me." No reason to try to hide it. She'd know even if he never told her.
And he didn't like the idea of the boys being in a zoo. He'd have to talk to somebody about that. Violently.
"Look. If you're gonna come do anything with me, you're gonna have to change."
She glanced at her costume and then up at the buildings and the City, really. "Oh yeah." She said looking down again at his hair. "I kinda wanted to make a point when I broke 'em out."
She looked up hopefully. "But you used to let me keep the paint on at least... ?"
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 11:22:08
Jack thought about it. What could paint hurt. He was already pale as hell. Did it matter?
"Yeah fine."
Jack sat on the ground between the hyenas.
"Hurry it up. The night isn't getting any younger. There's a clothing store around the corner. Or there was when I passed by a half hour ago. If it's still there, it's an easy target."
She had a change of clothes in the cab of the truck, but if he wanted her to get something new, she'd get herself something new.
But on her glance back to the truck, she saw the posh car owner she'd just rammed. He was making his way around on the one way street, cell-phone in hand, black trenchcoat flapping as he cursed loudly, both into the phone and at them.
He pointed at her . "You!"
Harley pouted. "Way to interrupt a special moment, fella. Can't you see I'm otherwise engaged ? Don't be rude now."
But if he noticed her unique outfit he paid no mind. "I want your insurance. Name and insurance right now, you crazy bitch."
Her head went to the side, looking at him rather like a cat watching a bit of dangly string. "Puddin' ? While I get myself all dolled up, don't you forget to get your coat. I know it's not your usual colour, but it'll match now, won't it ? And you'll be warm."
She turned and beamed a moment at Joker before beginning to whistle and make her way around the corner to the store, twirling her cane and skipping all the way there.
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 12:23:35
Jack narrowed his eyes at the man.
"You gotta problem?" He stood up again, and patted the hyenas.
"That bitch hit my car!" The man screamed.
Jack shook his head. "Really. It's not that big of a deal. You were still alive after, right?"
And he wouldn't be in a couple moments.
"What the fuck do you mean?" The guy was still angry, but no longer held the physical posture.
"Boys?" Jack patted them again. "Just don't fuck up the jacket."
The hyenas snarled at the man and pounced. There were only a few seconds worth of screaming before there was just the sound of hungry animals eating.
Jack stepped in and pulled the trenchcoat free. It was bloody, but not torn. They were such good puppies.
He returned to his spot on the ground to wait for Harley, and watched the boys with a big grin on his face.
Harley returned in just under ten minutes, paint on but hat off. She paused looking down at the mess.
"I just fed you two greedy boys." She frowned. "And look at you, you've got blood all over your mouths. Messy babies."
The boutique around the corner was a store that most people never went in. Buzzer for the door, snobby assistants. But it was the wee hours of the morning and Harley'd built up steam ramming things.
The dancing chain of red and golden jewelry around her neck, matched the red satin open front gress. It was probably never intended to be worn with pants as gown-like as it was, far less leather. But Harley wasn't going to soon give up her ability to move just for a dress.
Her stern look faded as she looked for Joker's approval. "Like it Mistah J ?" She had extra in a bag just in case. But if he didn't want her in costume, it was still Valentine's Day.
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 12:48:18
He tilted his head, looking her over. "Interesting choices. Not horrible."
Jack stood and picked up his bucket of bits and blood. Then looked at the dead man.
"Maybe I should harvest the rest of him."
The hyenas looked about done, and Jack was confident they wouldn't eat him or bite him for interrupting anyway. So he moved them over and started pulling out the remaining organs and plunking them into the bucket.
"I'm sure we can find things to do with all of this."
She wrinkled her nose. "It smells." But quick to deflect any possible anger, she piped up immediately with. "Maybe you could decorate police cars with him."
Then, to further sweeten the pot. "Wanna drive the truck ?"
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 12:59:06
Jack looked over at the truck. It was smashed pretty good, but looked like it'd still go.
"Yeah. Yeah. Let's take the truck."
As he walked over to it, he kicked the dead man in the head, just for fun. It made a squishy sound.
"I'm done with cars for the night, I think. I'd like to do something big and spectacular."
Harley made two sharp whistles. "Boys, back in the truck you naughty things. Now."
There was some growling and a whine from the two animals but Harley simply repeated 'Now' sharply. She pulled down the tailgate and waited for them, all the while thinking about what Her Puddin' might want to do.
"Big.. There's that weird naked building in the other part of town." She slammed her tailgate shut behind the hyenas, moving to the passenger side of the cab.
"But whatever you plan, won't it have to be where the buildings don't move around so much, so it won't mess up your affect, honey ?"
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 13:11:32
Jack tilted his head at her. "Big naked building?"
He got into the truck and started scanning the skyline. "I don't think there's anywhere here that the buildings don't move, Harley. Nothing is ever the same."
There was no big naked statue that he could see. He imagined that when she said big, she meant big. And now it was eating at him. He had to see the big naked statue.
She nodded. "Yeah, it's kinda like our heads, huh puddin' ? Nothing ever in the same place twice."
In the truck she pulled her bags onto her lap, nose crinkling as she thought. "I was trying to..." Trail I-man. "See where the coppers go and I got all turned around and ended up over a bridge only it wasn't the right bridge when I got across. And there it was, a big naked statue. Or building. Big naked something! And when I looked over the river, I could see bits of the park."
She was frowning but perked up slightly. "So, we drive past the park, yeah and we should see it then. It's real big."
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 13:27:17
He shrugged. "Good enough for me."
The bucket of gore was on the seat next to him. He was sort of holding onto it with one hand, but mostly not.
He drove the truck like a bat out of hell and all over the road. There was nobody out tonight, unfortunately, or he would have most certainly run over at least three people.
Jack had no idea which way the park was.
There hadn't been much exploration on his part. So he kept an eye open for it, not really looking where he was going.
And it wasn't really working. He'd have to ask for directions. Jack pulled into the oncoming lane, shot a curb and ended up facing backwards in a drive-through lane.
Mr. J's driving was, well, Mr. J's driving. The only time he drove worse was when he was madly trying to hit every golfer in funny pants when he crashed the country club. Harley was really glad they weren't driving on grass. For all sorts of reasons.
She leaned out the window and smiled at the kid. "Hiya pup. I'd like... one large order of fries and directions to the park. Or y'now that big freaky naked building across the bridge. Either is good." She was twirling her hair.
Behind them Bud and Lou were sneezing and wuffling now there was no longer any hard driving breeze. One, Harley was certain it was Lou, cause it sounded like Lou, gave a bit of a sleepy howl.
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 13:35:46
"And a milkshake!" Jack screamed across at the kid.
He kept an eye on the boys in the back. To make sure they didn't jump out. The kid was staring at them too.
"Pay attention to the chick, Scooter."
A hyena nose bumped into the back window, and then a great big tongue slathered the glass.
The kid turned blue. Which was kind of funny, cause Harley always thought you had to stop breathing to turn blue. But turn blue he did, and then he screamed. Harley sighed, reached into her bag and pulled out a gun.
"Hey. HEY! One large order of fries, new underpants for you and a milkshake." She looked back. "What flavour puddin ? Strawberry to mark the day ?"
Harley didn't turned back around to face the kid, she just cocked the gun. "And instructions." She put her hand up on the smeared glass. "And two apple pies. The babies might want dessert."
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 13:43:05
"Strawberry." Jack agreed. "And a pound of meat."
There was no reason for the meat. "RAW meat!"
He just wanted to freak the kid out more.
The kid wasn't moving, so Jack pulled out a gun too. He pointed it past Harley, a little haphazardly. "MOVE, Scooter. I want my fucking milkshake."
There was a gun poking under her arm. Harley sighed and turned back around prepared to shoot, but the kid was moving. And peeing. But at least he was moving and shouting.
She watched him throw everything in a bag, including a couple of cooked burgers that looked like extras. Which would be good, they'd probably be hungry after they did whatever it was they were gonna do.
There was another kid in the back and she was the one who came out, numbly, hands shaking, with a big clear container of raw ground beef. Harley figured she was who he'd been screaming at.
"Awwh, you gots y'self a girlfriend. You should get her something nice. It's the day and all." She reached for the bag, gun in hand. "Oh the milkshake, you go get it, your girlfriend can stay here and tell us how to get to the park."
She was a tiny little dark haired thing. And for some odd reason she was crying. "Stop blubbering, y'll never keep a man if you keep acting like a whiney baby. You got to keep 'em happy, never disagree wit'em and make sure they get their strawberry shakes."
The girl didn't seem to be listening. "The p-p-p-ark's just, you go, it's like, you go straight down this road and then t-there's Endive, you t-t-turn right and Endive'll take you right to the park."
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 13:56:09
"Stop crying!" Jack shouted at her. He hated crying. He hated it so much. It made him feel violent things toward the ones doing the crying.
He really just wanted to shoot her. His finger twitched on the trigger, and he had to fight to keep from doing it.
Harley'd have to hold the food. Cause the bucket took up a lot of room. Both Bud and Lou could smell the food, though, he could tell by the way they'd started drooling.
Hadn't they just eaten a guy? How could they be so starved. Maybe the zoo didn't feed them the right way.
Not only had they just eaten a guy, there was still half a cow in the bed of the truck they'd been gnawing at while Harley drove. Bud and Lou were clearly being little over indulgent piggies, happy to have all Mommy's and Daddy's attention.
Bud whined and Harley clucked at him in her sternest Mommy voice. "Someone's being a naughty little hyena about to get a time out!"
She pulled back in to put her stuff on the ground between her feet, so she could be free to hold the food. But as she reached over to get the meat, the girl fainted dead away. There was a sharp crack as her head hit the tiled floor.
The boy, overfilling a cup with strawberry flavoured dairy gelatin sqawked and tried to scramble back to the window. He handed Harley the cup, over the girl's body and then bent down, calling out a name.
"Our meat." Harley said quietly. She passed Joker his milkshake and stretched her other hand out the window, gun ready. "You can have your way with her later, we want our meat."
Incredulous reddened eyes turned her way and the boy numbly picked up the clear plastic bag and handed it over. His hands were covered with blood.
"Oh, she fell down." Harley said sadly. She met the boy's eyes. "You should call 911." Looking over at Joker. "Want his wallet, sugar ?"
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 14:13:25
Jack thought about it. "Yes. Yes, that would be a good idea. And I think I'd like all the cash in the register too, while he's at it. And if there's anybody else in their, I want all their purses and wallets too."
He took the bag of food from Harley and dug in it for the apple pies. Then hung out the driver's side window to feed them to the boys.
They loved the sweet sticky filling and licked his hands for remains long after there wasn't anything left.
Harley flicked her thumb on her gun and put it on the dashboard. She reached in for napkins to wipe the blood off her hands and was very glad her other bag was waterproof. She'd put the meat down on the floor and wipe off her bag after.
She looked over as she cleaned her hands and scolded 'Scooter'. "Don't make me get out of this car young man. We've been very lenient on you, taking your girlfriend to work with you, getting our orders all wrong. " Harley made a 'gimme me' motion.
"Come on now, the money."
He was still blinking. But he reached into his backpocket and passed over his wallet and then went to the cash registers.
"Y'know what I miss ?" Harley said conversationally to Joker. "Scarecrow's gas." She munched a french fry as their, no puddin's money was collected in another take out bag and flipped open the kid's wallet, pulling out his ID.
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 14:27:56
"I'm sure I can come up with something better." He said over his shoulder into the cab. He was currently eyeing the side of beef in the back of the truck.
How hilarious would it be to push it through the drive through window?
Jack scrambled out of the truck into the bed. The boys looked at him, confused as he picked up the bloody carcass.
He waited for the money to be passed through to Harley before shoving the beef over the top of the truck and into the window, practically into the kid's arms.
Harley sighed. But it's not as if he didn't feed the boys. And with that much meat, and no cold locker, it would only have rotted anyway. The thought perks her up again and she claps. Maybe he'll even come with her tomorrow when it's time to feed the boys again and bust into another butchers.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow with her and him and the boys. Her family.
Sighing happily, Harley sank back into the seat, waiting for Joker to get back behind the wheel and head them over to Endive.
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 14:38:32
It was a mad scramble to get back into the truck. He slipped on blood and slid in too quickly. For a second he just sat there making faces.
Then the truck was thrown in gear, plants were killed and he was headed off in the dirction he'd been told.
Endive was easy enough to find. The bridge was easy to find, and once past that, the giant naked statue was incredibly easy to find.
It was amazing.
Jack parked far enough away that they could look at it and peered up.
Parked and staring it was something to see. Harley remembered her own first impressions, which had pretty much been the same. Maybe only with a bit more 'Naked!' thrown in.
She moved to slip out of the open window, and sit on it, still munching absently on her fries.
In the truck bed, Bud and Lou were either staring too, or about to fall asleep on their backs now that the truck had stopped moving and they weren't sharing the space with dead meat anymore.
"Big enough ?" Because it mightn't be. Mr.J might have had something completely different in mind.
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/16/2006 14:49:00
"It's huge..." He said almost breathlessly. In awe. Amazed. Intoxicated.
Oh! What to do with it! It seemed like a mighty good thing to decorate for Valentine's. But how could they get past the foot? It was giant!
Maybe they could just use the rest of the gore and make a shrine to it. It deserved a shrine.
Of course, he'd have to stop staring at it in order to get anything done.
She shrugged. "Just appeared one day. Some things just do. Hospitals, stores. People."
Her eyes moved up from the feet to the head and arms. "Don't know what it could be though. Something huge like that. But it's not the strangest thing here." She licked salt off her finger. "Just the biggest."
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/17/2006 07:41:32
"I don't think we should do anything to it. I think we should do something for it."
"Like what, Mistah J ?" Harley tilted her head to the side and blinked a few times. "Rob a fabric store and give it clothes ? That'd take a lot of fabric. " And she thought he liked it naked.
From: [info]i_jest Date: 02/22/2006 14:53:50
"We should build a shrine!"
He pulled himself out of the window of the truck and then opened the door to get at the bucketobits.