InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Poke me in the eye please."

Kenzi Malikov - friend, warrior, heart. (ex_the_kenzi392) wrote in wariscomingcom,
@ 2014-09-11 00:29:00

Entry tags:

buffy summers, claire danvers, felicia hardy/black cat, gamora, hale santiago, james kirk, kenzi, lois lane, peter quill/starlord, peter vincent, rose hathaway, skye, tamsin, tony stark/iron man, tris prior

Filtered against evil bitches!
WHAT UP, NEWBIES? Welcome to Seals 'R Us - the très mystérieux land of monsters, mayhem, and inevitable confusion! I'm Kenzi and my contributions toward your unfortunate post-apocalyptic vacay are as follows:

1. Ruh-roh! You're in an alternate universe! Demons are real! The Seal is an unpredictable mystical douche that could randomly dump you on the moon or turn you into a monkey or send in your worst enemy AT ANY POSSIBLE MOMENT! Well, shit. What's a displaced person to do? Simple: get your party on. Ditch your displaced woes for a night and breathe! You don't know anyone here? No prob! I'll take you out, I'll get to introducing, and soon enough you'll find that you actually aren't as alone in this mess as you think you are.

2. Not much of a drinker? No big! There's one form of therapy that I find even more appealing than washing away your woes behind a bottle - SHOPPING. You're new. You have nothing to wear. It is time, my friends, to treat yo selves. And who better to do it with than your friendly, neighborhood me? Lawrence is limited when it comes to fashion, but I know the wheres and I am all too willing to help you all rustle up a wardrobe worthy of your fab selves.

3. So you don't like shopping. That is incredibly tragic and we're probably going to need to have a serious conversation, but okay, okay. I'll deal. There are still sights to see and places to go and you're probably gonna want to get the lay of the land. If you need a tour guide? Look no further. I've got you covered, ladies and gents.

In other news, I'm off the meds and up and at 'em (hence the post!), but these bandages are super itchy. I've said it before and I'll say it again: PETER PAN AND HIS LOST BOYS ARE LITTLE BITCHES WHO DESERVE TO BE STRANDED ON THAT STUPID ISLAND.

Oh, and Felicia. Dude, I'm glad you're back, but the coffee delivery was really not a thing that needed to happen. You know how I feel about shit coffee that is actual shit.

(Post a new comment)

	lildampeer 2014-09-11 05:51 am UTC (link)
	I like shopping! but doesn't it usually require! you know, money? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	ex_the_kenzi392 2014-09-11 10:58 am UTC (link)
	Of course! But, fortunately for you guys, I've got ~~a swiped wallet or twenty~~ some money to spare. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tinygenius 2014-09-11 05:52 am UTC (link)
	Clothes would be ohmygod so great. The only thing I have that's actually mine right now if a wedding dress. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	ex_the_kenzi392 2014-09-11 11:10 am UTC (link)
	I'm thinking the same type of people who kick puppies, steal candy from babies, and supported Lucifer when he was still kickin' it around here. Generally speaking, individuals who don't have souls. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	captcasanova 2014-09-11 07:59 am UTC (link)
	You sure do know how to get right to the best parts of being here, don't you? And I feel your pain about the bandages. Wrist braces aren't much better. Which makes me doubly glad mine is finally off. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	ex_the_kenzi392 2014-09-11 11:13 am UTC (link)
	Why go over the same dull info when I can skip over to all the shit? They're the worst. Remind me not to get stabbed the next time someone comes running at me with a sword. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)