I feel your pain. Apparently slash fanfic really got started by people shipping Shatner me with Spock Prime, and since my movies have come out there's fanfic shipping me with everyone I've ever come in contact with since I joined Starfleet. I haven't read any of it, and I never will, but the idea that people want me in a threesome with Spock and McCoy or hooking up with Pike is one of the weirdest things I've ever encountered.