War Is Coming Communications.

Hey beautiful, my friend Mel is kinda having a rough go of things since her husband got yanked through the Seal and sent back. She needs to get out of the apartment, so I'm gonna let her crash here. I'm gonna couch surf, no worries, but I figured I'd give you a heads up so you don't think I'm bein' like shady and shit.

In other news, I fucking miss your face, when are we chillin' next? Also...stop fucking taunting the gods, ya freak, I prefer having my girlfriend in one piece. Just sayin'!

Thirty years old and I don't think I've ever actually done a proper road trip before. I've found the world's largest teapot collection, the gourd museum, and the Haunted Monster Museum. I can't make this crap up.

On the plus side, I've gotten loads of footage. Like, I think I could actually put something together from all of this. Which...is probably good, since I'm unemployed now.

[Roger]

Quit glaring at me. It's not becoming on you. You know you secretly liked stopping at the world's largest ball of twine.

And I still think you should tell them. Freddie and Angel and Ruby. Maureen too, if you want, but definitely the others. They deserve to know, man.

[Faith]

Miss you. Just thought you should know. Want me to give Boston the finger for you when we're headed through?

JOHNNY! YOU'RE A WOMAN AND SHERLOCK'S GOT TATTOOS.

You Americans. You amuse me!

Right. Anyone who's been needing me for whatever, we should be back in a week or something.

[Angel, Freddie and Ruby]

It's AIDS.

Apparently it's time for me to be social again. My boss thought I needed help and tried to hook me up with his daughter. You know your in social trouble when your boss takes pity on you for working too much.

I haven't been around much lately, sorry for that. Needed some time to sort out my thoughts. I noticed we have a few new people here so hey, I'm Dick Grayson. If anyone needs a background for work purposes or existing purposes feel free to ask.

If everyone we thought was fictional actually isn't fictional, does that mean that Scooby Doo is real?

Sexy is gone. Not seal-gone, but gone-gone. She popped off a bit ago and hasn't returned and now I'm feeling all sorts of...

If you've got a moment, would any of you care to help me find her? I've already started looking, but I could use more eyes.

I have her secured at [insert address of warehouse in a nearby city].

Next step, River Song needs to be distracted. I can't have the gun-happy one running around drawing conclusions. I have a plan to send her on a wild goose chase. Would you perhaps be a doll and plant a little something for her to find?

So...babysitting....is messy. And still totally new territory for me. Why do you guys trust me with a baby? Alone. By myself. With no one else around... Okay so there's a complex full of people but whatever. Still a valid point. ....I think she'll be more fun when she can talk. I'm no good at this non-verbal communication thing! ...She's staring at me....she knows I suck at this...

If there's one thing I can appreciate about this world, I've gone an entire week without being out numbered twenty to two in a fight.


[Hercules]
Did you know there are demons here? Demons mean bad for me where you come from right? I really don't want to get killed.

I'm going to throw this Sonic Screwdriver out a window and I'm not even fucking kidding. Push the button in my ear one more time, Clark Anthony. Watch me. Why don't they make quiet toys for children? Seriously! And if I have to hear Mooooooommmmm, Clark keeps locking Robin in jail and I wanna play with him but he won't shaaaaaare! one more time I'm pretty sure my head's going to explode.

Long day. Venting session complete.

[Helena]
How are things going with the baby?

[Scorpius]
Welcome to being off the babysitting hook, thanks for helping out in the in-between times, sweetie, I appreciate it.

[Peter]
Your place sooner than later, yes? Then no worrying about keeping quiet. ;)

I was thinking we should ask Mel to be Emily's Godmom. It might help bring her out of the funk she's in.

And hey look, we can have a conversation about this without you facepalming me!

Since we've had a lot of new people lately I feel like we should have a party. I will need people to do things to make this happen. Shall we 4th of July it or do we want something sooner?

Gods? Can you provide the tequila rain? This should be a long standing arrangement.