|Regina Mills (mostresilient) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2015-08-27 19:32:00
Regina had been balanced precariously on the edge of a figurative cliff since February. Her unborn child had been the only thing keeping her from falling. But little by little the Seal had inched her closer to her breaking point. And it just so happened that one Robin of Locksley had been the final straw. Over the edge she went. Thank gods she had purchased a private island and had a customized villa built on it. It was just what she needed to find her center once again. Only the Seal had other ideas.
The night before they were due to return had been one of confusion, angst and complete unrest. Her dreams that night were unlike the dreams that generally haunted her. Gone were the vivid images of threatening to kill her closest friends. Gone were the images that surrounded the two deaths she had experienced here. Gone were the images of the innocent souls that she had helped turn into soulless vampires. In their place were now vivid images of her future. A future that she had watched play out weekly on a television screen. Never before had she dreamt of how her future played out. Sure, she had thought about it, but those events hardly haunted her dreams. She had far more terrible things to haunt her than a future she wasn’t currently living. Yet now she was dreaming about it and the dreams didn’t feel like just dreams. They were so vivid that she could recall every emotion she felt; pain, sadness, heartbreak, happiness, pride. The list of emotions just went on and on.
When she had awoken with a start, Regina, had initially passed it off as just a nightmare. A rather strange nightmare. But a nightmare nonetheless. Only as the day went on she was more and more convinced that it hadn’t been a nightmare. Regina felt different inside. As if she had lived through all of those moments. And her heart. Oh her heart. It was torn between two loves. It was as if half her heart was filled with all of the love that she had for Greg and their son. And the other half was filled with all the love that she had for Robin Hood and his son. The only thing that made any sense was her love for Henry. That was a constant. In just one night the Seal had managed to unbalance her once again.
Had she not recalled Molly speaking to her about receiving memories that could only have come from the Seal, Regina, would have wondered why she was singled out again. But she wasn’t the first and was undoubtedly not the last either. Perhaps there had even been more affected in such a way and she just wasn’t aware. The hardest part about accepting what the Seal had done wasn’t her new memories. Most of what she had dreamt about she knew thanks to torturing herself week after week. No, what was the hardest to grasp was how torn she was over her love life. Greg was gone but she still loved him so deeply. Their love had been pure enough to reverse her barrenness. Or it could have been the Seal but she would like to believe it had been the connection between them. But she loved Robin just as deeply. And he was here while Greg was not.
Upon their return to Lawrence, it was Rose, who finally gave her the solution to her dilemma. She had two loves. One was here while the other wasn’t. And who may or may not return. By staying away from the one that was here to preserve the memory of the one that wasn’t she was only hurting herself. Regina knew she was right and so she left her son with his Auntie Rose and transported herself outside Casa de Storybrooke. The wards were still in place but she knew how they worked. So long as she meant no harm to those inside she should be able to enter. And enter she did. Regina tapped into the connection she knew existed between them and followed her heart to where he was. When she finally saw him she whispered, though loud enough for him to hear, “Robin,” and a rare genuine smile could be seen on her face.
Robin was finding this land even stranger than the one he had left, if that were possible. He was no stranger to magic or to fantastical creatures, but the whims of the seal were a mystery to him, as were the manner of beasts to be found here. It was with the help of those he knew from home, like Baefire - or Neal, as he knew the man preferred to be called - that he was beginning to find his place here. He'd enrolled in the classes offered in an attempt to learn more about his new reality. He'd gotten Roland enrolled in a school appropriate to his age in this land and he'd started seeking gainful employment for himself, as well. The life of a thief wouldn't do here, he had quickly realized, and even with the free housing, he needed a way to support himself and his son. He wouldn't be a layabout who took advantage of Neal's charity forever. He would contribute.
It would be a lie to say that the chilly reception he'd received from Regina hadn't affected him. He had no claims on her, he knew. He had chosen a life with Marian, maybe out of honor but he had still chosen, and he accepted that she had come here from a time when she didn't yet know him. Or love him. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but he accepted it all the same. That was why he was genuinely surprised when she showed up unannounced and even more surprised by the warm smile on her face.
"Regina?" he said, a dozen questions in that one word as he regarded her quizzically.
“Robin!” Regina repeated before crossing the distance between them. Once she was standing in front of him, Regina, hesitated for a second before throwing her arms around him. With her arms wrapped around his upper body and her head resting against his shoulder she breathed him in. The scent of forest was still there. Perhaps it was just his natural scent because how could it still linger if he was living indoors? Whatever the answer to that may be she truly didn’t care. Because right now in this very moment he made her feel safe. There truly was no one that ever made her feel as safe as she was when Robin held her.
The Seal was still something that she hated with a passion but for the first time she was thankful for it. When Greg left she had firmly believed that her last chance at love was gone. That she was destined to have love and then have it taken away from her. Because she was a villain. And villains didn’t get happy endings. It was as simple as that. She would be lying if she said that she wasn’t afraid that her little prince would be taken from her like everyone else had. That she didn’t hold him a little closer in the hopes of holding on to him for a moment longer. But while those feelings were still there she couldn’t help but be happy for the Seal’s latest gift. These memories were a gift. Perhaps even a sign that it was possible for her to have a happy ending. Maybe just maybe she was allowed to have three true loves, two of whom she was certain were her soulmates.
With a smile -- that was truly only reserved for him -- Regina pulled back and said, “I remember, Robin, I remember everything. I can’t explain why or even how but I do remember.”
Nothing could have surprised Robin more than the way Regina swiftly crossed the room, closing the distance between them. Before he could question what she was doing, he found himself in the arms of the woman he loved and it was all he could do to return the embrace. His arms moved around her automatically and he held her close, his face pressing against her hair as he, too, breathed in her scent.
Robin wasn’t sure what had brought this about, but at the moment he honestly didn’t care. He had been confused and then crushed by her reaction to his arrival. Learning that she didn’t remember the love between them, that she’d loved another and had a child with him had been difficult. Robin didn’t begrudge her that, but it had still hurt. Whatever the reason behind her affection now, he was determined to appreciate it without bombarding her with too many questions.
When she pulled back and explained, however, Robin’s smile mirrored hers. A large grin broke out over his face showing how happy that made him that he could possibly explain. It didn’t matter how or why she remembered now. The important thing was that she did. Robin grinned at her a moment longer before he bent down and kissed her, trying to show her how he felt about her new memories without saying a word.
The smile on her face only seemed to grow when she saw that very same smile mirrored on her soul mates face. There were still questions to be answered but in that moment all that mattered was the happiness they both shared. As Robin bent down to kiss her, Regina, unknowingly had been raising herself to do the very same. Sometimes words could not properly convey what it is you were feeling but actions most certainly could. When their mouths met she smiled briefly into the kiss -- they had both had the same thought -- before she returned the kiss. Also trying to convey how she felt about her new memories.
After a few short minutes of the two reunited soul mates exchanging kisses, Regina, pulled away and cupped his face in her hands. Her thumbs gently stroked his cheeks like they had the day she told him about her destiny with the man with the lion tattoo. And once again she held back the tears that wanted to escape in response to just how happy she was.
Regina waited another moment before sliding her hands down to rest on his shoulders. Before they could truly move forward and enjoy a life together here they had a few things to discuss. The most important being her infant son with a man she would always love. She only hoped that Robin understood and could accept her son as his own one day. Just as she knew that she would accept Roland as her own.
“I know you have questions,” she began before pausing and a moment later adding, “but before you ask them I want to apologize for the cold treatment you received from me.”
Robin had adjusted to Lawrence, slowly but surely, but being in Regina's arms was the first time it had truly felt like home. It was true that he had loved Marian with his whole heart and that a part of him would always care for her, but it was this woman - Regina Mills, the former Evil Queen - who held every piece of his heart now. Being apart from her had been agony, especially when the separation was of her own choosing. A part of him wanted to know what had brought about this change of heart, but the truth was that it didn't matter half as much as knowing that she did love him. Or, rather, that she remembered their love. However she had gained those memories, he wasn't really inclined to question it.
"You owe me no such apology," he countered. Even as the embrace ended, he didn't move away from her. Robin held her securely, as though he was afraid that loosening his hold on her might make her vanish again. One hand remained on the small of her back now as the other lifted to gently stroke her cheek. "Nor do you owe me any explanations. What matters is that you're here now. I don't need to know how or why as long as you can promise me that I'm not merely dreaming this whole thing."
It was true that he didn't overly trust magic, especially the sort that seemed prevalent in this land. Whatever magic had restored Regina's memories of their love and their life together likely wasn't to be trusted, either, but Robin would not look a gift horse in the mouth. He could do nothing other than be grateful to have Regina's love back in his life, however it had come to be.
Regina wouldn’t say anything -- at least for the moment -- but Robin’s refusal to move away from her once their embrace had ended, warmed her heart. To those who truly knew her that minor detail would come as no surprise. The king rarely touched her. Or spoke to her for that matter. She was more of a glorified babysitter for Snow than a wife. Every sexual encounter after the king’s passing was strictly just that. A sexual encounter. There were no feelings involved. And rarely did she allow any of them to touch her in any way. She was in complete control. Robin was the first person since Daniel that she truly allowed to hold her. And the reason why was so very simple. In his arms she felt safe, protected and loved.
As his hand gently stroked her cheek she gazed into his eyes. Though she tried desperately to keep it from falling, a tear escaped, and rolled down her face. She truly did not deserve the love and complete understanding that this man freely gave to her.
Turning she pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand before replying, “I promise you that this isn’t a dream.” Though there was a small part of her that felt it could be. Because everything that she was feeling at that exact moment was truly too good to be true. Even though it pained her to move out of his arms, Regina, knew that if she remained in them they’d never discuss what they needed to. Robin may believe that she owed him no explanations but the same could not be said for her. She needed to tell him about the life she had lived in Lawrence before she lost her nerve.
Taking a step back, Regina, stepped away from her soulmate and prepared herself for his reaction to everything she would soon tell him. Her walls went back up. She knew that he knew her better than anyone and could easily see when she threw them back up to protect herself. But that didn’t stop her. The former queen needed her coat of armor to get through the discussion they were about to have.
“Robin..,” she began and then stopped. She wasn’t ready for this.
Robin was, truthfully, near tears himself, but they were tears of joy over holding Regina again and seeing her love for him in her eyes. It was a gift, truly, to look at her and see that she did remember them, that she loved him. Whether he quite trusted the magic of this land or not, this wasn’t something he intended to question.
Worry wrinkled his features as he recognized the subtle signs of Regina’s walls going back up, though. She stepped away from him, but it was more than that. She was preparing herself to tell him something that would not be easy for her. Whatever it was, Robin was confused he could handle it. They could handle it, together, because now that he had his Regina back, he had no intention of letting her go again.
Ignoring her need to keep those walls in place, Robin took a step forward and closed the distance between them. His hand went immediately to her cheek, caressing it lightly as he shook his head. “Whatever it is, Regina, you can tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together. I promise you, as long as you want me here, I am not going anywhere.” The expression he regarded her with was a solemn one, but it was also determined. He had no doubt that whatever she needed to say could hurt them both, but that did not lessen his resolve. He would not leave her side unless she asked him to and even then he would not go without a fight. He had not found the woman he so loved only to lose her again.
A tiny gasp escaped her lips when Robin closed the distance that she had just placed between them. She should have known that he would do something like that. As his hand caressed her cheek and he spoke to her she could barely breathe.
The man holding her in his arms had no reason to love her. She had captured his wife. Paraded her around as an example of what happened when you defied the Queen. And then had ordered her execution. Her sister may have been the one to carry the deed out in the new timeline but in the original, Regina, was almost certain she had. What made it worse was the very fact that she could not recall having killed Marian. But why would she? She had burned villages and killed hundreds. One face certainly wasn’t going to stand out when so much blood was on her hands. And yet Robin had forgiven her.
Robin was truly everything that she had ever wanted. The love they shared was unlike the puppy love that existed between her and Daniel. Letting out a shaky breath she began again. “My son’s father, his name was Greg, and I loved him. I still love him.”
Regina paused and tried to figure out how to phrase what she was going to say next. The last thing that she wanted to do was to hurt him anymore than she already had. “The love that we shared was True Love. Our son wouldn’t exist if it hadn’t been. And there is a part of my heart that will always belong to him. Just as there is a part of my heart that will always belong to Daniel.”
Robin nearly laughed with relief when she spoke. As it was, he couldn't keep his reaction from showing plainly on his face.
"And the way a part of mine will always belong to Marian," he added when she'd finished. "Regina, we have both loved before. I would never expect that you should stop loving the men in your past, simply because you have moved on with your life. Nor, would you, I hope, expect me to stop caring for Marian. I would chose you, given the chance to do so, but that doesn't lessen my feelings for her and I don't expect any different from you. That might make things complicated, should our loved ones show up here in the manner we did, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
Robin had expected worse when she'd seemed so hesitant to tell him what was on her mind. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but he hadn't expected something so... simple. So obvious that she needn't have even said the words for him to understand what she felt for those men in her past. If they were here, things might be different, but as things stood now, he didn't see it as something to worry about. In fact, the way she clearly loved those two other men only seemed to make him love her more.
All while he spoke, Regina’s control over her tears, began to break down. By the time he was done her control was gone and tears were escaping her eyes at will. Running down her cheek and his hand. But he didn’t seem to care. Robin would probably tell her to cry her tears of happiness. And he’d probably join her. There were no words that needed to be said at that moment in time. No words could properly convey just what it is she wanted to say to him.
So, Regina, decided to let her actions speak louder than words. Her arms slowly moved up to wrap around his neck, raising her body up with it, and she placed a tender kiss upon his lips. As they kissed she ran her fingers through his hair and allowed herself to drop her walls entirely. Eventually they would need to discuss a few things but it didn’t have to be in that moment. The biggest issue that lay between them had been addressed and they knew where the other stood. They could address everything else later. And should something come up to try and tear them apart, well, Robin, had it right. They’d get through it together.