War Is Coming Communications.

I thought that drinking myself stupid for a couple of days would help me erase the bleghness of Bo being eaten by the seal, right? So hangovers. They're a thing. Know what else is a thing? Coffee. Coffee + hungover Kenzi = a sliiiightly less cranky Kenzi.

But here's the deal. While I'm brewing my delicious, hot, life-saving pot of caffeinated goodness, I decide to hit up Google for some info on this super fancy coffee that Felicia hooked me up with when we hung the other day. I was expecting the massive price tag and I knew that it was from out of the country. Know what I didn't see coming?

The part where it was SHIT out of an ACTUAL ANIMAL.

Dude. Future reference: if you're going to offer someone food or drink, do them a solid and warn them if it had to run through an animal's digestive system before it hits someone elses. Just be like - hey, Kenzi, this coffee you're about to drink was literally shit out of a cat! Or, by the way, the beverage you're about to pour down your throat is completely organic in the most disgusting way possible!

Я собираюсь блевать. И тогда я буду умирать. И тогда я буду рвать снова. Спасибо так очень много, Felicia.

[I'm gonna puke. And then I'm gonna die. And then I'm going to puke again. Thank you so very much, Felicia.]

Stark. Start explaining.

What did you do?

Okay, you know, I am pretty sure I'm not supposed to be in Kansas of all places right now. And while the lady was nice enough to open her internet cafe so I could go on here and check out whatever she was talking about, I'm going to need someone to cut to the chase quickly because I have a pageant to successfully finish, and I'm not about to let the fact I'm in the wrong state stop that from happening.

Is everything all right?

You know, I have to say, I gave you a chance and you just kinda keep kicking that chance down.

And yet, for Henry's sake, I keep defending you.

Give me a reason why. Please tell me it's worth it.

Ok, something is very wrong with this picture. Because for one thing this is not 2080 Jupiter and this is Earth before the Gate Accident! But for some reason I have my scooter and all of my computer gear and tools.

So a little help? Because you have one confused little tech head on your hands right now.

Uh, Rebekah? Caroline? Did one of you bring me here?

Nonononono. Aw come on! I had her right there. I was gonna make her bunnyhop and everything. 

Look, I don't wanna be dramatic or nothing, ...actually I sort of do. But I had places to go and people to annoy the hell out of so, a signpost out of here would be utterly delightful and involve much less unpleasentness overall

A point has been brought to my attention. A point I really don't care for, but should probably be addressed regardless because, actually, it's a perspective and possiblity I hadn't considered. And I doubt anyone can actually answer it definitively because I doubt this is a thing that's ever happened before.

What are the theories behind the end of this war and the people that are here, exactly? Because I'd really rather not go back to being dead. Will we stay? Or will it be all very "Oh, your purpose was served, goodbye now!"?

Everything in this land is so strange. I saw something high in the sky. It was shaped like a bird gliding on the wind, but it didn't move like one. It went in a perfectly straight line, and it was trailing thin clouds behind it. I've seen Rhys sorcerers manipulate clouds before, but nothing like that... whatever it was.

wana sleep. can't. maek it stop. somebody plese just maake the dresms stop.

Ginger is having nightmares similar to mine. I wasn't really sure if our arrangement was secret or not, so I didn't tell her about you, but... Can you help her? Maybe she would make a deal with you like I did.

Okay, so the devil wants us all dead, I missed graduation, we only get to come and go as this weird Seal thing pleases and we’re in some kind of Apocalyptic fight. So now the important questions.

1. I have these great giftcards that need be spent so I can own more than the dress I’m currently wearing. And while I look amazing in it, I feel like I don’t want to wear it forever, so where do people even shop in the middle of Nowheresville, USA?

2. What do you even do in the middle of an Apocalypse? Aside from wear tacky jewelry so you don’t get possessed?

[Vampires]
3. Where are we getting our blood from because you know fish gotta swim, vampires gotta eat. So do we have a blood bag source around here?

Maybe I'm the one who needs my head checked.

[Texts to Emma]
>>So um I know things are already tense right now
>>But I think I found Neal?

[Texts to Dick]
>>Can I quit the drama?
>>Please?
>>Also do you think I can crash on your couch?

I need a favour. Do any of you possess the magic that can add rooms onto a house? I have run out of available bedrooms in my house and it would be nice to have a few spare ones in the event anymore friends from my world show up. When Merlin was here, he added another level to my house, but the level disappeared along with him when the Seal sent him home. Would any of you be willing to help? This would be the easiest way instead of hiring architects and builders to add onto a 19th Century home, and with two young children in the house, I would rather not go down that path.

So.

Apparently I've been Seal-napped again.

Hello, Lawrence.

Who's still here? And...who's new here?

Big news! My Mom's gonna have a baby!! I'm gonna be a big brother!

Magic Users and Illusionists

So... Hi! I hear there's actually real magic here and I figured there might be people like me, too. Illusionists. Not exactly wizardry, but still awesome. I just thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Jack Wilder from New York. Me and a few friends have an act back home, in our world.


ETA Connor Temple

Hi! I'm Jack. Claudia told me that you could help fix me up with ID and everything since I don't technically exist here.

[Charley]
Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. How are you doing?


[Ginger]
Hey. You okay?

[Texts to Stefan Salvatore]

» I'm going to be calling in a favor.
» I plan on getting exceptionally drunk.
» So will be drunk texting you.
» Stephanie.

[Texts to Spike]

» FML.
» All of my life.

[Lois and Zee]

Next time I say 'things are too good to be true, the other shoe has to drop'? Please quit telling me bullshit like 'oh, no, it'll be fine!'

[Belle]

He's here. Neal. Baelfire. In Go Rumple's absence, I thought you might want to know.

[Henry]

I'm really glad we talked, kid. Really, really glad. You're my world, you and your sister. You know that. Deep deep down in that far too big heart of yours, you know you will always be my first priority. There are a lot of people who love you and you should never let one bad incident hurt you for the rest of your life. People will try and kick you down forever. Don't let them. You are so much braver and stronger than that.

[Graham]

I love you.

[Neal]

We should talk
How did you get shot?
Are you all right?
Henry is
Damn

So, i have an apartment in the complex now.. It is much different from the camp in Sherwood, that is for sure. Nice, but different. Although it is far too quiet.I miss everything about the camp.

Also, is there any way we can put skills we gained back home to use here? I am a psyhician, although coming from the 12th century, my skills are a bit outdated. However, I am more than willing to learn all I can about how healers in today's hospitals practice their craft. I can fight, but I was trained to heal, first and foremost.

If anyone has any answers, I'd be grateful to them.

Remember that thing we talked about when all of the recent crazy was going on?