War Is Coming Communications.

How many alternate realities can one guy visit in an eternity? Not that I can complain too much. This place definitely beats that cage I was in...

I've often considered creating a horde of mall Santa zombies. Anyone curious about how that one would turn out?

I wonder if I was always this good at insulting people, or if it's a skill that grew and flourished as I aged.

And here's something to really think about: If this skill of mine only gets better as the years go on, what is it going to be like in thirty years? Holy shit. It blows my mind.

Christmas is a strange holiday. Think about it. People sit around a tree eating candy out of a sock. And then theirs the story of Santa, a guy who breaks into your house to deliver presents.

In the spirit of talking about something other than the fact I'm carrying demon sp

Jim Morrison would have been 68 today. And y'know what. Hell yes I still would. Shush Sam, he's on my celebrity list.

You want to go out on a real date? Like, without the dead breakfast club around to ruin it. That kind of date.

So, is stealin' a hyena or two better or worse than stealin' kiddies Christmas presents. I mean in terms of dyin'

Just hypothetically an' all?

Also I HAVE A WHOLE ROOM IN THE HOUSE. ITS AMAZING AND DON'T EVEN HAVE NO TREES IN IT. NOT THAT TREES AIN'T AWESOME AND ALL BUT STILL

I think I've only slept once since I've been here. That's weird, right? People die without sleep, don't they? I should at least be sick or falling over. Something.

So, if I wanted to go find a job (which I kinda do), is there anybody here who would be able to set me up with an identification and anything else I'm going to need? I could pay you. You know, after I actually have more than three dollars to my name.

See, Violet? I told you we had membership cards.

I'm really not getting how someone can fall asleep in California and then wake up in the fucking sticks. Is this some kind of new phenomena that I'm somehow not aware of? Because damn, if it is, I'm way behind on the news.